How to become the person I want to be

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Are you what you want to be or are you what others expect you to be? There always comes a time when we must decide and that step requires more than courage or self-confidence. We need a plan and a series of strategies: we analyze them.

Leader of my own company. Astronomer. Someone independent and self-confident. High school teacher. Influencer. Sports trainer. A happier and more self-actualized person. Each person draws the canvas of their dreams with their own colors, with figures that only they themselves understand… However, How to become the person I want to be? Where should I start?

Life goals, like existential desires, do not appear before us with the snap of a finger or the utterance of a few magic words. We know that everything starts from a process of growth and personal improvement for which not everyone is prepared. Because to achieve some objectives, in reality, the classic formula is not enough “trust in yourself and the path will appear.”

Becoming that ideal that we have in mind, finally fitting into that dream life and showing those personality traits that we long for, requires an internal transformation that begins with a process. It is a transit in which we change skin little by little to allow the best version of ourselves to emerge.. That ability to conquer what you want, that far from giving up or giving up, continues working for your desires every day.

We are born as individuals and we must evolve to become the people we want. It is therefore time to achieve it.

How to become the person I want to be: keys that will help you

Carl Rogers was one of the most influential psychologists of the 20th century. His humanistic approach gave the field of personal development new perspectives and tools that remain valuable today. Thus, something that he proposed to us as a reflection is that each of us puts on masks over time almost without realizing it.

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Those masks are anchors to obtain social validation. With them, we hope to be accepted, integrated and even appreciated.. However, there comes a time when we carry so many masks and so many overlapping “skins” that we barely recognize ourselves. Because we have lived oriented towards others, but not integrated with ourselves, with our values, ideals, dreams and desires.

Therefore, it is common for more than one to ask themselves sooner or later the question “How to become the person I want to be?. We have spent so much time separating ourselves from our inner voice that we need to begin a return to ourselves. Only then can we begin that transformation process. A path that does not seek to shape a new self, but rather to allow the authentic being to emerge, the one that we have long silenced.

These would be the keys.

Clarify who you want to be (and let go of who you “should” be)

We people spend half our lives working on a version of ourselves that does not always fit our own values. To put it another way, Sometimes we focus more on the person we “should be” and not so much on who we really “want to be.”

What should we do in these cases? How to become the person I want to be?

For it, Concretely clarify how you want to see yourself in five years. Specify how you see yourself, what you dedicate your life to, and what or who surrounds you. Next, investigate why you want to be that type of person. Is it your own desire or is something conditioning you? Does that desired future version of yourself fit your values?

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Recognize your potential, identify your limits and shortcomings

If you ask yourself “how to become the person I want to be?”, first investigate your potential and your shortcomings. Do you have the skills and competencies to shape that future version of yourself? If so, recognize them and begin to develop them much more, work on them.

On the other hand, it is also important to identify your limits and shortcomings. We must free ourselves from all the masks we have hidden behind. By doing so, you may perceive an excess of fears and insecurities in yourself. Someone who has spent too much time waiting for recognition and validation from others needs time to heal, to strengthen internal values.

Awaken your psychological strengths

Your emotions, your thoughts and your actions must be in tune to achieve your purposes. Your entire being must be oriented towards those vital goals that for you guard your happiness. One way to achieve this, to perceive yourself as more valid and to achieve an optimal state of mind is to activating what psychologists Christopher Peterson and Martin Seligman defined in 2004 as psychological strengths.

These would be the most suitable for our purposes:

Enthusiasm: It is the engine of illusion, it is the energy that mobilizes thoughts towards the same purpose, combining creativity, self-confidence and also certain doses of optimism.Commitment: Developing a firm commitment to ourselves and our goals is the bridge to success.Meaning: Everything we do, think and feel must have a meaning, a purpose. Nothing we do should be by chance.Transcendence. Applying transcendence means having a purpose and wanting to aspire to excellence. This concept is related to that summit that Abraham Maslow told us about in his theory of human needs, the one in which one aspires to self-realization.

Accept your fears, they are part of the transformation process

Another decisive aspect on our path to becoming who we want to be is recognizing and accepting our fears. There is no point in hiding them or denying their presence. No one begins the most decisive adventure of their life without fears weighing on their backpack; They form, after all, an indisputable part of our essence, of what the human being is.

The key is to continue moving forward despite their presence, to take risks despite their trips, to jump over the walls that they put up for us to show us that it is possible to improve ourselves every day.

To become the person I want to be, I must choose the best path for me every day.

If I want to become the person I truly want to be, there is one aspect I must keep in mind. TOMoving forward, improving myself, transforming myself into a better version of myself requires knowing how to choose the best path every day. Thus, in case one day discouragement and frustration catch me, I must choose which mental state is better for me: defeatism or self-improvement?

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If another day I have two options before me, choose the easy path and adapt to what others expect of me or continue working alone on what I want, I must dare to decide, to think which is the best decision. We cannot ignore the fact that well-being and happiness require making decisions at every moment. Doing it with courage and connected to our desires, values and expectations will always be the best option. Let’s keep it in mind.