When we have greater complicity with a friendship than with our partner

Sometimes, we develop greater complicity with a friendship than with our partner.. Almost without knowing how, we may find ourselves sharing thoughts or dreams that our partner is unaware of. This is something that can contradict us, and even worry us. However, it is a frequent phenomenon.

At first glance, this does not have to be bad or evidence of a decline in the relationship itself. Not while there continues to be intimacy, love and trust in the emotional bond itself. Because, in the end, People tend to diversify what we give and expect to receive from others.. Likewise, there is something that we cannot ignore.

When a friendship relationship is meaningful, strata of connection, honesty and complicity are reached so deep that they can surpass those of our life partners. We insist, This does not have to create antagonisms between one bond and another. In reality, we enjoy a richness in relational matters that is undoubtedly a great benefit at all levels.

We analyze it.

In relationships, there is more than just complicity: there is also sexual and emotional intimacy.

Friendships and loves: intense ties, different ties

Many times, when we fall in love with someone, we already have a group of friends. It is evident that this bond of trust and closeness is not going to be broken just by starting a relationship. We combine it, it is still present and, more importantly, it continues to be our daily support.

On the other hand, the most common thing is not to have greater complicity with a friendship than with a partner, but in reality we develop other types of complicity. That is to say, What we look for and expect from a friend is not the same as what we expect and offer to the loved one.. And that is where the key is, knowing in which emotional territories we move.

There will be certain aspects that we feel more comfortable sharing with a friend.. And this does not have to be punishable. It is part of the quality of those social bonds that we create with people. With some we will establish a type of dynamics different from others, and it is in this variety where we weave such nutritious and essential psychological supports.

Different complicities, but equally relevant

It’s true. Sometimes, we develop greater complicity with a friendship than with a partner. However, we insist, it is most likely that the complicity generated with our best friend was quite similar in qualities to the one we have with the loved one.

We analyze it.

Complicity in the couple

It is true that it is always enriching to see our partner as our best friend. However, it is not the same. There will always be nuances, particularities and emotional tonalities that cause clear distances.

Complicity with our partner is combined with the always necessary area of ​​intimacy. Research from the University of Stellenbosch, South Africa, for example, reveals something important. Intimacy is the core of any satisfactory emotional relationship. It includes everything from physical and sexual closeness to connection in values, common goals and emotions.The complicity built with the couple is based on a commitment of two people who are interdependent.. That is, there is a basis of attachment that makes one dependent on the other.

Complicity in our friendships

While in an emotional relationship the cornerstone is the commitment of one another, in friendship this element loses strength. We value trust, honesty, sincerity, understanding, etc. in a friend. In addition, There is no type of interdependence, everyone is free to have their own life. without having to explain to their respective friends.

The complicity that is created with a friendship is more free and spontaneous. And this is, perhaps, what we appreciate most. It is a relational fabric with fewer commitments and, therefore, there is another type of dynamic. There is less emotional pressure and you travel through a freer territory for other types of confidences.

Our partner must understand that it is normal to have friends with whom we also share our thoughts.

When we have greater complicity with a friendship than with our partner and problems arise

At what point can the complicity aspect of a friendship become a problem? Basically, in two very specific situations. It may be the case that our partner feels upset by the relationship we have with our friends.. There are those who perceive themselves displaced and even become angry when they think that we share more intimate aspects with these figures.

It is important to clarify one aspect. The loved one He will never be that person with whom we want to share absolutely everything.. There will always be areas and experiences that we reserve for ourselves. Also for friends and our family. And this does not have to be an attack on that relationship. On the contrary, it can enrich it because it completes us as human beings.

Likewise, there is another no less relevant fact. We can have excellent daily accomplices in our friends, but it is advisable not to lose intimacy with our partner.. That most private sphere, belonging only to the two of us, cannot be fractured. Nor be replaced by other figures. Because if we lose this, we lose everything.

Therefore, we must be good artisans of this dimension, of this fabric that is so magical and nutritious in every sense. It is good to have confidants in the area of ​​friendship, but if the precious stone of intimacy is not present in love, we will feel quite alone.

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