Letter to emotional pain

You are that kind of pain that I don’t want to face. You are the emotional wound that was created by difficulties and that was fed by abuse. You are disappointment, betrayal, injustice, humiliation, abandonment and injustice.

I try to escape from you and I try not to look at you because the only thing that relieves me is the mirage of normality. I cover my eyes because I don’t want to live hurt, But I’m tired of saying that everything is fine.

When this happens, we end up getting into a spiral that absorbs us and squeezes our soul. For this reason, I have decided to close the wound that remains in me. On more than one occasion I have been able to feel that it was tearing my soul apart and murdering my hope.

This suffering is the work of a criminal. A criminal who broke my heart, who danced on my hardships, who took advantage of my innocence and who fed my worries with cruelty. A determined thief who, after the theft, got rid of my strength.

I became so afraid of flying with my broken wings that I stopped trying to understand that part of me that was sobbing. In other words: I made my body the tomb of my soul and I began to sink without putting up any resistance.

However, There is nothing like hitting rock bottom to gain momentum. I realized that trying to escape from what was tormenting me was perpetuating and aggravating my problems and, above all, devastating my emotions.

I understood that I could not deceive myself and neglect myself, that if something hurts you cannot say that everything is fine. In this way I realized that feeling the pain of life freely was my best escape.

It works in my favor that pain is only the first stage of suffering and that I still had time to heal before reaching irreparable damage. Let’s say that feeling this way is an alarm signal that our mind uses to alert us that there is something that is hindering our well-being.

The understanding that is achieved through emotional pain

Normally the blows catch us by surprise and cause us so much grief that we try to avoid it, making us experts in evading the painful things in life. For example, this happens to us when we are on the verge of a separation. It is evident that the distance is growing but, nevertheless, we want to believe that nothing is happening and that everything will be fixed.

These types of masochistic behaviors cause us to develop an excessive tolerance to pain. We think that in order not to fail in “our condition as a person/couple/friend/woman/man/father/mother, etc.”we must sacrifice ourselves and, as a consequence, suffer.

I mean, By getting used to pain we justify this tendency towards total and unrestrained surrender. through which we try to give meaning to our behaviors and even our lives.

Thus, when we are going through a painful stage, we unconsciously try to move on as if nothing was happening. However, with that attitude what we achieve is to entrench the pain and allow it to take root.

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