Considering the emails I receive every day, one thing I can see when it comes to relationship failure: Many break up because of jealousy, insecurity and possession.

If you’re reading this article, I assume you’re such a person, who has all these things inside.

But you finally realized that if you continue like this you will lose your relationship, the great love of your life. If you go on not trusting the one you love, you will lose the one you love, so it won’t do any good.

The good thing is that the fact that you seek help and fall into this article will already start to change your whole story, as you have just shown humility in recognizing that you really need to change.

So in the next few lines I’ll give you some tips so you can leave jealousy, insecurity and possession aside…

How to stop being a jealous person

The first step is to eliminate your jealousy.

Jealousy is something that to some extent is normal. When it happens in a moderate way, it ends up becoming a special care for the person. Of course, you have to take care of the person you are with, worrying about those who approach them, because anyone can have bad intentions and you have to be aware of that.

But after a certain point, when jealousy gets out of control to the point of:

You stay all the time wondering where the person is;
Call all the time;
Search for messages on the cell phone;
Implicate because of photos or likes on social media;
Not letting the person have friends;
Smother it all the time wanting to control everything;
So, in these cases above, you have already lost control of your jealousy and will end up losing the person.

Follow my lead: my girlfriend has access to everything I own.

She can pick up my cell phone whenever she wants, open her facebook, see my Whatsapp, she knows everything. I let her feel free to fiddle and poke everything she wants. But does she know what happens? She doesn’t.

Even having access to everything I do, she doesn’t seek to know. It’s not that she doesn’t want to, it’s just that she trusts me. And she knows she can trust me because I have nothing to hide from her.

And I know I can trust her, so there’s a balance. Just as she has access to my stuff, I have access to her stuff. And guess what? I don’t either.

Read Also: Where do we go when love ends?

In this way, I trust her and she trusts me. If I start digging through her stuff just because I have access, she’s going to be upset with me. Likewise, if she starts digging through my stuff, even though she has access, I’ll be saddened by her. It’s because? Because that would demonstrate a lack of trust from her or mine.

But if I had something hidden, do you really think I’d let her get my stuff? No, because I would be afraid of her finding out. But as I am faithful to her, I have character, she can take my cell phone whenever she wants, because I have nothing to fear. The same goes for her.

This trust between the two of us strengthens our relationship, because we don’t go crazy wanting to know where the other is all the time, suffocating each other.

If you are jealous or jealous, but you also have things to hide, then you will not be able to overcome your jealousy.

Because you tend to be jealous because you do something wrong. Maybe you don’t cheat on your boyfriend or girlfriend, but it could be that you delete whatsapp conversations with friends, flirt with someone on face or on the street, have desires to be with someone, even if you haven’t done it yet, etc.

Because you have it all inside you, you unconsciously (or consciously) think the other person does too. Then your jealousy goes wild.

If you can’t give your loved one your phone to rummage through, turn, open and close because you’re afraid they’ll find out something, then you’ll never stop being a jealous person.

I repeat it again: The tendency is that you think that the other person is just like you are.

If you are cheating on the person then (or have cheated on them, you are even more jealous, because you think that at any moment they will do the same.

Therefore, jealousy is something internal to you.

It’s up to you to decide for yourself. Clean up your life, stop doing or hiding something from the loved one, be free so that, if she needs to touch your smartphone, you can rest easy knowing that she can do it at will, because she won’t find anything.

How to stop being an insecure person

Just as you do to put your jealousy aside, you will also do to put your insecurity aside.

By doing all that I said in the previous topic, you will already start to feel more secure and your jealousy will decrease.

But understand one thing: it’s not enough for you to just do what I told you, you also have to make a decision.

It is necessary for you to decide: I will trust the person I love.

Without this decision, you do not strengthen it within you. This decision needs to be made vehemently every day.

Trust, before being felt, has to be thought about. To stop being an insecure person, you need to rationally choose that you want this, you need to really put it inside you.

Insecurity breeds jealousy and possession.

In fact, the insecure person does not trust himself.

If you don’t trust yourself, your club, your ability to make your loved one happy, then you will feel insecure.

Understand one thing: if this person is having a relationship with you, then you are the one they chose.

If you don’t trust yourself, you will never be safe with the person.

I, for example, have self-esteem up there. I honestly don’t keep thinking that my girlfriend could find someone better, that I’m not good enough, I’m not afraid of her leaving me for someone else.

In fact, I very much doubt that there is anyone better for her than I am.

Even if a famous Hollywood actor shows up hitting on her, I believe I’m superior to this guy when it comes to making her happy. I trust myself and that’s final. Nobody can take it from me. And if she ever wants to leave me, she’ll be the loser (if she reads this, she’ll kill me lol).

Read Also: 11 simple ways to feel LESS Alone in life

The point is that I trust myself, so the insecurity that generates jealousy doesn’t affect me. Do the same.

SEE ALSO: Know which factors can destroy your relationship and get rid of them!

How to stop being a possessive person

Possessiveness is when you want to control everything. She wants to control who she hangs out with, where she goes, who she talks to, who she calls, what she did during the day, who is that person she accepted on Facebook the other day, etc.

You practically don’t let the person be free, you suffocate him. Sorry, but you will lose your love that way.

To let go of that feeling of ownership, like the person is your property, you have to trust them. Here too is a decision. You will have to overcome the urge to charge the person, call all the time, etc.

In fact, when you do what I taught in the previous two topics about jealousy and insecurity, you already ease your feeling of possession a lot.

Nothing is better than having the lightness of being able to trust the person and move on.

If you are not able to apply this to your relationship then you will lose it. If that doesn’t motivate you to want to be better, then maybe you should be alone forever, because you’re not ready to have a relationship with anyone.

What if the person I’m with is no good?

Now let’s imagine the case that your jealousy, your insecurity, etc., is caused because the other person has already done a lot. Maybe she’s not a flower to smell, she has betrayed you several times, has behaviors that make you insecure all the time. How to overcome all this in this case? Well, it just doesn’t.

If the person is no good, if he is not a flower to smell, you will never feel safe with him. So you’re just wasting your time with this relationship, you have to end it and move on.

The tips that I gave in this article are only useful if the problem is in you. If the problem is with the other person, get out of it, you will only suffer for having a relationship with someone like that.