“My ex sleeps with me, but he doesn’t want to come back”: 5 crude reasons

You receive a message from him. He wants to see you. But… they have separated recently.

What does he want? Is she thinking of coming back? Have you reconsidered?

You agree to meet him.

You realize that all he wanted was to sleep with you. Disappointed?

We have all been in this painful confusion at some point. You are not alone.

The question is: why is he only looking for you to have sex?

Here I will help you find out.

We will evaluate 5 reasons why your ex sleeps with you.

In addition, we will identify if it is a good idea or not for you to see it.

And what is the reason why he does not want to have a relationship with you again. Or maybe yes?

Why is my ex looking for me to have sex?

You must keep in mind that each relationship is different.

There are no general reasons that fit all couples equally.

Each breakup has its reason for being and each person their particular reason for ending.

Have you already evaluated the reasons why you have separated and still do not have answers?

If so, you may be wondering why your ex is back on the prowl.

Sure, you’ve already figured out that his intention is simply to have sex with you.

Here are 5 reasons to understand their motives:

1) He doesn’t like to be alone

If he is one of those people who gets emotionally attached to someone, he may not tolerate loneliness.

Even if he was the one who made the decision to separate. Ironic, isn’t it?

You probably feel the need for company, even if your goal is not to get back together.

He chooses to be with you, with whom he has a pleasant and comfortable bond, than with another person.

2) Custom

A study conducted by the University of Wisconsin indicates that:

“More than half of young couples who break up try to keep in touch later because of the intimacy that having sex with their ex-partner gives them.”

In other words, your ex may be looking for you for that special intimacy that they achieved together.

Although he chooses to keep the separation, he may not be able to completely disengage from you.

Perhaps the carnal union they had continues to weigh more than maintaining that agreed distance.

This behavior may be something you should pay attention to.

It may be a sign of selfishness.

3) It is selfish

Did you know that maintaining a friendship with your ex could be taken as a trait of a psychopath?

Because?

A study from Oakland University published in ScienceDirect indicates that:

«People with “dark personalities” have a tendency to maintain friendships with their exes for purely practical and selfish reasons.»

Continuing in contact with an ex may imply motives that hide harmful intentions.

If your ex wants to see you, it may be for selfish reasons that only benefit him.

From making you available for sex to controlling your life, even after you break up.

Don’t get me wrong, he may not even be aware of his unconscious motives.

The key is precisely that.

If you maintain relationships after a breakup, there will always be a goal behind it.

You must sharpen your senses and manage to perceive if there is something else after their meeting.

Clearly, leaving a relationship is not easy and involves great sacrifice and effort.

Sometimes we don’t have the ability to recognize our selfish acts due to pain.

Therefore, it is necessary to clarify the reasons when seeing each other again.

In this way, new injuries will be avoided and a consensual reunion will be achieved.

Dr. Amber Vennum, from the University of Kansas, suggests that,

“The reunion with your ex must be clear to both of you to avoid it being one-sided and both of you understanding what is happening, also preventing one of you from going after the other until you agree to get back together.”

4) He wants to have an open relationship with you

Perhaps, the one who seeks you for sexual purposes is because he wants to see you only on that plane.

That is, perhaps you don’t want to maintain the level of commitment they had before.

But he did want to maintain the intimacy they shared.

Having a sexual partner or lover that you get along with is not an easy task.

Surely, your bond is spectacular in this sense and you do not want to lose it.

If this is the case, ideally you should both agree.

Being in an open relationship is possible, but it should be something that both of you choose.

That way, there will be no false expectations about it.

5) He is confused

If they have been separated for a short time. Both of you are probably still confused.

A separation leaves open wounds that take time to heal.

And when you’re down, look for comfort in the people you love.

As much as they have broken up, sometimes it is difficult to stay distant after what has happened.

In fact, that feeling of nostalgia or missing you may have him disoriented.

He may also still not be clear if he made the right decision and follow you for it.

In that case, sex would be an excuse and he is looking for you because he thinks he was wrong.

What to do if my ex wants to see me, but doesn’t want to come back?

As I mentioned before, every situation is different.

And there are probably endless reasons to answer this question.

If this situation brings you confusion and suffering. It is necessary to solve it.

Here are 3 suggestions to achieve it.

Find out what happens to you with this situation

Do you understand why they have separated or are you still thinking about it?

If you have already discovered it, do you still want it to be part of your life?

Do you really want to see it? Or maybe it’s a way to ease the pain of separation.

These questions are not to torture you.

The intention is to help you discover what happens to you when he looks for you.

It is normal that after a separation both are confused.

Generally, clearly identifying what feelings you have for him is difficult.

So, take your time and reflect on what you are experiencing.

What happens to you when you see it? When you are together are you better or worse?

Does his departure relieve you or leave you feeling empty?

These questions are very personal. You will have to do an introspection to solve them.

They will undoubtedly help you better understand where you stand and what you want for your life.

If you are already clear about what is happening to you, it is time to talk about it with him.

This will help you figure out why you both keep choosing each other this way.

Perhaps he is also confused and the dialogue will help him clarify his feelings.

Perhaps the fact that you are not part of his life makes him afraid of losing you.

Or, you’re still not sure if you made the right decision.

Whatever the explanation, the important thing is that you exhaust all your doubts with him.

In this way you will discover if his intentions are selfish or if he is really confused.

He must understand that he can’t play with you.

Beyond what you feel for him. It is necessary that he respect you.

If he looks for you when he is lonely or after a drunk, it may not be a good sign.

Setting your limits and understanding what stage of the breakout they are at is important.

Both must agree to meet again. Otherwise, you give in to their whims.

That can hurt you and deepen your wounds.

In fact, you have the right to give your time to someone new, don’t you think?

You and only you can determine how far your ex should go.

Should I allow him to search for me?

Is your bond so strong that you still can’t separate completely?

If so, their sexual drive may be too intense.

When this happens, the desire and attraction for the other is very difficult to avoid.

Surely you have wondered if by rekindling the flame, they could return.

This is an answer that only you and your ex can give.

In the same way, let’s evaluate whether to continue seeing him privately is a good idea or not.

Yeah! Having sex with your ex is a GOOD decision.

This is the case for those whose physical relationship was (and is) amazing.

They recognize that they are excellent sexual partners.

Therefore, continuing to be intimate generates happiness for both of them.

In this case, it is essential that they discuss it before continuing.

In this way, neither of them will expect to achieve something more after each meeting.

If you both agree and have no expectations other than these, go ahead!

A sexual bond is possible if it is done with respect and without emotional ties.

NO! Having sex with your ex is a BAD idea.

If the only way one of you can see the other is through sex, something is wrong.

These meetings should not be an opportunity to see him again.

I understand that you may need to spend time with him. You miss him.

Or have the illusion of winning him back.

Although, surely, you feel an emptiness every time he leaves your bed, right?

All you’re doing is fulfilling his whims.

You don’t need to give in to their selfish needs.

Possibly, this will not make him come back and will only feed your insecurity more.

Will having relations with him help me come back?

I’m sorry to be the one to say it, but possibly not.

Although this is something that must be evaluated in detail in each couple.

What will help you understand if it works or not is the following:

What happens after the sexual encounter?

Signs that your ex does not want to get back with you

Keep in mind the following situations to consider it:

He leaves you quickly after the meeting He doesn’t like going out with you during the day, they only see each other at night He avoids real dates He texts you only late at night to see each other He doesn’t stay over

As you may have noticed, these behaviors translate to only one thing:

He only seeks his individual satisfaction and well-being. He is not thinking of you.

What to do to get your ex away

If you notice that all this is damaging you emotionally, follow these tips:

Stay away from him: the longer you take to get him out of your life, the more painful it will be.
Try to meet other people: your world does not revolve around your ex. Try it. Focus on your goals and objectives: your time is valuable. Prioritize your well-being over theirs. Do not put aside your personal desires to spend time with him.

To return or not to return, that is the question

Breaking up does not mean avoiding all kinds of communication or pretending that you don’t know each other anymore.

What’s more, they may still continue to see each other. Or have pending issues to resolve.

It is normal, it is not easy to forget the routines that a couple had for so long.

It is a bond that is difficult to leave, especially when the break was not on bad terms.

When, on the other hand, the separation occurs violently or aggressively. It doesn’t usually happen.

In that case, it is better to cut off all contact to avoid further pain after separation.

The important thing to keep in mind is that resuming the relationship must be a premeditated decision.

What do I mean?

Returning to return, because they miss each other or because they feel “different” without the other is not learning from the mistakes that led to their breakup.

Dr. Amber Vennum explains:

“Movies, books and TV shows portray getting back with an ex as romantic and as a consequence, most young people find themselves in a relationship where they have broken up and gotten back together. They are less committed to the relationship, less willing to change or make sacrifices for their partner.”

If they choose to give themselves a second chance, try to do it consciously.

Look for the commitment to avoid falling…