Why does a man want to go slow in a relationship?

Are you dating a new guy who seems a bit standoffish at times? Do you feel that he resists getting serious?

This doesn’t necessarily mean that you don’t have a real interest: it’s about understanding what’s really going on.

There are several key reasons why a man sometimes wants to take it easy. Even though he may be open to something serious with you.

First, let’s see what might be causing your reserved attitude.

Why does he want to take it easy if he really cares about you? Here are the 6 main reasons.

1) You don’t have much relationship experience

One of the most common reasons why a man wants to take it easy may be because he doesn’t have a lot of relationship experience.

He’s still finding his wings in love and he doesn’t want to fly too high, too fast, crash and burn.

You can appeal to your sympathetic side: if all this is new to him, he will move at a slower pace than you would expect.

2) First, he wants to get to know you better

Another one of the most important reasons why he may want to take it easy is to get to know you better.

Many people enter relationships without really knowing their partner.

And the truth is that in the early stages the other is more a mental elaboration of their own than reality.

In the future, this can turn into a nightmare when they realize they are incompatible, codependent, or bring out the worst in each other.

3) He doesn’t think you accept or love who he really is

Another reason why he may want to take it easy is that he is worried that he is not good enough for you.

Sonya Schwartz explains it well:

“The reality is that if a man is talking about taking it easy, it could be because he thinks he can’t satisfy your desires right now.”

This is one of the saddest reasons why a man takes it easy and there really isn’t much you can do.

You can support him and show him that he is good enough, but ultimately it is a certainty that he will have to find within himself by developing his own personal power.

4) He is too shy to show interest so soon

There are still shy guys out there who have trouble showing interest in a woman.

They may really want to be with you, but may be hesitant or shy about showing you that they want something serious too soon.

Maybe he doesn’t want to seem needy or desperate: maybe he thinks there aren’t enough signs that you really like him yet.

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6) He’s been hurt before and he’s being more careful this time

This reason is also very common. It is important to respect that some men have really had it bad and are very afraid that it will happen again.

For that reason, they take it easy and don’t want to get into another intense relationship that could go wrong and leave them broken.

“We can assume that someone wants to take it easy because they are not sure how they feel about you.

“This could be because they’ve hurt each other so much in the past, so they’re cautious, or it could be because they’re not 100% sure about you,” observes Forgetting Fairytales’ Ell.

Now any reason is valid to go slow. But surely what you also want to know at the end of the day is if he is interested in you or not.

11 signs to know if he is interested in you but wants to take things easy

1) You love dating, but you can’t bring yourself to take it to the next level

One of the main signs that he wants to take it easy is that he loves hanging out with you, but avoids the subject of being an official couple.

You know he’s not just there for the sex or to pass the time. He still doesn’t react well when you mention something about getting more serious.

The factually real thing here is that he’s interested in you, but he doesn’t want to rush into formalizing.

He wants to take things easy.

As Kristine Fellizar points out:

“Even someone who wants to take it easy will still have regular contact with you…

“That means they won’t disappear for days or ‘forget’ to return your texts or calls. Everyone is busy sometimes, but that’s not an excuse to completely disappear.”

2) Your communication is honest but sometimes not completely open

When a guy is not good for you or just trying to use you, he will often lie to you or cheat on you.

But when he really likes you and just wants to take it easy, he’ll be honest and tell you the truth about what’s going on with him.

The main difference is that you notice that he is not completely open.

There seems to be a part of him that is “hidden” or behind a veil in some way.

It may be that he excludes you from some matters, but it may also be that he just wants to take it easy and not reveal all its mysteries instantly.

3) It is constant but not frequent

Here the important sign that you should observe is if there is a constancy in their communication.

Maybe I write to you once a week instead of three as you would like. Or it even takes a little more time.

But if he doesn’t completely disappear without a trace, there’s still a chance he’s just an interested guy who wants to take it easy.

4) He includes you in his life even if he is not ready to be exclusive

When a guy isn’t really interested in you, you’ll notice. He will call you late at night or after a party and his behavior will be fickle.

But when he likes you and just wants to take it easy, he will go out of his way to include you in his life.

While he may not want to introduce you as his partner or girlfriend, he will be more than happy to introduce you to his friends and the people he cares about.

Or as Samantha Ann writes:

“He may not invite you to his family gathering, but he won’t avoid others when he’s with you.”

5) He says he wants something serious with you, but not yet

This sign is good because, unless it’s lying, it tells you everything you need to know.

When he tells you that he wants to take it easy and that a relationship is a possibility, just not yet, then you know what’s going on.

The best way to know if he is telling the truth is as follows:

Does he make constant eye contact and explain it in a genuine and normal way? Is your behavior consistent with being in a relationship or is it more consistent with being a friend with benefits? Does he show you signs that they are slowly becoming more serious? Or does it just freeze in one state and never move on from there?

6) He tells you that his past relationship went too fast, crashed and went bankrupt

Another major sign that he wants to take it easy is that he tells you about a past relationship that went too fast and it all fell apart.

The euphoria of passion can make people lose their minds and plunge into things that later turn out to be an epic disaster.

If he’s experienced that, it’s probably still on his mind, and in his heart, in a pretty real way. After all, there are wounds that take time to heal.

If this is the case, here is an article that may interest you: “How a man hurt by a woman acts”

So when he tells you about a past relationship that was a disaster, keep in mind that this could be a big sign that he can’t get serious with you yet.

“If he has shown an interest in connecting with you on a deeper level, this man may be longing for a better relationship than the last,” writes Linda Ojuks.

“Maybe your past relationship didn’t work out because it started in a hurry.”

7) He is really into you, but also wants a lot of alone time

Another of the strongest signs that you want to take it easy is that you need a lot of alone time.

It can be hard for you not to take it personally. But it’s important to have a little patience if you want to have a chance of taking this to the next level.

A guy who wants to take it easy may need a lot of time with his friends or alone.

It’s just his way of being a man, and it’s not necessarily a bad thing.

It’s about being understanding and giving her space. Here the key is that you also focus on your own times and activities. Enjoy your life and when you meet it will be more valuable for both of you.

8) You can trust him and know he’s interested even if he holds back a bit

One of the biggest signs that he wants to take it easy but is actually interested in you is that he is there when you need him.

Even if he’s still not comfortable being a serious partner, he’s always there for you when you need him.

He is a trustworthy and caring man when you are going through a difficult time. Even if you only need a helping hand and his hero instinct is clearly triggered by you.

This is definitely a great sign.

As marriage therapist David Klow puts it:

“The basic qualities of reliability and loyalty are still there in his composition, even if he isn’t ready to spend a whole weekend with you after three months.

“Measuring your ability to stay present could indicate where your heart is.”

9) You still want the freedom to date other people

These days, people have all kinds of different values ​​and priorities in a relationship.

But unless you’re looking for an open relationship, chances are you’re hoping he’ll at least be exclusive with you.

The problem is that you have to know what he wants too.

And if he still wants to date other people and doesn’t get serious with you, it’s a sign that he wants to take it easy.

However, this does not necessarily mean that he is a womanizer.

But at least it means that you should give him a little more time to understand if you’re both looking for the same thing.

As Eric Charles brilliantly puts it:

“In the cases of people I’ve met who started casually and ended up in a relationship, they wanted to be sure.

“And they felt like the only way they could be was if they had complete freedom and choice when deciding who they wanted to be with…”

If you’re still very confused…