Deep conversations, key to well-being

People need to have deep conversations on a regular basis to feel good.. Having someone with whom to engage in that delicate dialogue that helps us reach the basement of our emotions not only pleases and relaxes, but is also a gift for our brain. This is how stress is reduced and the most enriching human connection is built.

Henry James said that in life there are two kinds of people, those we trust and those we don’t.. In reality, we could also point out that in our daily lives we have two types of people, those with whom it is possible to have an intimate and empathetic conversation and those with whom we simply limit ourselves to talking about superficial and anodyne things.

What’s more, to Sometimes we don’t even distrust the latter. There is simply no type of bond that allows us to transcend to share, communicate to touch mutual feelings. Because with those people it is not possible for us to uncover needs, fears and weave those skillful dialogues where ideas, data and occurrences germinate in the second.

To understand it better, it is very possible that we have good harmony with our parents or siblings. We talk about many things with them; However, when it comes to establishing deeper dialogues, we prefer a specific friend or one’s own partner. Being able to count on a person like this, whoever it may be, is a privilege and a refuge for our well-being. Let’s see why.

The magic of deep conversations

Throughout our life we ​​meet many types of people.. There are, for example, the “wall people”, those with whom we can barely connect, those who, no matter how much one insists, are almost impossible to cross to reach that most intimate and emotional area.

In addition, We can also find those men and women who lack filters, those who have no qualms about letting go of intimacies and trusts, as if everyone were a lifelong friend. The worst of all is that they also tend to demand the same from others. These examples are, after all, extremes that it is better not to imitate because they can bring us dissatisfaction and problems.

The best thing to do is to be as demanding as you are cautious when choosing who to have those deep conversations with. Not everyone has a doctorate in the art of listening, empathy and that connection that fits almost to the millimeter with the puzzle of our hobbies, passions, desires and personalities. That alliance where communication flows and comforts is usually achieved with few people.

Finding them will directly impact our well-being.. Let’s see why.

Happiness and its relationship with deep conversations

Matthias Mehl, psychologist and professor at the University of Arizona, conducted a study to discover what types of conversations people tend to have on average.. He showed that a third of them were meaningful, that is, deep conversations where you could connect emotionally, where you could touch on transcendent and enriching topics for each of the parties.

The rest of the communications were not very substantive, the kind that one maintains only to care for and integrate into the daily social fabric. On the other hand, a detail that became evident is that Those who maintained these deep dialogues had greater physical and psychological well-being. What’s more, these people described themselves as happier, more satisfied with their lives.

Good conversations change your brain

Deep conversations are an alchemy of pleasure for our brains. In fact, the well-known humanistic psychologist Carl Rogers already said it: there is nothing more stimulating than a good dialogue to generate changes in the person, to awaken strengths and promote well-being. He discovered it every day in his therapy sessions, but any of us also experience it in those talks with someone and a good cup of tea or coffee.

If this magic arises, if that machinery where dopamine, serotonin and endorphins flow is awakened in us, it is because the brain rewards us for those moments of connection. Good communication reduces stress, alleviates the buzz of worries and quells anxiety.

This same conclusion was reached in a study carried out at the Basque Center for Cognition, Brain and Language (BCBL). In this work, something fascinating was also discovered: deep conversations generate a synchronization of the brains of the interlocutors. That is, brain waves function at the same level.

Less talk and more enriching conversations

Currently we have multiple means of communication. Text messages, for example, make it easier for us to feel close to each other, even if we are miles away. However, no matter how useful they are to us, they do not allow us to have 100% deep conversations. We lack the language of the look, the voice, the code of gestures, the pleasure of presence, of the emotions that awaken, emerge and connect.

On the other hand, in a day to day defined by rush, It is vital that we find times and spaces for therapeutic dialogue. These deep conversations, defined by reciprocity, by you and I, by a we that expands and internalizes in turn to heal, need at least an hour.

Let’s avoid empty talks and monologues, Let’s try to have these people every day as a refuge where we can let two-way communication be intelligent and healthy.. All of this will undoubtedly result in our happiness.

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