How To End a Relationship |

In the audio below, energy therapist Ceci-Akamatsu compares her love life with her health. Through this simple metaphor, the expert explains how to identify whether it is worth continuing to invest in a relationship and teaches you exercises to strengthen yourself internally, regardless of what your decision is.

To find out whether a love relationship is doing you more good or harm, try comparing it with your health. Just think about the following: it is natural for us to be healthy most of the time, until eventually an illness comes along that forces us to seek recovery.

Never the opposite, that is, no one expects to be sick all the time, to live one or another healthy moment.

In the affective life it is the same thing. Crises in a relationship (as well as illnesses in life) are normal. But, if we live in a relationship expecting to have just a few crumbs of happiness, it is a sign that everything that is negative and hurts us has become a rule, not an exception. When we reach this level, the questioning is really important: is it worth keeping the affective bond?

Courage to end a relationship must be exercised like weight training

It may be that the person reaches this point and, even so, decides to continue the relationship – and there is no right or wrong in this decision – but it is important to understand what your limitations are, what you bet on and manage to face.

Many times, we realize that it’s time to end the relationship, but we can’t. And this is also an exercise.

For example, you might want to lift 100 kg now, but if you’re not strong enough for that, you’ll need to do strength training in order to prepare yourself to lift this weight. Courage in feelings works the same way.

So, it’s important that at that moment, when you already know you’re emotionally fragile, you start doing work to strengthen yourself internally. Now more than ever, your personal power and self-respect will matter.

I’ve provided a question-and-answer test here to help you discover which pains and fears may be getting in the way of your personal power and self-esteem, as well as guidelines for keeping them more balanced.

How to strengthen yourself to end a relationship?

It is worth emphasizing that there is no rule for each one to take care of themselves and strengthen themselves. Often therapeutic help is needed to help the person deal with this moment, other times some meditative activities alone already help (listen here to some Guided Meditations that may be useful at your moment).

on the physical levelyou can try to do things to feel good, eating your favorite dessert or taking care of your appearance, for example.

On an emotional and mental level, surrounding yourself with nice people, avoiding environments or news that are harmful. Of course, we often have a day-to-day life that demands a lot mentally or emotionally, but the idea is that you manage, as much as possible, to create new scenarios and learn to choose better, with more care and awareness, what you want for yourself same.

For exampleif we are in a difficult moment, we don’t need to watch a lot of drama movies or soap operas, because that will make our moment even more “heavy”, since they “pull” what is heaviest in human beings.

Like it or not, all of this works as if it were physical food, without us realizing it. So, this preoccupation with our food at the subtle levels is also very important, as they help our inner strength.

I decided to insist on the relationship. What can I do to overcome difficulties?

If you realized that the relationship is worth insisting on, the first piece of advice is to try to strengthen yourself within it. But this strengthening will be individual, first of all, because it is from him that he will be able to act in the relationship.

Not forgetting, of course, to also maintain attention in the interaction with the partner. And this is done through agreements, as communication is the main point in the issue of conciliation and the work of the relationship. So, establish a space for loving, clean, sincere communication and, above all, train your ability to listen to the other without having a defensive attitude.

Establish a space for loving, clean, sincere communication and, above all, train your ability to listen to the other without having a defensive attitude.

Try, too, to speak the truth with as much love as possible, without wanting to offend the other.

Creating this communication space is difficult, it’s a challenge, it’s training. In some hours one will slip, in others it will be the other who makes a slip. You need a lot of patience, always remembering that you are taking care of something very precious, which is your relationship with the person you love. So, “pull in” that love the moment the situation gets too tough, and use it as a driving force. This is also training, as sometimes it is difficult to remember this exercise at the time of difficulty.

It takes a lot of attention, awareness and presence in this sense. Ask yourself: “What am I actually doing? Am I realizing what is happening here and now? What energy is driving me?”

For a relationship to be healthy, the most important thing is to always bring love into your everyday life, this must be the driving force of any action or reception. In the case of communication, for example, we need to have a lot of love when talking to the other, even if he has said something negative or something that displeases us.

At this time, choose to think: “this hit me, it brought a negative feeling, but I will not feed this energy anymore”. Thus, you will be using the energy and strength of love to improve the relationship with the one you love.