Do men regret hurting? 10 signs when yes

I think we can all agree that there is no pain like a broken heart.

It could be that you are going through a breakup or find yourself in a difficult relationship. In any case, if your man has hurt you, you probably want to know if he is hurting as much as you are.

But how do you know if a guy feels guilty or if he regrets losing you?

If you feel remorse, it is most likely that you express it with certain signs that we will tell you about below.

10 Clear Signs He’s Sorry For Hurting You

1) He wants to know that you are okay

If he texts or calls you to check on you, this shows that he is sorry for hurting you. Also, he wants you to be okay.

You may even be asking people close to you, like friends or family, how you are.

While this doesn’t necessarily mean that you want to get back together, if you’ve broken up, it does show that you care.

See here the signs when your ex wants to return.

2) You are being too nice

Surely, it happened to you too…

You say or do something you wish you hadn’t done. After realizing that you have done wrong, you feel guilty.

Therefore, you begin to be super nice to that person you have damaged.

He knows that he has done something wrong and he is sorry. So he wants to counter it by trying to be extremely nice.

He may offer to do small favors for you, or he may be much friendlier than usual.

This is a sign that he is going the extra mile, wanting to reverse the damage he has caused you.

3) He tries to make it up to you

How he tries to make it up to you will depend on what he did to hurt you in the first place.

He might try having gestures with you, like asking if he can buy you dinner. He can also buy you gifts, such as flowers, to ask for forgiveness.

The fact that he’s at least trying to make it up to you will probably make him feel better than acting like he doesn’t care.

But remember that while this type of behavior may show remorse, it may not solve the problem.

If whatever he did to hurt you wasn’t such a big deal, then flowers might do the trick.

However, if he really hurt you, superficial romantic gestures may not be enough to win back your trust.

4) He wants to do things differently to improve

If you have truly reflected on the mistakes you have made, you may have done some soul-searching.

This will probably make him realize that he needs to change.

He may want you to know that he understands how his actions have impacted you and that he is disappointed in his behavior.

He may try to show you that he has grown or is making an effort to improve.

Recognizing that you need to do things differently in the future definitely shows some emotional maturity.

But more important than what he says, is probably what he does.

After all, actions speak louder than words.

So you must see if he is really taking the steps so that everything he says really happens.

5) He is calmer than usual

Perhaps one of the subtlest signs that you are dealing with guilt is if you suddenly become quiet or very calm.

Maybe before, he seemed to always be having fun and celebrating every event on his social media. But all of a sudden, it’s like she’s turned off.

No more good times.

He is simply silent and withdraws to be with himself.

No one seems to know what he is doing and he is no longer seen hanging out with his usual group of friends.

We all deal with difficulties in different ways.

Sometimes some people take a little longer to absorb things.

After a breakup or a big argument it can seem like a guy doesn’t care about you. But in reality, you may care more than you think.

Drinking, partying, hanging out with friends are often distraction techniques that we resort to.

But you can’t run away from your emotions forever.

Which is why if he suddenly goes silent, it’s a sign that things might have finally hit him.

6) You are trying to gloss over things

If your guy isn’t good at coping or expressing emotions, he may try to act like nothing happened.

Check out the ways you should act around an emotionally unavailable man.

Maybe he’s making a lot of jokes, in a misguided attempt to lighten things up. This is a seemingly haphazard approach, which can seem very nonchalant.

You may wonder if he really cares about you.

Although it’s not the best way to deal with things, it can still be a sign that he feels bad about hurting you.

Many men feel uncomfortable when faced with strong emotions. That can make you try to downplay what has happened and want to move on quickly.

Of course, the problem with this approach is that he doesn’t take responsibility for what he’s done either.

7) Admit your mistakes

It is very easy to be defensive when we make mistakes.

Our ego rushes out to protect us. It takes time to think about what we have done and to recognize that we have been wrong.

If he shows you that he really understands the error of what he’s done, then clearly he’s been thinking about it all.

He cares about you enough to let go of his pride and own his actions.

8) Gives you a real apology

What is the difference between a real apology and just saying sorry?

The truth is, if you know him well, you can probably tell deep down, if he really means it or not.

The key to a true apology comes down to sincerity. If he really feels bad about hurting you, he will show concern.

His “I’m sorry” will be more than just wanting to get you off his back or trying to quickly resolve an argument. He will offer you guarantees and will try to back up his words through actions.

And how do you know if his apology is sincere?

You will be vulnerable: rehearsed apologies seem false or too confident. With sincere apologies, the person giving you the apology will most likely feel uncomfortable. You may appear more humble or show signs of embarrassment. React quickly: If your grief occurs almost instantly, you’re more likely to feel guilty right away. His body language: If he’s not sincere, he may look away when he apologizes, or you might even notice him smile a little. Otherwise, he will try to get closer to you, look you straight in the eye, and want to kiss or hug you.

9) He is open with his feelings

If he’s sorry, owns up to hurting you, and wants to make amends, then he’s opening up to you.

This is especially significant if you usually find it difficult to talk about your emotions.

At the thought of losing you forever, he might be making more of an effort to show you and tell you how he really feels.

While this doesn’t magically fix everything, it does show that he feels a connection to you and is prepared to be vulnerable.

We all know that communication is a fundamental part of making a relationship work.

If you feel like he’s making an effort to open up to you, it’s a sign that he’s feeling remorseful.

10) It is becoming more flexible

If you’re wrong and you know it, you might be starting to accept things you never would have said yes to.

Maybe he had stubbornly refused to go somewhere you wanted to go a long time ago.

And now, all of a sudden, he’s suggesting that you go.

Have you suggested that they have couples therapy, but he didn’t want to know anything? And now he says he’s going?

If he’s being more accommodating, and less selfish, it could be because he feels bad about hurting you.

5 Signs He’s Not Sorry For Hurting You

Of course none of us likes to think that someone we care about doesn’t even feel guilty for hurting us.

But there is a chance that some men may not have the emotional maturity to accept that they have been wrong or have made a mistake.

Here are 5 indicators that he really doesn’t feel bad about hurting you:

1) Does not assume any responsibility

In a relationship there are two people and both contribute to the way it moves forward. Even when one party makes more mistakes than the other.

He may be justified in not taking all the blame. But if he can’t accept any responsibility for his wrongdoing, then it’s not a good sign.

Passing the buck, making excuses or always blaming others means that you are not willing to take responsibility for your part.

Even if he hurt you unintentionally, if he cared about you, he would at least care how you feel.

If he still tells you or others that he didn’t do anything wrong, he probably doesn’t feel bad about what happened.

2) He says, but doesn’t do

Our words are important, but we need to back them up with actions.

Is there a pattern in your relationship where he hurts you, says he’s sorry, promises it will be different next time, but then nothing changes?

A superficial forgiveness for being wrong, when it is not backed by a change in behavior, ends up having no value for the relationship.

If he really regretted hurting you, he would not only tell you, but also show it with actions.

3) He thinks you should just “get over it”

Are you downplaying the whole situation in a way that seems like you don’t really care?

If you had a fight or he did something wrong, instead of making it up to you, he may be acting like you’re overreacting.

You might even tell yourself that it’s all in your head.

This type of behavior can sometimes be a temporary defense mechanism to try to protect yourself. Over time this may go away.

But either way, it shows that he doesn’t understand how his actions have affected you and isn’t willing to put himself in your shoes.

It’s easier for him to walk away, ignore what happened between you, and be dismissive.

4) He is being insensitive

If you’re being insensitive or downright cruel about the whole thing, then chances are you’re not feeling guilty right now.

When we’re going through a breakup or have just had a fight in a relationship, it’s normal to want to let off some steam.

This may mean hanging out with friends or taking a bit of distance to calm down.

But if he intentionally shows you that he’s having a good time without you, then he’s not feeling remorse.

Maybe other women are showing up on his social media, or he’s constantly bragging about how much fun he’s having.

Of course, this could be about making you jealous or causing a reaction in you.

If you hurt him too, then his behavior may make some sense.

But if he has no reason to be angry with you and knows that you are hurting, this type of behavior shows a lack of respect for your feelings.

You may be interested in this article on how to forget someone who doesn’t suit you.

5) It’s all “me, me, me”

If you’re only talking about how you feel, what you want and need, you’re only worrying about him…