Emotional Attachment: 8 tips on how to deal with the problem

Try to remember some past situation where you were unhappy and still couldn’t let go. That’s the emotional attachment.

This can easily pass for love. But the truth is, if this condition causes suffering, sadness and anguish, it is certainly not healthy.

Emotional attachment is a kind of prison! And, unfortunately, a very common reality. The need for control and expectation, disorganized energy flow, insecurity and low self-esteem are some of the consequences of this condition.

The good news is that you can overcome emotional attachment. In this text, I’m going to talk more about the topic and help you get rid of what you’re clinging to. Come with me and I’ll explain.

What is emotional attachment and how is it established

In the light of psychology, attachment it is a way for people to be close to something or someone that is important to them. It is also understood as the search for approval and attention.

In the case of the subject of this article, the object of attachment will meet a specific emotional need of that person, who is in search of security and affection. The question is: how does this happen?

The process of emotional attachment can be established in childhood. Depending on the relationship with the mother – or with the caregiver – attachment develops. It has to do with you having your daily needs met by someone else.

And that carries over into adulthood. As adults, we remain in this search for the completeness of needs and feelings, seeking to adapt to the environment in which we live.

For example: at work, we usually approach people with whom we can also share intimate and personal life information. Likewise in love relationships, with whom we create bonds based on the level of affinity.

These are healthy and very natural ways of living relationships. It is a way for people to feel alive, as bonding is vital for living together in society.

A natural and healthy relationship is premised on the independence of the parties. That is, when separation occurs, everything is experienced and understood as something natural.

The problem is that, not always, this attachment is healthy, as I said at the beginning. Sometimes it results in suffering – and therein lies the need for change.

The limitations imposed by emotional attachment

An emotional attachment can imprison you. Yes, that’s right. This situation can limit their behavior at any level, preventing their personal growth and even generating a dependent personality disorder.

One of the symptoms, for example, is the fear of some kind of abandonment or contempt. The ironic thing is that, many times, this is an idea outside the reality in which the person is involved. That’s because, in a way, she won’t even miss what (or who) she’s emotionally attached to if she lets go of that something or someone.

However, in this case, several feelings and emotions are out of balance within the individual, with insecurity and low self-esteem being the main factors. Thus, the person wants to continue with the relationship because he believes that it is necessary to keep his life balanced and happy.

This is still a symptom of the need for control – which can create negative links and further delay detachment.

Emotional attachment can be triggered by separation or the threat of separation, involving basic emotions of fear, anger, and sadness. And, in order not to face these feelings, many people remain in broken relationships.

But the cost of this choice is high: if it decreases, loses its autonomy, gives up its will and its happiness. Is it worth it?

Difference between attachment and dependence

Initially, I can say that both are very similar. But emotional dependency is the result of attachment at a higher level.

Emotional attachment is a more internal and individual feeling. For example, the person really wants to be with someone, but does not interfere definitively in the life or routine of the other.

Emotional dependence, on the other hand, is an invasive and excessive need to be cared for, establishing itself through infantile bonds. That is, the addict demands attention and zeal from the other who, most of the time, has his life disturbed by this demand.

All this mentally unbalances anyone. Someone who is very emotionally dependent, for example, can establish rules that limit the other’s freedom, just because of the fear of losing, of being abandoned. If the controlled person believes that this is love, he can continue living this story with suffering.

This emotional or behavioral condition hinders the relationship of those involved, but it also has repercussions in different areas of life.

Symptoms of Emotional Attachment

In a relationship, there are several signs that indicate attachment. If your well-being and emotional balance depend on another, for example, know that the warning signal is already on. Check out other signs that something is wrong here:

Behaviors of submission to the other Signs of fissure and abstinence in the absence of the loved object Difficulties in making decisions in relationships Feelings of dissatisfaction Emotional emptiness Fear of loneliness Low tolerance for frustration Boredom Desire for self-destruction and negative feelings Lack of awareness about your problems Feeling of being trapped in the relationship and that you will not be able to leave it Conflicts of identity

Both in attachment and dependence, there is a need to fill emotional needs and open bonds. But, instead of looking for self-sufficiency, the person looks to others for these references.

Of course, no relationship at this level will be satisfactory. On the contrary, it will always be dysfunctional. Therefore, the individual cannot maintain concentration in their daily activities, as there is an excessive concern for the partner.

8 tips for dealing with emotional attachment

There is no magic recipe to end emotional attachment overnight. Even because, as has been said, the problem may have been developing for years. Often from childhood.

So it becomes difficult to quickly end something that has been ingrained for so long. Therefore, understanding this scenario is extremely necessary to overcome the problem. And, with dedication and persistence, it is possible to break free.

For this, your new relationships will be based on the tips I will give here. Check it out:

Acknowledge the problem: The first step is to recognize that there is an emotional attachment or that you are emotionally dependent on another person. Reflect on what each attachment offers, both positively and negatively.Have more security: Regarding your actions and behavior, keep in mind that the future is uncertain and there is no way to control it, and a possible mistake is not your fault that will only be fixed by the action of others. Life is like that, uncertain.Focus on you: Keep your actions and thoughts to yourself. Put yourself in the center and be aware of your knowledge and desires. It’s not about being selfish, but being aware of what’s really important for your life, your day to day, your dreams. Over time, you will realize that emotional attachment is giving way to you at the center of your life.Know how to say no: In this way, you are self-asserting and putting your wishes and desires into practice. This is an important factor in finding emotional balance in your life. Remember this comes with training and stimulation.Leave the past in the past: Leave in memory everything that happened. Don’t get hung up on experiences and people that were part of your life months or years ago. Think that the new will not arrive and take place if the old does not go away. The past can even serve as experience, but it will never dictate the direction of your life.Always question: the person emotionally dependent on another cannot see beyond what he is told. And this is where the danger lies. You have to question, doubt.Assume your emotional responsibilities: Your life is your responsibility, as are your emotions. Therefore, there is no point passing this responsibility forward and wanting to put it in someone else’s hands.Use integrative therapies: There are countless possibilities with integrative techniques. Together, they will work deeply on the root of the problem, freeing the flow of energy and promoting balance, well-being and quality of life.

Therapy to deal with emotional attachment

Remember that emotional attachment is the result of excessive control and anxiety, it is resistance preventing the flow of energy in the body. And that’s where the techniques of Integrative Therapies present themselves as excellent solutions, because they have great potential to release this flow and help overcome attachment, bringing self-knowledge and releasing energies.

Reiki, for example, promotes self-knowledge through relaxation and will act a lot on emotional and mental issues. On the other hand, Pranic Healing will clear the energy centers of attachment, control and expectations, energizing the chakras with wholeness understanding and severing links with objects and people.

The Florals will act on feelings that are related to attachment, such as frustration, expectation and resistance, balancing all of them for the moment of detachment. Lastly, Acupuncture promotes energy awareness and understanding of flow dynamics.

Anyway, you can see that emotional detachment is within everyone’s reach. Just recognize the problem and start healing. It’s not always easy, but when you know that kind of freedom, your happiness is well under way.