“I feel sad with my partner” The 7 possible causes

Don’t you know why lately you’ve been feeling sad with your partner?

You could be a bit confused, it is logical, if you feel sadness but you do not know what its causes are, it can be a strange sensation. I know because I have experienced it on several occasions with my partner.

It’s like a feeling of not really understanding what’s going on, he’s probably a guy you like a lot, he could have everything you want, but you still feel sad sometimes and you don’t quite understand why.

It could also be that he is not acting in the best way with you, but that the attraction you feel and the fear of losing him make you not be able to see things clearly.

But don’t worry, today we are going to explore the possible reasons why you are feeling sadness in your relationship. And I will tell you my own experience and what I do to surf the emotional waves that I experience while I continue to learn every day.

“I feel sad with my partner”: The 7 main reasons that could be generating this emotion in you

1) Not feeling understood

Feeling that your partner understands you, even if sometimes they don’t share your point of view, is essential for the health of your relationship.

If you’re feeling sad for no particular reason, it could be because you don’t feel fully understood by your boyfriend.

He can be kind and affectionate, but if when it comes to opening up or telling him about your concerns you don’t get his support and understanding, this may cause you sadness.

2) Lack of communication

Hand in hand with the previous point, communication is very important for the couple.

If you can’t find the spaces to talk, you don’t feel comfortable communicating openly with your partner, or you feel that you don’t talk enough, this may make you feel sad with him. They could also have negative communication patterns or too many arguments where they fail to listen to each other carefully.

Communication is a fundamental pillar to connect with your boyfriend, if you can’t talk, it’s difficult for them to deepen their relationship and perhaps this is what is causing you sadness.

If this is what you are experiencing, I advise you to ask your boyfriend to make time especially to talk to you and raise these concerns and needs that you are feeling. You have to be able to be honest with your partner. Otherwise, they won’t get far.

3) Little timeshare

Imagine this situation: you are starting a relationship, you feel super excited and excited about a new guy. However, he could have different times than yours and therefore he does not propose to see you as often as you would like. This will surely generate a bit of insecurity and at the same time it could discourage you.

Give yourself time to observe how the relationship evolves, state your needs honestly and do not despair if things do not go as expected. Everything is as it should be in the end.

4) Lack of attention and support

On the other hand, if you’ve been together for a while and you feel like there’s a lack of attention from him, this could be what’s causing you discomfort.

Stable relationships are transformed over time and sometimes habit can make us take the other for granted, even if this is not the case. Sometimes the habit can lead to a feeling of disconnection with the other.

He may have stopped having the details he had before with you, or he may be paying more attention to his needs than yours.

A more than valid reason to feel sad with your partner.

Talk to him, tell him what you’d like, and come up with some ideas to rekindle the spark.

If the love between you exists, maybe you just need to add some spice to your relationship.

You can also focus on showing him more appreciation, since men highly value being appreciated, that will probably make him change his attitude towards you as well.

5) Lack of emotional support

Women can be a roller coaster of emotions sometimes, we have to come clean on this point. And it’s okay that it is, it’s part of our biology.

But the truth is that this can often disconcert any man.

In some cases, men know how to handle those emotional waves that women experience well, but in other cases they don’t, we can’t deny it either.

Sometimes you might feel that your boyfriend is like an “interested friend”, a term mentioned by John Gray in his famous book: “Men are from Mars and women are from Venus”.

There he eloquently describes a personal anecdote where his wife claims that he is an “interested friend”. He refers to the fact that when she is well he is affectionate and accompanies her while when she feels bad and has a bad mood, he distances himself from her and makes her feel abandoned in the moments that she needs the most support from her. .

Many women go through that, it is inevitable to feel the emotional waves and when we are bad two things happen: either we feel a lot of pressure not to show it, or we cause our partner to walk away because we cannot stop complaining. Does it look familiar?

It is not an easy point to resolve, it requires a lot of patience and for both of them to express their ways of feeling and understand their differences as the man and woman they are. Personally, John Gray’s book has been very useful to me in this regard, so I highly recommend it.

6) Incompatible life goals

It could also be that little by little and as you get to know him more, you realize that you and your boy have certain life goals that are not compatible.

Maybe you want to start a family and he wants to live a life full of emotions and without responsibilities. Or it could be that you want to live in a house in the mountains while he loves the city.

Whatever the difference you are seeing, this could be generating a certain sadness in you, perhaps you think that these incompatible desires are a premonition for an imminent separation.

The first thing I’m going to tell you is don’t get ahead of yourself. In relationships there are constant negotiations and if what is between you is true, you will find a way to overcome the obstacles that life presents you.

7) Personalities that clash

You could love your partner deeply, have amazing times together, and have the best sex, but still have opposite personalities or personality traits that cause a lot of friction.

Perhaps you can’t tolerate the time he needs to make decisions, or you are too anxious and have no patience. Or it could be that he is very relaxed about certain things and you need to feel like you are in control of everything.

Each person is unique and sees life in a different way. It is inevitable to have differences with your partner, but it does not mean that this cannot cause you sadness.

The main tool here is acceptance. Respecting their differences and accepting them will be the key for them to have a healthy and lasting relationship.

Why do I feel sad with my partner at times, and how do I deal with it?

Personally, I feel very identified with this topic because I experience it with some frequency.

I haven’t been in a relationship for that long and the truth is that I was single for many years.

I’m sure you know how strange the world of dating has become nowadays, or at least if you’re over 30 you’ll know what I’m talking about.

I still believe that most women are hopeless romantics looking to find that deep love and connection. But it is true that nowadays relations have become a little more volatile.

The point is that despite feeling that I have found a fantastic man and that I feel is wonderful for me. Many times I feel sad with my partner. It is not your fault, but rather due to a set of reasons.

On the one hand, after being single for so long, you feel a bit like you lose your freedom when you start dating someone new.

Deciding what to do on a Saturday night no longer depends only on what you feel like. Now, in addition, you try to make him happy too and no matter how much it weighs on you, sometimes his tastes and desires can be different.

Before, decisions were an inside job, but now you start to share everything and get a new point of view that maybe you didn’t have before.

Also, if you like him a lot, you must learn to manage those intense emotions of fear of losing him. I have even experienced irrational jealousy, which I had never felt before. I even imagined fictional situations where he was dating someone else, when he wasn’t talking to me.

You’ll think it’s crazy, but it’s a very normal feeling when your partner doesn’t give you the security you need.

What happens is that when a new person appears in your life after a long time, emotions and sensations are stirred that you thought you had already elaborated a long time ago.

But it’s not like that, and this new boy becomes a mirror of all that you still have to work on.

On the other hand, your emotional states and changes now are not the only ones you have to deal with. You also have to learn to manage your mood, or your bad mood, so that they do not affect you and learn to take care of your energy.

What do I do to deal when I feel bad with my partner?

There is no secret formula when it comes to emotions. It is a day to day. But I share my tools for you to consider and apply the ones that you think will work best for you.

much reflection

Everything you read here is part of a great job, that I do every day, to be aware of myself and not escape my own demons, fears or whatever you want to call them.

Maturity brings with it the wonderful revelation that you are solely responsible for your own happiness.

And if something bothers you, it’s easier to see what’s inside you, to understand why that situation or person affects you so much and what you have to work on.

So I invite you to reflect a lot on the things that are making you feel sad and see what you need to elaborate, what you should communicate and what things you should not tolerate.

Learn to accept differences

I know, this is a full-time job.

But it is necessary. In the article: The obstacles that soulmates face, I mentioned the concept of perennial problems, which are those differences or problems within a relationship that will never be solved.

You must understand that there are points on which you will probably never come to an agreement with your partner, and that is okay.

They are two different people who met along the way and who can do a lot of good. But you cannot expect the other to complete you, rather you should choose a partner to accompany you to experience all that life has to offer.

Embracing their differences and accepting day by day.

Detachment

Here it is for me, the big key to healthy relationships. When you finally manage to do an internal process of detachment from your partner.

It does not mean that you stop loving the other, but that you learn to accept the reality that it may or may not be something lasting (nothing is forever) and that, furthermore, you will never be able to control your boyfriend’s feelings and his actions.