The only way to change your reality is to understand how you create it

Our thoughts greatly determine our state of mental health. The practice of certain habits of thought and resistance to change originate our reality. There is a reality outside of us, and we don’t really interact with it. The only reality we truly live with is a simulation created by our brain through our thoughts, which can be more or less close to external reality.

In theory, the less biased our thoughts are, the closer we will get to certainty. The problem comes when we have been educated in generalizations, prejudices and dichotomies that make us distance ourselves from what is real. Thinking is like breathing, we do it without realizing it, but we cannot believe everything we think.

Human beings have thoughts that do not correspond to the reality of the moment or the situation: These thoughts are called distorted or irrational thoughts. They are ideas that come to our heads and that prevent us from seeing the ultimate reality of things and that tend to lead us into error, and that influences largely and directly on our emotional state.

Interpretations of reality are what lead us to be stable or unstable people on an emotional level, more than reality itself. What we think about ourselves and our experience is what really generates our problems. anxiety and/or depression, so prevalent in the first world, and not the situation itself. Two people faced with the same situation can experience and understand it differently, showing that reality is ultimately created by our thoughts.

If you want to change your reality, change your thoughts

Psychology bases part of its therapies on the replacement of irrational thoughts with others that better fit real events. Learning how to transform irrational thoughts into rational thoughts is the main axis of thinking adjusted to reality. People who are able to modify these thoughts can have great control over their emotions. and be able to make better decisions.

One of the techniques most used clinically to change maladjusted thoughts is debate, where the patient is taught to modify their beliefs through questions formulated by rational parameters, until they are able to generate a much more adaptive alternative thought. The objective is that in the end the patient is able to replace or correct his thoughts in an autonomous way.

Even if the circumstances are complex, such as those that may arise around a layoff or a breakup, these situations are not going to improve no matter how much we ruminate on them. In many difficult situations, our margin of action lies more in intervening on our thoughts than in simply changing your reality.

How to think in a healthy and rational way?

Events don’t cause problems emotional and behavioral, but rather these are caused by the beliefs that underlie the interpretations of these problems. One of the basic aspects to highlight is the distinction between rational beliefs and irrational beliefs.

To reflect rationally is to think in a relativistic way, expressing themselves in terms of desires and tastes (I would like, I would prefer, I wish…). When people think in a healthy way, even when they do not get what they want, the negative feelings that these situations generate do not prevent the achievement of new goals or purposes.

On the contrary, either Thinking in a dogmatic and absolutist way makes us express ourselves in terms of obligation, necessity or demand (I have to, I must, I am obliged). Its non-achievement causes inappropriate negative emotions (depression, guilt, anger, anxiety, fear) that interfere with the achievement of objectives and generate behavioral alterations such as isolation, avoidance or escape behavior and the abuse of toxic substances.

Considerations to take into account if you want to change your reality

Although it is true that the way we process reality directly affects thinking and emotions, not everyone benefits from rational emotive therapy, like that of Albert Ellis. If you find yourself at a point in your life in which your reality surpasses you, the best thing you can do is go to a psychology professional. so that I can apply the psychotherapeutic technique that best suits your problem and your coping styles. Remember that mental health is a path that is never traveled alone.