If your ex texts you to find out how you are, what should you do?

It can happen to any of us: one day, you are busy with the things of your life and, without expecting it, your ex contacts you. Suddenly, you feel confused and don’t know what to make of this situation.

Whether the decision to break up was mutual or things ended on a sour note, the uneasiness you feel when trying to figure out how to proceed is real. What should you do when your ex texts you to find out how you are?

Next, we leave you some options for you to try and see which one suits you best.

What to do when an ex texts you to find out how you are?

1) Think about how it will affect you

This could be a painful experience or one that can offer you closure or one that starts a rekindled relationship.

First think carefully about what you want from this communication and how it will affect you, before responding.

Also, you have to know that you do not have to respond.

Old relationships often bring with them old hurts and unanswered questions. If you think making contact with your ex could bring this up and threaten your hard-earned happiness, don’t do it!

The amazing part of being out of the relationship is that you are only responsible for doing the things that work for you, no matter how he feels. This does not mean that you should be respectful of your former partner.

2) If you are currently dating someone, you should consider the feelings of your current partner

It may be obvious that you will immediately respond to your ex if you are single.

But if you’re already in a new relationship, it’s also important to consider your current partner’s feelings.

Consider how your partner would react, if he knew that you struck up a conversation with the man with whom you had a previous relationship.

I also think it’s helpful to imagine how you would feel if the roles were reversed and he was in contact with an ex from a long time ago.

There’s nothing like a change in perspective to keep you from responding impulsively.

3) Take your time to answer

It is possible that, faced with the surprise of receiving a WhatsApp message from your ex, you feel the urge to respond immediately.

But slowing down the speed of your response can ensure that you’re really happy with the response you end up giving your ex.

Also, you will have really considered that you are ready to talk to him.

You may have a strong emotional reaction if you read a message from your ex that you haven’t talked to in a long time. This can be joy, sadness, or anger.

However, try to pause before answering; it will help you order your thoughts and be less reactive in your response.

Also note that this may be the only communication reopened for a while. So making sure how you want to respond is important.

4) Keep your answers simple

When crafting your answer, you may be tempted to leave everything on the table.

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But it’s best to keep things light and cheerful at first. Especially if you don’t know what your intentions are.

Maybe your relationship was basically healthy and ended due to being in different places in life, a bad timing, etc.

So being open to this contact might be a comfortable and correct move.

If this is your situation, keep your answers short and simple, to get more information about why he is reaching out now.

The best move is to gather information, before making assumptions or saying something you may regret later.

5) Do not rush into wanting to form a friendship or a reconnection

No matter how you decide to approach, after initial contact with your ex. Don’t rush things.

It is very possible that you will end up with this person again, or at least as a good friend of hers, depending on what you have decided.

But don’t be too quick to give an answer or a decision about who the two of you “are”. This will not help the situation.

If you plan to reconnect with your ex, set clear boundaries about what you hope to accomplish by rebuilding a friendship or relationship.

Additionally, don’t let your ex make you feel guilty for setting limits on how you will interact with him.

It’s also okay to let him know that you’re not interested in rebuilding an intimate relationship, if you just want to be his friend.

Finally, it’s valid if you don’t want to be in a relationship with him at all.

6) Be open and honest with him

No matter how the conversation goes, make sure to be honest from the start.

Regardless of what you want from the relationship, you must make it clear that both you and he understand and want the same from this new contact.

Reconnecting with an ex in a positive way will not be an easy task.

You must be frank with your intentions, so that neither of you gets hurt from this new reunion.

If you want to start something new with him, in any way, it is because you also want him well. You will achieve this through open and honest communication.

7) Be careful not to fall into a “yo-yo relationship”

A whirlwind romance might seem like a good thing, but make sure you don’t get carried away with the idea of an on-off relationship.

Our culture has romanticized the Ross and Rachel-style on-and-off relationship.

However, these yo-yo relationships have a negative impact on mental health and general well-being.

There are legitimate reasons to try again, after a breakup. But if you’re constantly in this tug-of-war, neither of you is getting the kind of love and care that you deserve.

In addition, they will not be starting or finishing anything, so their romantic life will always be halfway through, without being able to go deeper into it.

8) If you want to get back together, make sure there is a good reason for it.

If you’ve gotten close and seem intent on getting back together, there are a few scenarios you might consider appropriate. But it all depends on how your initial relationship was.

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If, for example, you broke up with him, because you were going through a difficult time for personal or health reasons, and now you are in a much better place, it would be more than okay to try again.

Perhaps you have grown and understood certain things from the past, which could make your relationship work much better this time around.

9) Make him understand that you are not interested without hurting him

If he wants to get back together and you don’t feel the same way, make sure you let him know without hurting him.

There is also the possibility that you no longer care about your ex and he cares about you. In that case, any kind of communication can give the impression that he still has a chance.

If you have an ex who still wants to be in a relationship with you, then you should withdraw any commitment to that person.

10) Do not expect the magic of the “closure”

One of the most common reasons for reconnecting with an ex is the much-desired “closure.” But few people understand it.

The reality is that the only one that can close this chapter is yourself and time.

Men have a myriad of reasons for wanting to get in touch with an ex. Many times, even they themselves do not fully understand why they are reaching out.

What does it mean when your ex texts you to find out how you are?

It is normal to receive messages from an ex with whom you have had an important relationship. Although everything depends on the content of that message and the circumstances.

That your former partner writes to ask how you are doing can mean several things:

You have been a very important person in his life. Suddenly losing contact with you, or not hearing from you again, is difficult for him to bear. Even though love is over, it doesn’t mean that he no longer cares about you as a person he still appreciates.

He may also want you to know that he is still there for you and still thinking of you. It is a way to attract your attention and try to have something with you again. He wants you to know that he has not forgotten you.

When an ex contacts you, it’s good to keep in mind the time that has passed since you broke up. This can help you figure out if he might want to get back into a romantic relationship with you.

If the cut was very recent, you may not have processed your breakup yet.

Otherwise, if you have not been together for some time, you have surely assumed your separation.

When your ex-partner texts you, should you respond?

First of all, you should consider the following:

Do you feel that he has a real interest or is there something behind it? How did the relationship end? What expectation do you have with this message? How do you feel responding and talking to him?

Read Also: If They Don't Appreciate You, Walk Away: 18 Honest Signs He Looks Down On You

Once you have answered these questions honestly, based on the answers, you will know if it is good to answer him or not.

Perhaps you have not gotten over the breakup and you feel that talking to that person could harm you.

So it’s best to respond later, when you’re ready to have a conversation with your old partner.

How can you realize that your ex wants to get back

Do you notice that your ex is just as attentive as he was in the initial stage of the relationship?

So maybe it’s time to think that your old partner is not trying to have a friendship, but an intimate relationship with you.

Another way to find out if your ex wants to get back with you is thanks to technology.

This is done through social media. You must analyze if there is a change in behavior on his part, such as putting more “likes”, responding to posts that you upload and being attentive to everything you do.

This is a clear indication that he is still in love with you.

4 Signs Your Ex Doesn’t Want To Get Back With You

To find out if your ex has no intention of resuming the relationship they had, analyze if the following signs occur:

1) Avoid talking about your relationship

You’ve noticed that when someone brings up your relationship or you bring it up yourself, you find a way to change the subject.

You notice that it makes him uncomfortable and you realize that it is not because there are still emotions in him, but because he has moved on with his life.

2) Ignores you

You’ve tried to get in touch with your recent ex, but all you’ve gotten is silence. You have called him and he does not answer, he has seen your messages and he does not answer.

This is an undeniable sign that he no longer wants you to be a part of your life.

3) He says it openly

This is the most obvious way to know that your ex does not want to get back together.

Sometimes it can happen that we get confused and think that there is still something in it.

That is why I mention this point. So that you understand that, if he makes it very clear to you that he does not want to return, do not insist, or waste time on something that no longer exists.