The father who takes care of his son does not “help” the mother, he fulfills his duty

The father who attends to the baby’s cries, who rocks him, who changes his diapers and teaches him the first words, is not “helping” the mother, he is exercising the most wonderful and responsible role of his life: that of fatherhood. . They are undoubtedly nuances of a language that are like hidden traps that we fall into very often and that need to be transformed.

To this day, and to our surprise, we continue to hear many people say out loud the classic phrase of “My partner helps me with housework” either “I help my wife take care of the children”. It is as if the tasks and responsibilities of a house and a family had heritagea distinctive hallmark associated with the genre and from which we have not yet completely gotten rid of in our thinking patterns.

The figure of the father is just as relevant as that of a mother. It is clear, however, that the newborn’s first attachment bond during the first months is centered on the maternal figure. However, today, the classic image of the parent where the iron authority and basic support of the home were focused no longer holds and must be invalidated.

We must put an end to the outdated patriarchal scheme where tasks are sexualized in pink and blue, in order to promote real changes in our society. To do this, we must sow change in the private sphere of our homes and, above all, in our language.

Because the father “doesn’t help”, he is not someone who stops by the house and lightens his partner’s work from time to time. A father is someone who knows how to be present, who loves, who cares for and takes responsibility for what gives meaning to his life: his family..

Men’s brains during parenting

Something we all know is that Moms’ brains undergo amazing changes while raising a baby. Pregnancy itself, breastfeeding, as well as daily care of the child promote brain restructuring for adaptive purposes. It’s something amazing. Not only is oxytocin increased, but the neuronal synapse changes to increase sensitivity and perception so that the woman can recognize the emotional state of her baby.

Now… and what happens with the father? Is he perhaps a mere spectator biologically immune to said event? Not at all, what’s more, Men’s brains also change, and they do so in a simply spectacular way.

According to a study carried out at the Gonda Brain Science Center of Bar-Ilan University, if a man plays a primary role in caring for his baby he experiences the same neuronal change as a woman.

Through various brain scans, carried out on both heterosexual and homosexual parents, it could be seen that The activity of his tonsils was 5 times more intense than normal. This structure is related to warning of danger and greater sensitivity to the emotional world of babies.

Likewise, and this information may surprise more than one, The level of oxytocin secreted by a father who plays the role of primary caregiver is the same as that of a woman who also plays the role of mother.. All of this reveals something that we already knew: a father can relate to his children on the same emotional level as the mother.

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Responsible fatherhood and motherhood

There are parents who do not know how to be present. There are toxic mothers, wonderful fathers who raise their children alone, and extraordinary mothers who leave indelible marks on their children’s hearts. Raising a child is a challenge that some are not prepared for. and that many others face as the most enriching challenge of their lives.

With this we want to make one aspect clear: good fatherhood and good motherhood do not know about sexes, but about people. Even more, each couple is very aware of their own needs and will carry out parenting and care tasks based on their characteristics. That is, it is its own members who establish the distribution and responsibilities of the home based on availability.

Reaching agreements, being complicit with each other and Being clear that caring for your children is a mutual responsibility and not the exclusive responsibility of just one person will create that favorable harmony. in which the child will grow in happiness having above all a good example of what parenthood is.

Likewise, and beyond the great efforts that each family makes within its own home, It is necessary that society also be sensitive to that type of language that fuels sexist labels and stereotypes.

Mothers and fathers with occupations

Moms who continue with their professional careers and who fight to have a position in society, are not “bad mothers” nor do they neglect their children. For their part, fathers who bottle-feed, who look for remedies for their babies’ colic, who go to buy diapers or bathe their children every night are not helping: they are exercising their fatherhood.

The media and social networks can be a great reflection of the sexist thinking that still underlies many people. This is observed when a famous woman who has just become a mother continues with her work career, Sometimes she is criticized for not being with her baby. However, When the famous person is a man and continues with his work, nobody says anything.

We have associated that the mother must be taking care of the baby, while the father may be absent for work reasons. However, throughout the article, it has become evident that this argument falls on its own weight. There are many mothers and fathers with occupations, which is why It is important to know how to divide your time to be in charge of your child..

So, it’s time to stop applauding men who change diapers and men who parent as if it were some great feat. Because What is now seen with admiration in men, women have been doing for many years.. Although it is true, taking care of a baby with all the responsibility that entails is a great feat, so let us admire both mothers and fathers.

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