14 Reasons Why Insecure Men Always Come Back

Are you in a confusing relationship?

He tells you that he wants to be with you. But then she turns and leaves when it suits her. Only to return the following week, asking for forgiveness.

Or maybe they already broke up, but they insist on wanting to get back together.

You get dizzy not knowing if he really loves you.

And the back and forth game is mentally exhausting.

It’s like I don’t want to let you go.

But at the same time, he is not willing to fully commit to you. So why does he keep coming back if he behaves like this?

male insecurity

Self-confidence corresponds to everyone equally, it is something that we must build day by day.

Although there are men in whom their lack of security stands out.

And this affects their personal relationships.

According to the psychologist Silvia Cordero Encalada, the lack of masculine security,

“It depends on the self-image that man has from life experience and learning beliefs about himself and his context.”

That is, what he has experienced and how he perceives himself will determine his safety.

Have you had painful experiences in past relationships or are you afraid of commitment?

These characteristics can influence how he behaves with you.

And it may explain why he can’t bring himself to part with you entirely.

Or to commit to you 100%.

Here I will reveal to you what may be making him act confused with you.

Here are the top 14 reasons why you keep coming back

1) You feel lonely

Did they just break up or does he tell you that he doesn’t love you, but is still looking for your company?

You may find it hard to be alone.

Being alone and having no one to confide in causes mixed feelings. It can cause sadness, hopelessness, and more.

It is likely that every time he is away from you, these feelings will surface.

As a result, he seeks you out again and wants to spend time with you.

Let’s face it, why would he choose to be alone and have these feelings when he can come back to you whenever he wants?

It doesn’t make sense to him.

If you think about it, you may even be letting this happen for the same reason.

You also feel alone. Even if it is not love, the company is just what you are looking for.

2) You don’t know what you want

Sometimes it is true when it is said: It’s not you, it’s me.

We all have periods in our lives when there is a lot of confusion.

And it is normal not to understand or not to know what we want.

He may like you, a lot. But he only feels confused about her feelings.

So he walks away. But then she misses you and finds her way again.

No wonder you feel confused because he is too.

The problem is whether you can be patient and wait for it.

It’s not easy to wait for someone who doesn’t know what they want.

Since there is no guarantee that in the end he will choose you.

You run the risk of waiting in vain and wasting your time.

The best thing you can do is set a time limit and stick to it.

Decide now how many chances you are willing to give him.

That way you’ll know when to end the relationship, if necessary.

You have to know what you want and put it first. You are the priority.

3) It is possessive

Have you noticed that relationships can turn into mind games?

Some men can be quite possessive and consider you their property. Even if he’s not ready to commit to you, he doesn’t want anyone else to. That’s why he comes back again and again.

His jealousy or need for you to be only his can more.

He hates the idea of ​​you finding someone else and moving on without him.

So it just doesn’t give you the chance.

Think about the times he comes back.

Do you often step in when you meet someone new?

The reality is that you do not belong to him. It doesn’t matter what he wants you to think.

If he makes empty promises and refuses to commit one day, then throws himself back into your arms when you start moving on with someone else, then he’s not the man for you. He just thinks he is.

It’s time to tear down your ego and move on.

4) You feel ignored

If you’re apart and you decide to ignore it or distance yourself, he may not tolerate it.

And not necessarily because he can’t be alone.

According to a psychology-online article, it’s possibly a “reverse psychology” situation.

He assumes that you will always be there for him, so he ignores you.

He is in a position of power where he can have you whenever he wants.

But when you fear losing yourself or noticing a threatening situation, come back to you.

That is, when you ignore him, you are in a position of power, he will need to win you back.

Psychologists Amos Tversky and Daniel Kanheman talk about this in their aversion theory.

The theory indicates that,

“The rejection of the possibility of losing is superior to the desire to win.”

Although the theory explains monetary issues, it is also applicable to love situations.

Since by ignoring someone who is certain of “having you”, fear is awakened.

That is, the rejection of the possibility of losing you.

So he will try at any cost to get back with you.

5) You’ve been hurt before

He wants to move on and wants to be with you, but his heart won’t let him.

Every time he gets closer, he shuts down and ends up creating distance between the two of them.

Then he realizes what he’s missing and comes back for more.

You may not be quite over your ex.

And his feelings for her get in the way and keep him from being with you.

Or that he likes you, but is trying to protect himself in the process.

You may need to take it easy and allow him to work through his traumas.

It can also help to talk about it with him.

Assure him that you’re okay with the relationship moving forward at a pace that suits him.

It may be helpful for him to open up about what has happened in his past.

Maybe by talking about it you can help him get over it.

6) He is dating other people

Your guy may be seeing other people.

Not everyone believes that a relationship should be exclusive.

Although it is an important conversation that the two of you should have.

After all, you also have to agree.

If he doesn’t commit to you, it may be because he’s having fun playing the game.

Or, simply, he tends to have open relationships, and you don’t know it.

In that case, you have to decide if this is what you are looking for.

Many men just like the freedom to live their life the way they choose, without being tied to any one person in particular.

If you want a commitment, you may have to present him with an ultimatum.

It’s a real test to see if he’s willing to give up his freedom for you.

7) He is not interested in a relationship

Sometimes there are very deep fears that make you run away from commitments.

He’s not confused. He is not insecure about his feelings.

He likes spending time with you, but he just doesn’t want to commit.

This can be due to several reasons.

You could have a lot going on in your life right now.

Which means that he is not capable of giving quality time to a relationship.

Or maybe you are afraid of taking on these new emotions and don’t know how to deal with them.

Once again, you have a chance to stick around and see if this changes.

The ideal is to build a bond of trust to be able to show him that it is worth it.

8) You don’t want to risk your friendship

Were you friends before you got together?

If so, there is a chance that you are worried about ruining that friendship.

And despite his feelings for you, he doesn’t want to start a relationship between the two of you.

We all know it can be awkward if things don’t work out.

It can be much worse if you share mutual friends before you started the relationship.

It can help to talk openly about this issue and determine what you both want. Are they both willing to risk their friendship to give each other a chance?

9) You feel pressured

Nobody likes to be pressured into anything.

This often brings out fears and insecurities.

And although it may not seem like it to you, a relationship can be exactly that for him.

If you are forcing him to commit, then he may be running away out of fear.

His feelings for you will keep him coming back every time.

But the pressure will make him walk away again in no time.

Do you keep bringing it up over and over again?

Do you keep asking them to be exclusive or have a serious relationship?

You are probably feeling overwhelmed and unprepared.

This does not mean that he is not interested in you.

He just wants to take it easy and move forward on his terms. Give him space.

10) It’s just sex

Sex is just a physical act and does not have to involve feelings.

Your guy may not be interested in a relationship.

And just looking for a little casual fun.

How can you know exactly?

When he disappears and comes back into your life, the first thing he wants is to go to bed with you?

When you set up your next date, is it always at night and near someone’s house?

So he’s a man who only wants one thing from you. And he is getting it.

It’s time to take sex off the table and see what he really thinks of you.

If he likes you, then he’ll stay. If it was purely physical, you will have your answer.

11) gets bored

It may be a more superficial case of boredom that is driving your actions. He is not interested in a relationship.

But he does enjoy your company and killing time with you.

When he has other things going on in his life, then you won’t see him for a few weeks.

He is busy and happy.

But when things settle down again, he shows up at your door, ready to go.

If you like the guy, consider making him a friend.

This leaves you open to dating other men, but still hang out once in a while.

12) You want to separate completely

Breaking up with someone can be difficult for both of you.

Maybe your guy doesn’t know how to take this step with you.

He likes you, but not enough, and he doesn’t know how to leave you without hurting your feelings.

So he goes in and out of your life without committing to you.

It may be time to face him and show him what strength is.

Tell him he doesn’t have to worry about hurting your feelings, you can take it.

If you tell him like that, he may dare to confess his feelings for you.

13) He wants to continue in your life

We all know how difficult it can be to stay friends with your ex.

We like to think that we are the exception.

But then life gets in the way and reality gets complicated.

He may want to avoid it and may actually want to remain your friend.

His way of doing it is to stay in your life and maintain that connection.

He has no intention of the relationship moving forward.

But he doesn’t want to let you know for fear that you’ll kick him out of your life.

Now, you have a decision to make.

Are you willing to remain friends? If so, let him know that it’s okay.

But, if your feelings are strong, then it’s time to cut ties.

This way you will avoid getting hurt.

14) misses you

Not having you in his life may make him realize he misses you.

And when looking for you, he wants to check if the same thing is happening to you.

Surely he sends you messages, and wants to strike up casual conversations to hear from you.

It is up to you to decide if you want to distance yourself or take back what they had.

What to do if he doesn’t want a relationship?

When a man tells you that he doesn’t want a relationship, listen to him. He means it.

And it’s up to you to know if you want…