In bad weather, good face, is this really possible?

“At bad times, good face”. How many times have we heard this expression? We are aware that many of these sayings or well-intentioned proverbs often contain a few touches of brilliant wisdom. However, if we objectively analyze some of these messages, we discover that it is not always easy to fulfill them, because sometimes bad times do not allow for joyful expressions.

“When the night is darker, the stars shine brighter.” This is undoubtedly another of those phrases that we like so much, the same one that is shared thousands of times and that has inspired us on more than one occasion. Now, something that experts such as psychologists Tim Lomas and Itai Ivtzan tell us is that with this type of linguistic resources we are overly praising the ability to always, and in every moment, see the brighter side of life.

There will undoubtedly be someone who can achieve it. As we know, there are many people who recover with success and skill from each blow of destiny and each setback. However, the reality is different. The harsh reality is that Not everyone has that mental button that activates resilience or psychological strength, the one that doesn’t always come from the factory.

Thus, the psychologists mentioned above, Lomas and Ivtan advocate opening a new era in the so-called positive psychology (that of which they themselves are representatives). In this new approach, people are taught and guided to navigate those dark days. Because, when bad weather hits, sometimes there is no choice but to spend a few days under an umbrella.

At bad times, good face? No, it is not always possible

We know that attitude is everything. We understand very well that with a positive and hopeful approach, difficulties are overcome in a more adequate way. Thus, when they remind us that “in bad weather, good face” we can only nod, understanding that the right thing to do is to try and not lose our smile no matter what happens to us.

However, no matter how hard we try, this is not always possible. On the other hand, this being so is not only normal, but also permissible. Because sometimes bad days follow each other, and a bad week turns into a bad season.. Not finding the strength to smile and show a good face to the world is also acceptable.

In the book Second wave of positive psychology: embracing the dark side of life, Doctors Tim Lomas and Itai Ivtzan tell us that the time has come to change the approach. We have spent too much time teaching people to be happy. Maybe it’s time to show how to deal with unhappiness. Knowing how to handle complicated situations is perhaps what we need most today..

Positive psychology is maturing, it’s time to learn to deal with bad weather

Positive psychology is one of the branches of psychology that has grown the most in recent decades.. Since Martin Seligman introduced it, this trend has expanded and flourished unstoppably. Now, it should be noted that it is also one of the most misunderstood.

Assuming that it is limited exclusively to giving us advice as a recipe so that we can be happy is a mistake. Currently, Positive psychology continues to mature and concepts such as resiliencehuman development, self-improvement or even spirituality, are giving way to other currents.

The so-called “negative” also has its place in this frame. Losses, challenges, uncertainties, unforeseen changes, stress or depression already take their place in the so-called second wave of positive psychology. Because Messages like “in bad weather, good face” make those who cannot draw smiles on rainy days feel even more of a failure..

“In bad weather, good face”, what to do when we don’t get it?

Trying to be well, when inside there is rain and broken pieces, is a terrible form of suffering.. The saddest thing is that we have been educated to do it. They have taught us that sorrows are hidden and that the most appropriate thing is to draw smiles and appear infallible, even when we cannot bear the weight of life itself.

We must be clear, phrases such as bad weather, good face can lead us to misunderstandings.. Not everyone manages to apply that attitude of improvement and confident hope. Sometimes, we are forced to assume, accept and go through sadness, to live our grief without showing a single smile. Because what is not felt should not be forced; Everything has its time.

Now, there is something we must understand. When it rains, we all carry umbrellas or raincoats; We protect ourselves, we have tools. The same thing happens with times of adversity. Each of us has the mission of finding those strategies that work best for us, because not all people are the same nor do we overcome difficulties in the same way.

Knowing how to communicate what happens to us, being brave to ask for help, giving ourselves time to heal, managing emotions or taking care of the quality of our thoughts are always good “umbrellas” to have on hand. Because It is possible that after the bad weather the rainbow will shine again, but until that day, we must deal with the storm. How we do it will determine us. Let’s keep it in mind.

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