Failing in love, why am I so unlucky?

Many people feel like real failures in love. They always end up having disastrous relationships, which hurt them a lot and increase their distrust regarding relationships. When… it is not possible to fail in love, what happens is that you choose the wrong person, circumstances or moments.

When we fall in love with someone, On many occasions we do it because of family similarity. This means that we look at people who look like our father or mother.

Why does someone who has had an absent father or mother have partners who are always working, for example? Because it is what she has identified with love, although it is painful to admit it.

However, it’s not always like that. Sometimes what happens is that we don’t take time to get to know the other person. and check if our tastes coincide, if we reciprocate in the same way or whether or not the potential partner wants to commit to the same extent as we do. Our expectations sometimes play tricks on us.

Insecurity as the main reason for failing in love

The fear of being alone (without a partner) or the fear that no one desires or loves us can cause us to begin to act in a desperate way. For example, it makes us create several profiles on different dating apps, so that every time we go to the supermarket or the bank and a person is nice to us we think “this is my chance.” While we drift our thoughts along this path, we forget the most important thing, ourselves.

Article Emotional dependence in relationships as Artemis Syndrome: explanatory model lists several beliefs as potential generators of that insecurity that causes us to leave a relationship and immerse ourselves in others that do not satisfy us.

We don’t know what we want or if we really like it… The only thing that matters to us is calming that insecurity that causes obsessive thoughts to swirl in our minds. that generate anxiety in us. This will only lead us to the same result as always: failing in love.

Not defining the type of relationship we want

Love just happens, opposites attract or was it love at first sight?…All these phrases are part of the beliefs already mentioned and that as a rule lead us to failed relationships. Because, just as we think very carefully about what we want to study, what we want to dedicate ourselves to, or whether it is better for us to move to another place, it is good to do the same with our relationships.

Don’t we choose our friends at random? We hope that our tastes coincide so that we can make plans together, think in a similar way so that arguments do not predominate, or be in a similar vital moment to be in tune; Well, with the choice of our relationships, the same.

Are we really looking for a relationship? Sometimes all we want may be “quick satisfaction,” as the article points out. Understandings about couples today: young people in search of stability, or enjoy our solitude.What would we not tolerate in our partner? It could be smoking, drinking alcohol or being a fan of some sport. We should not judge ourselves when answering this question. For each of us the answer will be different.What do we expect from the future? Living in the same house or each person having their own, having children or not, moving abroad… All this will determine the type of person with whom we are going to have a relationship.

When we do not ask ourselves these questions and we are not clear about what we expect from the other person, over time recriminations begin to arise or we tend to expect our partner to change.

To avoid this, to not fail in love, it is good to be clear about what we want, so that it is easier build relationships that will really contribute to us.

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