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How to overcome sexual blocks

Sexual blocks are frustrating and often affect relationships. Here are some keys to enjoying sex again.

Experts say that modern culture lives a “bipolar” relationship with respect to sex. Sexuality is present in all areas of life, from cinema to advertising, through television, music, etc. But, at the same time, there are circumstances that lead to sexual blocks.

Sex is no longer taboo, but it is also true that we are told that we are not allowed to enjoy it as we want. So, There are people who see sex as something “fun”, but at the same time “bad.” It is understandable that they have this problem and, at the same time, experience a great contradiction.

If we add to that the teaching that was taught until not long ago in relation to sexuality or religious beliefs, it is most likely that we will not be clear about what is good and what is not. We need to spend time examining how we get along with sex in general. and, at the same time, in the particular. That is, with our partner or past experiences.

Facing sexual blocks

It is natural to have an intimate relationship with yourself and, at the same time, with a boyfriend, a wife, a lover, etc. It is good for both mental and physical health because, without a doubt, Sex is part of our lives in a very powerful way.

It is an energy that revitalizes, there is no doubt about that. Many people avoid having sex because they see it as something negative, that it is wrong. However, Sexual blocks are mental, not physical, and that is where you have to “attack.”

Sex is vital energy that must be channeled and enjoyed. If you think it is a sin or that it is not right, you must begin to unravel the knots or tangles that you have in your mind, no matter how strong this may sound. It doesn’t mean that it is an obligation to think in a certain way about sex, but at least, It is important to realize the origin of this denial of this intimate activity.

“Sex is one of the nine reasons for reincarnation… The other eight are not important.”

-Henry Miller-

Guidelines to end sexual blocks

There are areas that require objective observation and study in relation to sexual blocks. Treating these aspects will allow you to open up to the sexual experience.

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1. Heal past traumas

Maybe one thinks about rape or sexual abuse, but it is not necessary to go to that extreme to have trauma or experience sexual blocks. Any negative experience can create an attitude defensive or armor. That armor must be removed because the person’s true nature is beneath it, buried with the remains of that problem.

It may be that you saw something as a child, an ex-partner who disparaged sexual performance, a very strict upbringing, religion, etc. There are many ways to heal these problems, such as therapy or coaching..

2. Examine the belief system

As said before, Today’s culture constantly bombards us with contradictory messages regarding sex.. Without a doubt, advertising or television are two of the greatest sources of information for a person, which generates irrational judgments and condemnations about sexuality, based on images or sensations created by others.

You need to ask yourself how you feel having sex, how you think you should feel or what conditions you to act in a certain way. It is up to you to choose and recreate those sites to extract information.

Create your own sexual manifesto detailing all the things you would like to be present for a “perfect” intimate relationship.

3. Let go of prejudices

Leaving aside prejudices is the key to overcoming sexual blocks. It is really difficult for us to enjoy and enjoy any encounter if we cling to certain prejudices that do not allow us to live the sexual experience with joy.

We must leave our irrational beliefs aside, since various research published in The Journal of Sexual Medicine and in the Social and Personality Psychology Compass maintains that sex is beneficial for both our physical and mental health.

4. Go inside

With meditation, for example, we can reach the deepest corners of our heart and mind.. It is ideal for discovering what problem we have in relation to sex or intimacy. It is, without a doubt, a wonderful tool that will take you on a very enriching journey, because you will also be able to learn about other personal aspects that you didn’t even know existed.

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Connect with your interior and let all the bad things come out so that only the positive things come in. Every day spend a few minutes meditating, it can be sitting in the lotus position or walking through a park in silence, without paying attention to what is happening around you.

The practice of mindfulness It can bring great benefit in sexual practice, since it is about being present in the here and now without judging any thoughts, so we leave behind possible fears and complexes. Thus, We fully attend to the present sexual practice and do not allow ourselves to be influenced by any dysfunctional thoughts.
Jon Kabat-Zinnconsidered a world reference in this technique, assures that «we are not our thoughts » and “ we create our own suffering unnecessarily ». This information is vitally important to overcome those thoughts that block us. Therefore, the practice of mindfulness can bring us great benefit in our sexual life.

5. Practice yoga

The effect is very similar to meditation. This ancient practice opens one’s own energy flow, the hips and heart expand, according to the teachers. Both tools to have intimacy. In turn, it will expand the capacity to love, receive and give pleasure. Yoga will go directly to blocked or difficult to access areas, that is, where the tension is stored and will help you release it little by little. Additionally, it could improve sexual satisfaction.

With regular practice your body will be closer to liberation, as will your mind. You can take the opportunity to work on the elasticity and elongation of the muscles, which will give you more freedom and tranquility at the time of sexual intercourse, for example. In turn, you will be cultivating a peaceful practice, a way of being authentic and not getting carried away by what others say.

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6. Communicate with the other person

Many sexual couples choose to minimize communication during sex, there are even those who do not say a word at all. However, a study published in the Journal of Social and Personal Relationships and the Journal of sex & marital therapy indicates that Verbal and non-verbal communication have positive impacts when labeling sex as satisfactory.

7. Involves whoever has sex with you

Sex is not a solitary activity. The attitude of everyone involved in the activity is relevant and influences others. If you are suffering from a sexual block, It is necessary that those who accompany you during sex make things easier for you and create a safe environment for you.

8. Regulate expectations

Another way to overcome sexual blocks is adjust unrealistic expectations. Cinema, adult films, television, and advertising continually establish expectations about sex that exceed people’s daily reality.

9. Forget that you will be criticized

Many people have such high expectations during sex that they fear being judged or permanently rejected. This does not make the person feel pressured and adds a great weight on top of them that can translate into sexual blocks.

10. Strengthen self-esteem

Research indicates that Self-esteem is an important factor in achieving sexual satisfaction. Therefore, working on strengthening it, on self-love, is necessary to overcome and leave behind those sexual blocks that prevent living a satisfactory sexual experience as a couple.

11. Keep an open mind to trying different things

Many times, The sexual block is based on the stubbornness to achieve certain objectives, such as postures or techniques.. The frustration of not achieving it feeds on itself and prevents progress towards unlocking.

Therefore, do not close yourself to trying new things: positions, places, toys, practices and the long etcetera that is the rich world of sex. Maybe you will find something that you like and help you free yourself, and you can use that liberation to completely unlock yourself.

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