Self-esteem and ego: 7 differences

Some people may still believe that the concepts of self-esteem and ego are synonymous.. Something totally understandable if we take into account that from a very young age we are taught to look at others before ourselves. Even in adulthood, looking out for oneself can be labeled as self-centeredness and selfishness.

But what happens when we confuse self-esteem with ego? That we put the needs of others before our own, that we seek external approval and that we feel guilty when we want to say “no”, but we are forced to say “yes” so as not to look selfish.

However, The great consequence of this confusion is the disconnection with our needs, since we forget to listen to ourselves and therefore value ourselves properly. For all this, today we are going to see 7 differences between self-esteem and ego.

1. Admiration for oneself

A person with a big ego has excessive admiration for himself. So much so that he develops narcissistic traits and observes the world from a distorted perspective. The big problem with this type of people is that they believe they are superior to others, that is, they consider that they are perfect and that everything they do is also perfect.

However, A person with high self-esteem, although he values ​​himself, always does so from a realistic perspective. Thus, he is aware of his virtues but also his defects and does not try to camouflage them to appear to be something he is not. On the contrary, she accepts them and if any of them cause problems or difficulties, he tries to find a solution.

2. Worry about yourself and others

The difference between self-esteem and ego can be seen very clearly in this second point. Someone with an ego will always worry about themselves, but never about others.. You need to be the center of attention, to capture everyone’s attention. And if this does not happen, if you feel ignored, one of your reactions is anger.

On the other hand, people with self-esteem worry about themselves, but also about others. Therefore, unlike someone with an ego, she knows how to listen and does not seek to be the center of attention. A person with self-esteem knows very well what empathy means and has much more enriching relationships.

3. See beyond your own beliefs

When we deal with A person who has a big ego, the first thing we will notice is that he is not able to see beyond his beliefs. It will be impossible to expect him to question them or reflect on them. He believes that his vision is the only true one and that causes him many conflicts with others.

However, A person with high self-esteem is able to look beyond his or her point of view. He knows that his vision is not the only one and he understands that other people have different perspectives, he may even become interested in them. The fact of knowing how to listen, of putting yourself in the shoes of another and of being able to acquire a new perspective on a situation makes the relationships you have healthy and beneficial.

As we see, A clear difference between self-esteem and ego is that the person with ego can never empathize or put themselves in the shoes of others. For this it is necessary to have a strong and healthy self-esteem. In fact, someone with an ego is not really liked or respected. He only covers and hides what does not interest him. That’s why it’s so difficult for you to see beyond.

4. The difficulty in accepting criticism

A person with a large dose of ego will not tolerate receiving even a single criticism that threatens the exaggerated and distorted image they have of themselves.. Because you have hidden your flaws under that mask of grandiosity, any sign of revealing them will cause you to become defensive, angry, and blame others.

Instead, Those who enjoy healthy self-esteem will be able to recognize their defects and receive criticism that helps them improve. You will not take the latter as something negative, but you will even appreciate it. Now, as long as they are constructive criticism.

5. Expect to receive something in return

We have seen that a person with a lot of ego always thinks about himself. Therefore, if she ever seeks help from others or approaches them expressing some kind of interest, it is because there is something that can benefit her. If nothing positive is going to come out, the person with ego will not count on others.

Someone with healthy self-esteem does not act this way. Well, he does not use others to achieve his goals, but thanks to others he knows that he can grow. Someone with self-esteem is never motivated by interest.

6. The hierarchy between people

Another of the big differences between self-esteem and ego is that Those who have an ego think they are above others. You may think this either because you consider that you are superior in strength, intelligence or beauty, among other things. Plus, he believes the world revolves around him.

However, A person with good self-esteem knows that no person is superior to another, just that they are different. Therefore, they do not usually make comparisons.

7. To give we must first give ourselves

The last of the differences between self-esteem and ego that we are going to discuss refers to this belief in meeting the needs of others first. However, we cannot give what we do not have.

So, Those who have large doses of ego cannot love healthily and cannot meet the needs of others if they have not first met their own. For this reason, his life goes by after constant attempts to pretend, camouflage, believe himself to be the best…

This does not happen with those people who have healthy self-esteem. They respect themselves, accept themselves, value themselves and love themselves. Therefore, they are capable of having very enriching relationships. They are not selfish, they are learning what they need and then providing it to others.

We have all, at some point, fallen into the clutches of the ego. Identifying it instead of denying it and looking at it head-on will allow us to realize that perhaps it hides self-esteem problems.

Don’t we think we are enough? What makes us feel insecure? Why do we want others to pay attention to us? Let’s reflect. You cannot have ego and high self-esteem at the same time..

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