I have stopped giving explanations to those who understand what they want

Social pressure often forces us to explain ourselves when we really just want to be authentic. You have every right not to agree to do so, and here we explain why.

Don’t keep explaining everything you do: it’s a source of unnecessary stress. There is no need to justify your way of being to those who already judge you just for being different, for being unique. Whoever loves you, respects you. So avoid falling into the culture of “what will they say” and protect your privacy, your essences.

Something that characterizes today’s society is that there are canons for everything: from physical appearance to what is considered “biologically” normal, such as getting married, having children, etc. Social and even family pressure often forces us to have to give explanations for everything we do. (or what we decide not to do).

Practice personal freedom and the art of assertiveness. Stop giving explanations about everything you do: those who love you do not need it and those who do not respect you will understand what they want.

Something important, which we should start doing today, is to reflect on the number of times we justify ourselves to others. Doing it excessively means falling into inconsistencies, suffering and unnecessary cost overruns. You are your own judge and you have assertive rights to say: “No, I’m not going to give you explanations because it doesn’t concern you at all.”

Giving explanations: a source of stress

In an interesting article published in the “Psychology Today” space, they explain to us that people must learn to confront all those people who dare to question our “life decisions.”

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– How come you haven’t gotten married yet?
– When are you going to settle down and find a good job?
– Why don’t you have another child?

The most complex thing about these situations is that The judges who evaluate our decisions or “non-actions” are precisely the closest relativesHence, the pressure and feeling of stress is higher.

Reasons that force us to have to give explanations

To understand the most common sources of suffering a little better, it is necessary to take into account these dimensions in which we can all see ourselves identified.

A very common mistake that we tend to make is that We condition ourselves with the stressful need to design our existence seeking the pleasure of others. (and especially towards our families). Another aspect to keep in mind is that There are those who have made their personal life a public forum, where every act, choice or thought must be put out loud to find acceptance. It is something we often see on our social networks: “a like” is a positive reinforcement with which to feel good after publishing a thought or a photo.The fear of “what will they say” is still very present today. There are those who feel the need to justify everything they do so as not to “break” that circle of control where acting or not giving explanations is being pointed out as different.

Apply the following rule in your life: do things before talking about them, because things, when done, speak for themselves and do not need explanations.

Our assertive rights

In a study carried out at the University of Ohio (United States) and published in the journal “Behavior modification” they explain that The simple act of developing and applying assertive strategies improves our health and the quality of our social relationships.

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All of us have assertive rights, that is, you can and should have your own opinions and beliefs.with the right to evaluate your feelings and behaviors, and to accept them as valid even if others do not see them well or do not accept them.

Learn to be assertive: it is not always useful to give explanations

Now… How can we internalize and apply these pillars in our closest reality? We invite you to take note:

You have the right to give or not give explanations: The ones truly responsible for what we do, feel or choose are ourselves.. If others love and respect us, they don’t need our justifications.Set boundaries diplomatically: When a family member, for example, insists that you give them an explanation about something that does not concern them, set limits politely and always use short sentences: “It’s my decision,” “because I like it that way,” “because I’m happy with my life.”Assume that sometimes explaining is useless.: it is something we must accept because There are those who understand what you want, and often, the demand for an explanation is already a criticism or a way to humiliate. Learn to ignore empty criticism and don’t stress out. Avoid useless suffering.

Before giving an explanation, think about whether what you are going to say will contribute to improving something, solving or preventing a specific aspect. If not, don’t worry, smile and just remain silent.