The language of sarcasm: covert verbal attacks

Often, There is no shortage of those who defend the claim that people who use sarcasm are more intelligent, more agile and brilliant in the mastery of words. However, this form of wit is sometimes loaded with poison, with an artillery of covert aggression and subtle contempt that disconcerts and destroys self-esteem.

Sarcasm as a form of communication has many followers and followers. For example, we can see it in several television series, where its protagonists show a privileged, exceptional and instantly inspiring mind, capable of solving countless criminal enigmas and medical challenges. However, these characters are also characterized by a type of biting language, seasoned by certain doses of contempt mixed with great gifts of sarcasm.

We have to be clear, This type of satirical but witty language is clearly detrimental to effective communication.. Sometimes, there is not only clear contempt, many times there is a clear inability to establish a neutral dialogue, a harmonious exchange of messages where it does not lead to mockery as a way of expressing power or dominance.

On the other hand, there is an aspect that should not be neglected. Sarcasm is more common among people who maintain a relationship of trust, such as co-workers, our family members or even our partners. A fact that further intensifies the wearing and sharp effect of this dimension.

Intellectual “bullies” and their favorite weapon: sarcasm

There is a type of aggression for which there is greater leniency, we are talking about sarcasm. These types of attacks, as common as they are permitted, occur above all in our adult world, in our work environments and, specifically, in those private spaces where the aforementioned dynamics are contained: those of a couple, family and even friendship.

According to him Bully Types Ranking from 2010, intellectual bullies specialize in condescension. They are profiles that camouflage their insecurities through big words and arrogant phrases. In turn, they enjoy making others feel inferior under the clear belief that they are smarter, more skilled and, of course, brilliant.

Thus, studies such as those carried out by Dr. Raymond Gibbs, published in the Journal of Experimental Psychology, they point out to us that sarcastic sentences are very common in our language. So much so that we are not aware of its impact.

At first, there are those who are unable to see in this act a form of intimidation or contempt.. One ends up smiling at the wit and the subtle play on words, admiring such a linguistic trick. However, when the intellectual bully persists every day in his verbal artillery, things not only change, but have serious consequences.

Consequences of sarcastic sentences

The first consequence of attacks through sarcasm is the violation of the relational bond with that person. It is an attack on the self-esteem of the other, it is an aggression and a “bullying” constant and relentless.

The second aspect, as interesting as it is devastating at the same time, is discovering that the master of sarcasm is rarely aware of his behavior or his intimidating acts. These personalities often camouflage a clear interpersonal or social insensitivity.

They present, so to speak, an emotional dullness where the only thing they seek at every moment is to impose their intellectual dexterity, their ability to speak and their wit. They do it because those are the only tools that the sarcastic person has to reaffirm themselves as a person.

Three ways to deal with attacks with sarcasm

We may all be captivated by the subtle verbal wit of characters like Sherlock Holmes. However, beyond a brilliant mind and a wonderfully gifted brain, there must also be a close, empathetic and respectful person. Because The wit of a phrase does not matter if the message it conveys is harmful.

These types of dynamics and verbal attacks through sarcasm can be seen many times at those dinners with friends.. There is usually, for example, that couple (whether man or woman) who drops a sarcastic and witty comment about the spouse that instantly provokes laughter from the entire table, except from the victim himself.

Somehow, They are all complicit in that covert aggression, in that camouflaged contempt. before which we must be more attentive to set limits. To stop them. We explain how.

How to defend yourself from the sarcastic person

The first recommendation is simple and basic: We will not assume a passive attitude towards sarcasm. Nor is it about reacting with anger, initiating an unhelpful affront. We cannot forget that, generally, we are dealing with a person who is very skilled with words, but poor with emotions, and that is where we have our advantage.

The first thing we will do is express calmly that the comment did not sit well with us.Demands literality. The sarcastic has a master in metaphors and the most sinister ironies. Don’t accept them, demand that it be literal. Mature people transmit courage and clarity in words, insecure people camouflage themselves in word games.Explain to the intellectual bully the effects of his behavior. If it is our co-worker or a friend, we must make it clear that it does not make us feel good and that if they do not show more kindness or closeness we will opt for distance.

Other strategies to deal with sarcasm

There are other valid ways to respond to sarcastic comments. Here are some examples:

Ignore. It is about ignoring the phrase, as if the other person had not pronounced it, which would be foolish words, deaf ears. This way you will show your interlocutor that he does not have the capacity to anger you.Point out the reasons. If someone has used a sarcastic comment in front of others to make themselves look better, you can simply point out their reason, preferably in the form of a question. For example, you can say, “Are you saying that to try to sound smarter?” By unmasking his intentions you make it clear to him that he should not repeat it.

On the other hand, if the craftsman of sarcasm is our partner, we will talk about the pain that his verbal attacks cause us and that This continuous attack on our self-esteem is not a reflection of sincere love., neither logical, nor conscious nor mature. Always remember that sarcasm and intellectual aggressors do not deserve to be fed with admiration, but rather cut off with the truth of what their actions cause.

The importance of maintaining emotional balance in the face of sarcasm

A study conducted at Michigan State University found that incivility spreads. These researchers appreciated that When people were the target of sarcastic comments, they wasted much of their mental energy trying to interpret the interlocutor’s intentions.

In the end, this mental fatigue took its toll on them, so they had more difficulty controlling their impulses and managing their emotions. As a result, they were more likely to return the verbal attack, since they did not have the self-control necessary to assertively manage their emotional state.

That is why knowing how to identify these dynamics and intentions is key when managing them. Once they automatically stand out in the conversation, you will be much more able to implement strategies to avoid them effortlessly. And, remember, expressing something that bothers you should always be done head-on and being constructive, not from behind the shield of sarcasm.

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