My boyfriend doesn’t have time for me: 11 reasons and what you can do

Probably when you met your boyfriend he was the life of the party. Surely, you connected with him in many aspects: his sense of humor, his interests, his goals, his values, among many other things.

But after a while things changed and not in a positive way. Now your boyfriend has no time for you and you wonder why he has become so different.

Learn about the causes and warning signs below so you can understand why your boyfriend doesn’t have time for you.

And then we’ll see what you can do, if your boyfriend never wants to do anything.

Below, I’m going to list 11 of the top reasons for a boring boyfriend, followed by 7 solutions.

11 reasons why my boyfriend never wants to do anything

Why doesn’t my boyfriend have time for me?

1) He is going through drama

Men tend to shut down when faced with difficult situations.

You could have a sick family member, arguments with friends, or any other major problem. So this could explain why you are sitting all day in front of the TV doing nothing.

It could also be that he doesn’t want to burden you with his problems.

This makes you feel weak, vulnerable, or less desirable in some way. And that’s why they usually choose to lock themselves up and play video games or stare out the window, saying nothing.

Dealing with emotional issues is very exhausting. This could be draining his energy and making him seem aloof.

Relationship expert Nick Bastion says:

“The first step is to realize that when something weighs on a man’s mind, he just needs time to work it out. There is no time limit. He will take as long as necessary.

And when do they have that downtime? When you’re not at work…

This does not mean anything bad to you. He just needs to deal with his thoughts, problems and worries, during the time he is not at work. It does not mean that you are not important to him or that you are not a priority. It just means he’s not at work where it’s crucial to be focused and he needs to let his mind work on it or he’ll go crazy.”

2) He is tired of your friends

Getting very close to someone is an exhilarating experience, but some couples overdo it.

They go everywhere together and your friends are now their friends.

So what could be happening is that he’s a little tired from spending so much time with your friends. Hearing about them and basically pretending to like them.

You have to make sure that your life and his are separate at certain times. This includes having your own friends and activities.

Your boyfriend is bored, because maybe he is trying to have his own independence. Maybe he doesn’t tell you, because he feels you won’t understand and he keeps it to himself.

3) He is tired of seeing your face

Spending time with someone you love is obviously amazing.

But even the best things can become overwhelming. Maybe he doesn’t value you as much anymore and he thinks you’ll never leave him.

Maybe your boyfriend feels suffocated and lacking space.

He might still love you very much, but be tired of spending all your time together. He might be feeling like they are always on top of each other.

This is particularly true if you live together, where it is more difficult to have time alone and have your own space.

4) You are treating him like a friend, instead of a lover

Men need to feel excited, appreciated, and a little challenged by you.

In some cases it could happen that a boyfriend becomes more than a friend, without realizing it.

Surely you have physical intimacy and partner connections.

But maybe you started treating him like a partner, instead of a man you might want to marry one day.

And probably feeling more like a friend made him stop wanting to do so many things with you.

5) He is mad at you

My boyfriend doesn’t make time for me

Boys tend to be more direct, but can sometimes become passive-aggressive.

Instead of just talking about a problem they might have, frown or make comments about other, smaller problems.

The reality is that most men have a hard time talking about their emotions.

So, the way they find to vent their anger is by arguing over trifles or by walking away from you.

6) It’s Just The End Of The Infatuation Phase

Relationships usually have an infatuation phase, which lasts for a couple of months, early in the relationship.

It starts to wear off once you get to know each other better and the initial excitement starts to fade a bit.

This could mean that your guy is less interested in spending all his time with you.

The end of the infatuation stage doesn’t have to mean the end of your relationship.

But usually, it means a noticeable drop in the amount of time you spend together and your interest in doing activities.

7) He is sexually bored

Things can go very well in all aspects of a relationship.

But if he’s not happy from the waist down, it could all go off the rails.

It’s not necessarily your fault that he doesn’t feel excited in the bedroom. Putting the burden of that on the woman is misogynistic nonsense.

But if this problem persists, then some form of communication will have to be established.

If you want some tips to put some spice in your relationship, here is an article that might interest you: “How to drive a man crazy in bed”

Also, you probably want to spice up his sexuality a bit, to get his libido roaring like a lion again.

8) You feel pressured

Reverse psychology may not always work, but it is effective in some cases.

If you’re constantly all over your guy and make him feel like your happiness depends on him, he might get overwhelmed.

Don’t make him feel pressured to spend more time with you or to continually do activities and events together.

Otherwise, your first instinct will be to find a way around the commitments.

If your man feels that you are depending on him to make your life worthwhile, he will feel restless and uncomfortable.

Also, this is not healthy for you either. Being dependent on a guy is never a good idea.

9) He feels misunderstood by you

No one can understand another person 100%.

Each of us sees and feels the world in different ways, depending on many variables.

But another thing is if your boyfriend feels that a basic bond of connection and understanding has been broken or missing.

So this can be one of the main issues that makes him stop wanting to do things with you.

For example, he may feel that you don’t care enough about the problems in his life.

Or he might think that your interests and emotional responses to his life are superficial.

This makes him feel upset and alone.

10) He feels that you do not appreciate him enough

If your guy feels ignored or underappreciated, he may withdraw into himself with you.

Also, he could look for other people who care about him more.

Showing appreciation for your boyfriend is not about being overly affectionate. It’s just about giving your appreciation, thanks and love, from time to time.

When he feels appreciated, he will open up and want to do more together. Instead, when he doesn’t feel you consider him, he will retreat into his shell.

11) The relationship is over for him

He may want to leave you, but doesn’t know how or is too scared to try.

If he hides and is a recluse who never wants to do anything with you, it could just be that he doesn’t want to be with you anymore.

It hurts a lot to think about it, but it could be true.

It is best to consider this possibility so that you are not completely surprised if he breaks up with you.

What to do when your boyfriend never wants to do anything

When your boyfriend doesn’t have time for you

1) Ask him what’s going on

Communication and trust is the fundamental basis of any relationship.

Is your man turned off and doesn’t want to do anything? Then it is best that you talk to him in a calm and mature way.

Try to be subtle, advises Carolyn Steber, a sex and relationship writer. A good way is to simply ask how her day was.

He responds by talking about the great weather and the amazing burrito he had for lunch? Or do they complain that everything in his life is horrible? “

Guys generally don’t like to talk about their feelings or what’s wrong with them.

So there’s a good chance he’ll avoid the topic you want to talk about.

2) Try to see their point of view

Strong emotions, both positive and negative, can blind us.

Then try to see your boyfriend’s point of view.

He doesn’t communicate much with you. So make an effort to think about the situation he might be in and how that might be affecting him.

Have you recently lost your job or had a labor dispute?

Have you had problems with an ex?

Are you worried about your health?

Are you worried about your future plans?

Once you understand this, you will be able to help him and you won’t worry unnecessarily about your relationship.

3) Try something new with him

Sometimes all you might need is to do something new together. Something to get you out of a rut, which could be ruining your relationship.

There are many new and exciting activities that you can try with your boyfriend.

If you’re both tired from work, how about meeting at the exit and going out for a drink?

Do you both love food?

Take a cooking class or just try new recipes by cooking together.

How about a spontaneous trip to somewhere your boyfriend has been wanting to visit?

Think of these activities as ways to reconnect, which can get him to open up to you again.

4) Stay as calm as possible

It’s easy to take this type of situation personally.

But think first if his behavior might not have anything to do with you.

That is why you must approach it with caution, respect and tranquility.

Of course you can communicate your concern about how he is behaving. But you don’t have to yell at him or make a drama.

5) Accept what you cannot change

Perhaps there has been a situation or a change in the relationship that has caused your boyfriend to withdraw and stop wanting to do things with you.

So it is vital that you accept what you cannot change.

You may be able to talk to him, influence him, or help him. But you can’t make him a different man or change his situation in life.

Trying to change your boyfriend will get you nowhere. It will only end in you becoming extremely frustrated and him being even more withdrawn than he was in the beginning.

6) Be honest with yourself

Because your boyfriend has no time for you

Could you be in a codependent relationship?

At first, they may be balanced with how much they chase each other. But after a while it may be that the balance leans more to one side than the other.

You text him, you call him, I encourage him, I comfort him.

And what does he do?

Well basically nothing.

If you are not honest with yourself, you are likely to have months and years of needless suffering.

Don’t settle.

If you…