How life changes after the death of a child

How does life change after the death of a child? Few questions are more complex to answer, few sufferings are more stark (and unnatural) than that journey that many mothers and fathers are forced to go through. Incomprehension, anger, confusion, rejection, despair… The emotions that emerge in these experiences are as sharp as they are traumatic. No one emerges unscathed from these adverse experiences.

It is clear that life will never be the same after this type of loss.. They are often unexpected deaths, those that violate the order of things and that one could never have imagined.. And yet they happen every day.

No one is prepared for a similar experience and therefore, from the psychological field, we know that this is one of the most complicated duels. The risk of leading to some type of disorder is common, to the point that in many cases health problems may even arise.

Something we must know is that this death will not be forgotten. That void will always be present. However, we can integrate that fact so that it hurts much lessso that it allows us to breathe again and, above all, to live again, giving way to another stage.

This is how life changes after the death of a child

Each loss of a child is unique. In recent years, for example, a historically forgotten type of suffering has begun to become visible, such as perinatal losses. The death of a child during pregnancy and not carried to term can also be traumatic. Likewise, the experience of the child who falls ill and who, finally, ends up leaving us, is also experienced in a particular way.

Young children, adolescents or young adults who lose their lives early; Each mourning for the death of a child is different and very personal.. Often, not even the parents themselves experience it in the same way and this can sometimes cause distance between the couple themselves.

There are many factors that trace, outline and erode this type of reality. Let us therefore see how life changes after the death of a child.

A loss that always takes its toll physically and psychologically

The emotional trauma of losing a child is intense and often long-lasting. It is very common to trigger different psychological problems such as depression, anxietyfeelings of guilt and even suicidal thoughts.

The months after your own loss are decisive, hence the importance of receiving specialized help. There are professionals who can accompany us through this period with greater temperance.

On the other hand, there is a fact that we must consider. The impact of the death of a child is more serious in elderly parents. Studies such as those carried out at the University of Tel Aviv (Israel) indicate that, although the results are not yet completely conclusive, it is clear that these experiences can reduce the life expectancy of parents, especially if they are elderly.

We must redefine the meaning of life

If we wonder how life changes after the death of a child, there is a fact that explains it. Life stops having meaning, purpose, consistency. Everything collapses after the loss of that being who leaves us in an unnatural, unexpected way. The projects themselves, the future perspectives and even the present become blurred and collapse.

In that way, Something parents are obligated to do is redefine their purposes and find new meanings.. This is a slow, delicate process with numerous ups and downs. However, in the end there comes a time when pain stops being that existential epicenter and allows us to once again direct our gaze and heart toward new goals. But without losing love for those who are no longer here.

We must “decide” how to remember the lost son

The experience of the death of a child is usually experienced with a feeling of guilt. It is common for parents to feel that they could have done more, that certain things that happened were their responsibility, etc. This mental approach does not help, but rather makes the grief even more chronic.

Although it may sound contradictory, we must decide how to remember that loved person. We have two options: feed the memory focused on pain, suffering, images of their last days or do it another way. The most appropriate thing is to honor the memory of our son. The mind must find refuge in the best moments of that child or that young person.

Your hobbies, your tastes, passions and achievements should be those seats in which to rest your heart to dull the pain. A memory that focuses on the best of those who are no longer here will allow us to live better.

How life changes after the death of a child: learning to live with sadness without neglecting others

The wound caused by the death of a child does not heal, the reality is that; but it is assimilated and we can learn to live with said loss. It is true that no one is prepared for it, that society itself does not even have a name for those who lose that person whom they have given birth to or raised with unbreakable love. Whoever loses his or her spouse is a widow or widower, but… what about this type of death that is so out of the ordinary?

There are many who improvise, who try to resist in desperation, living with sadness and going through grief in their own way. The most decisive thing, despite the harshness of the experience, is not to forget those around us. If there are more children, it is necessary to focus on them. We cannot neglect our partner and even less so, ourselves.

Recovering, strengthening your spirit and finding new existential meanings is key to being able to continue living…

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