Side Symptom Benefit: What is it and how does it prevent you from moving forward?

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Every psychological disorder entails great suffering. However, it also brings with it a series of gains that, at times, act as a brake or obstacle to change.

Written and verified by the psychologist Elena Sanz.

Have you ever wondered how it is possible for people to sabotage our own progress and improvement? Surely at some point you have encountered a friend or family member who, even knowing what they should do to feel better, was not able to put these measures into practice. Perhaps you have even fallen into this behavior yourself. It is due to the secondary benefit of the symptom.

For example, if I am afraid of driving, I know that the way is to gradually face the fear. I know that the anxiety will decrease as I practice and I am convinced that the longer I leave it, the harder it will be to deal with it. Still, I feel unable to do so and I continue to avoid taking the car.

From a logical and conscious point of view, this does not seem to make much sense: I am limiting my own independence. However, The unconscious handles a large majority of the information we process and that we do not clearly perceive. It is he who decides that the secondary benefit that the problem brings me is worth it. And therefore, it is better not to change.

What is the secondary benefit of the symptom?

The secondary benefit of the symptom refers to all the gains or advantages that the patient receives due to their condition.. And that, otherwise, I could not obtain. This includes financial benefits, social support and care, or release from responsibilities.

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Every illness, physical or psychological, entails suffering. In many cases serious and hard to bear. But, at the same time, it also brings a series of benefits.

For example, When we catch the flu, the people around us look after us, care for us and treat us with more affection.. When you suffer from a social phobia, you avoid going to meetings or interacting with others, you avoid having to expose yourself to other people’s judgment. Or when you suffer from depression you receive the attention and concern of the people around you.

Evidently, The suffering that comes with any of these disorders is far greater than the benefits. No one would consciously choose to keep them (no matter how many advantages they gained from them). However, the phenomenon of the secondary benefit of the symptom acts at an unconscious level, stopping your attempts to progress.

How does it prevent you from moving forward?

Facing a psychological disorder requires courage, strength and will. It is not easy to dare to look inside ourselves and change patterns that have been with us for a long time.

It is even more complicated when We realize that changing will not only mean facing challenges for which we do not feel prepared, but will also entail the loss of certain advantages. important to us.

If I face my fear of driving, I will expose myself to having an accident, being scolded by other drivers, and suffering from the anxiety it causes.. But, also, I will lose the opportunity for other people to take me, accompany me and pay attention to me.

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When I decide to work on my social anxiety I will have no choice but to interact with other people, talk to strangers, go to meetings and do all the activities that terrify me. I will be exposed to social judgment and will have to face unfavorable comments and opinions from other people. I will no longer have the excuse that my social anxiety provided me to avoid these situations..

Likewise, in my recovery from depression I will have to face painful aspects and change my patterns of thinking and behavior. But also, I will lose the special attention and extra affection I receive from my loved ones.

How to address the secondary benefit of the symptom?

Given this unconscious reasoning, it is understandable that we find ourselves unable to progress in change. Thus It is essential that we detect this type of thinking and prevent it from sabotaging us.. When we are going to embark on a process of psychotherapy or personal development, we must identify from the beginning which are the benefits that “we are going to lose.” And, from there, become aware that recovery more than compensates us.

It is also necessary to inform the people around us, so that their behavior does not contribute to reinforcing the problem. If they give us support while we are bad and withdraw it when we try to recover, the “punishment” of the change can prevent it from occurring. You must be aware that our greatest benefit will come from your supporting our attempts to recover.