Do you know how to give compliments?

It is common to focus on what the other person does that we don’t like. We even let them know, not always in good ways. But what about all the positive things that others give us? The truth is that, When it comes to giving compliments, we are not so inclined to communicate them to those around us.

Why does this happen? The fact is that this fact can have different origins. On the one hand it may be because we are ashamed. Maybe we consider that the other person already knows what we like about them and it is not necessary to tell them. Or maybe we don’t know very well how to convey it to them without it being forced and we are so unaccustomed… Keep reading and discover the importance of giving compliments!

Is it necessary to give compliments?

We are social beings. This means that we need to relate to other people. No matter how independent we are, we do not stop interacting with others. So, since you have to relate, it’s better to do it properly, right?

In fact, low social skills are often accompanied by psychological distress. For our performance in this area to be satisfactory, we use these skills: the purpose is to communicate and relate to others. Thus, good use of this type of tools will ensure that our interpersonal relationships are of better quality.

To do this, it is important that you learn to communicate to the other person the aspects to work on, so that the relationship improves. But not only that. It is also important not to assume that the other person knows what we like about them and tell them. Positive exchange in any type of social interaction is a great reinforcer for said relationship.

Because? Because this way we can create deeper bonds. When we give compliments, we increase the chance of receiving them.. And who doesn’t like to be told good things about ourselves? When others express positive qualities and emotions about and toward us, our positive affect increases.

What should be taken into account when giving compliments?

When communicating, it is important to take into account different aspects. I am not referring exclusively to the message we want to convey. Also We have to look at the context in which we are saying and in other non-verbal behaviors that we implement.

This needs to be taken into account when giving criticism, but also when giving compliments. Thus, choosing an appropriate context takes on special importance. The same thing happens with our facial expression, which must be in tune. Besides, It is good that we maintain eye contact, but without making the other person uncomfortable..

As for the tone of voice, I advise you to have a soft and calm one, without being loud. We also have to be close to others and orient ourselves towards them. Of course, not only do you have to take all this into account. The most important thing of all is that we do not give compliments before asking for a favor, since then they will lose their value: they can be understood as an attempt at manipulation.

Like value decreases if compliments are exaggerated and unrealistic. In this sense, a specific compliment, based on specific actions, will be better received by the other person. Think about a time when you thought you were being flattered and a time when you thought you truly believed the positive things the other person said about you, which one made you feel better?

Practice the art of giving compliments!

Even though we take all this into account, giving compliments will feel forced if we are not accustomed to it. What can we do then so that praise comes more spontaneously? The answer is simple. As in other areas, such as public speaking, the crux of the matter is in the practice.

For it, we can define for ourselves what we want to communicate and how. For example: “There’s Pedro, I’m going to go over, greet him and ask him how everything is going. Then I can tell you: I know I never tell you anything, but I really appreciate the help you have given me to make this project go ahead. You are a generous person and you have shown it to me. Okay, here I go.” See?

It is important, in this sense, that When we do it we ensure the attention of the receiving person. In the middle of a party, where the music is loud and your attention is scattered, it may not be the best place. If we have chosen that moment to do it, it is best that we take it to a quieter place for a few minutes. In that condition our message will reach you much better.

That is, it is important to think about what we are going to say to the other person and how we are going to communicate it to them. In this sense, we will start little by little. Finally, It is important that we use our feelings and be specific… Giving compliments is not difficult if we get used to it! I invite you to encourage it in your daily life and observe for yourself the benefits of this simple exercise… Increase the quality of your relationships!

Images courtesy of Eberhard Grossgasteiger, Ben White and Matheus Ferrero.

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