Why doesn’t my son have friends? Keys to help you

Emotional independence is one of the most valuable lessons we can pass on to our children. That is, they must be their own emotional center and not develop harmful dependencies or attachments. However, Humans are social beings and we need others.. Therefore, if your child does not have friends, it is important that you identify the causes and help them reverse this situation.

Friends are important agents of socialization during childhood and adolescence, andespecially in this last stage. Being part of a group, feeling integrated and developing a sense of belonging is essential for correct psychological development.

For the same reason, a child who lives isolated, who experiences rejection or indifference from his peers, will develop serious emotional wounds. To prevent this from happening, it is necessary to give him personal tools that allow him to relate properly. We show you how to do it.

Why doesn’t my son have friends?

There are different reasons why a child or adolescent may find themselves without friends. And although it is necessary to resolve the cause, it is also It is important to remember that this situation does not have to be permanent.

Being labeled a lonely child can hurt him a lot, especially when it’s a situation he doesn’t want. So, what could be happening to cause this sequence of events to occur?

Shyness

Shyness is one of the main reasons why children fail to establish friendships. Some infants are born with a more inhibited temperament that prevents them from taking the initiative. and makes them withdrawn and reticent in contact with strangers.

Thus, if the child does not feel confident in the group, he may tend to remain silent and not interact with the rest, a detail that will hinder his social approach initiatives.

Lack of social skills

Relating to other people is an art, a skill that we acquire during the first years of life and continue to perfect. For the same reason, if a child presents a lack of social skills compared to her normative group, she may experience rejection from others, hide and even further delay her evolution in this dimension. Let us not forget that the best field to improve in this sense is the social environment itself.

Starting conversations, respecting the turn to speak, modulating the tone of voice, listening to others or expressing their own opinions are challenges that children have to gradually begin to master. As we say, a deficit in this dimension can cut its evolution short, giving way to a circle of isolation and “social awkwardness” that feeds on itself.

Bad past experiences

Previous experiences have a great influence on the attitude that children adopt when facing new social interactions. Therefore, as they experience situations of rejection or isolation, establishing relationships with others becomes more difficult.

The role he occupies in the family, the treatment he receives from those closest to him and the result of previous attempts to socialize mark subsequent interactions to a certain extent.

Low self-esteem

In relation to the above, minors who have not managed to develop good self-esteem may feel insecure and vulnerable when it comes to establishing relationships. Feeling insufficient, defective or undeserving prevents them from naturally showing themselves as they are. and being comfortable in social settings, so their performance is not optimal.

Inappropriate attitudes

Finally, we cannot ignore that there are certain attitudes that can alienate other people. If your child doesn’t have friends, it may be because he doesn’t treat others with respect, empathy, or kindness. An envious, dominant or aggressive child will sooner or later be rejected for its environment.

What can you do if your child doesn’t have friends?

The keys to helping a child who has no friends derive directly from the causes that are giving rise to this situation. Thus, depending on the case, you can apply some of the following measures:

Strengthen your child’s self-esteem and builds your self-confidence. It is very important that you face the world with the idea that your love is unconditional; Let them feel that in the face of their mistakes you are the first to opt for a constructive attitude. We analyze and try again.Work on social skills. Little by little let go of his hand in this area as well. It encourages interaction in various contexts, not just those in which the child feels totally safe. When a conflict appears, try to get him to talk about it, to put words to it. The fact of constructing a story of what has happened will make him more intelligent on a social level, and will also give you the opportunity to intervene with more precision. If this conflict does not appear, you can pose hypothetical situations and discuss the different options of the protagonists.Seek professional help if necessary. If your child’s difficulties in making friends are very marked, he may suffer from social phobia, in which case working with a psychologist is essential. Therapy can also help you improve your social skills and manage pain and hurt from past negative experiences.

In short, the lack of social relationships is a painful but reversible situation. Therefore, help your child acquire the tools he needs to improve his social performance and trust himself. But, above all, offer your understanding, support and encouragement during the process; This will allow you to strengthen yourself and make the necessary changes.

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