Remember: people do things and you decide if they affect you or not

You can’t prevent what others do from affecting you, but you can manage your emotions to avoid falling into depressive spirals.

People do things that affect us, that do not always harmonize with our tastes., with our principles or values. However, only you decide to what extent they can affect you or not. Because becoming bitter about what cannot be changed is losing quality of life. At the end of the day, it is about something as simple as “be and let be.”

“Everything that bothers you about others is just a projection of what you have not resolved about yourself.”

-Buddha-

In quantum physics there is a concept known as “quantum entanglement.” that has always worried Albert Einstein himself and that, in some way, can be applied to human behavior.

According to this principle, When two particles come into contact with each other they change in some aspect forever. Even more, even if they are not close to each other, what they have created together, in turn impacts the rest of the particles.

This quantum entanglement also characterizes all of us. It’s easy to understand, let’s give an example. We have a colleague with a very particular hobby: sowing criticism. The bad mood that their behavior produces in us enters our emotional backpack every day, to the point that this discomfort affects our relationship with our family.

We are all like chaotic particles colliding with each other and magnetizing certain emotional charges. What some do, others suffer and those who suffer it begin a chain of contagion of that suffering.

It is necessary to break this interconnection that decimates the quality of our relationships day by day. Let’s educate our mind so that it is able to distance itself and break this game of forces.

There are things that no longer affect me: the principle of buoyancy

We are sure that At this point in life there will be many things that no longer affect you.. You have learned that it is not good to expect so much from people, that it is better to be cautious and let everyday dealings reveal to you the true essence of that so-called friend.

How can we prevent these types of attitudes from affecting us?

It is not at all about being passive, to carry out “non-resistance” where we gradually become the targets of all the poisoned arrows. The well-known labor analyst and writer Daniel Pink introduces us to a very interesting and useful term in this same context: buoyancy.

just visualize a buoy floating in the sea

This mental resistance comes from that subtle point of balance and strength where one knows very well what their values are, their inner firmness and their emotional ties.

How to make things not affect you?

In addition to the previous buoy exercise, you can also apply the following:

When you feel situations and emotions approaching that may affect you, pause for a moment. Inhale deeply through your nose and then exhale through your mouth. Try doing this 5 to 10 times until you feel like you have control of yourself, your heart rate, and your breathing.Focus on your body. Get up, walk, stretch your body. How does your body feel right now? Pay attention to the sensation and try to observe with compassion any thoughts or emotions that are causing you discomfort. Focus on your body again and stay connected to the moment, to the present. If you feel that circumstances are starting to affect you, go to the bathroom and look in the mirror for a few minutes. While you do it, Focus on breathing deeply and think about increasing your self-compassion.Repeat a mantra. When you feel affected, breathe deeply and repeat a mantra within your mind. You can choose any phrase you want: “This is not about me,” “There is no need to be nervous,” “This will pass.” Mindfulness can help you manage your emotions. Instead of focusing on what might happen in the future, pay attention to what is happening right now in this moment. It may be helpful to focus on your senses: name some things you can see, smell, taste, feel and hear to stay present…

Read Also: Exes who are friends: how good is it?

What I am and what you are is also in harmony

People expect and deserve respect, consideration and recognition. When one of these pillars collapses we have every right to defend ourselves, react and protect ourselves. However, several aspects must be clear.

“You are you and I am me.” What others say or think about us does NOT determine who we are.. It doesn’t matter how much fire comes out of their mouths, or what kind of poison they want to throw at us. The one who decides whether it burns or not is us. The one who has the power to withdraw the hand and choose not to poison ourselves is also us. “I accept you for who you are.” Accepting a person does not mean agreeing with what they say or do.. He means to stop fighting with her to accept her as someone different from us. To accept, therefore, in this case is to give up more fights, to invest more time, effort and suffering in what is not worth it.

In that renunciation that generates accepting a person for who they are in order to be free, there is also a certain harmony. It is letting go of something to regain internal balance.: to rise afloat again.

Things only affect you if you let them do so.

We talked at the beginning about the principle of “quantum entanglement”. We know that we are not alone in our environmentsin these gravitational fields where we all collide with everyone in a dance that is sometimes out of tune.

Read Also: Alejandra Pizarnik, biography of the last cursed writer

In this game of forces and interactions, as Einstein himself said, we almost always take something from others. Let’s try not to be magnetized only by the negative charge, the one that, in some way, we can infect our loved ones.

Let us simply let others be as they wish to be. Allow the talkative to speak, the disorderly to waste time in their disorder. Let the bitter person make his life bitter and the criticizer poison himself with his own tongue. Let them be as they want, but when they are around you, don’t forget HOW YOU ARE.

It acts like that firm buoy in the ocean, firmly attached to its principles, to their internal strengths. Sooner or later the storm always clears. And so, things affect you only if you let them do so.