Ending a friendship is very painful, although sometimes it is not given the necessary attention. Here are some tips to make it more bearable.
Not all friendships are eternal and, just like in relationships, sometimes breakups are moments that cause a lot of pain. This happens especially when a close friendship ends that we considered, in some way, essential in our lives.
With the “more peripheral” friends What usually happens, rather than a big breakup due to a disagreement, is a gradual and gradual separation over time. The damage caused by this type of absence is usually much less and the relationship usually remains a good memory and cordial, even pleasant, treatment.
In any case, always keep in mind that you can take care of a friendship, but sometimes, no matter how much you put in, you cannot prevent the relationship from breaking up. It is a matter of two, even when we talk about a group of friends it can be a matter of several.
Below, we give you a series of ideas so that this breakup does not become a drama and can be carried out in the least harmful way possible.
1. Admit your mistakes
We all make mistakes and you are no exception, but what matters here is that you are able to admit it. There is nothing more frustrating for anyone than arguing with someone who never admits their mistakes. It is common for friends to let us pass on some mistakes that actually hurt them and this is where you should not deny or minimize them.
Think about whether it’s really worth losing something valuable for pride. Not friendship anymore, but good memories…
2. Apologize
Admitting that you’re wrong is a big step, but it usually loses its charm if it’s not accompanied by a sincere apology. It doesn’t have to be anything drastic. All you need is an apology that is as sincere as possible and avoids disguised or direct attacks.
Forgiveness is a very deep act with a great emotional charge. When we truly apologize we are conveying our regret for what has happened. At the same time we also express the desire not to make the same mistake again. Genuine forgiveness is a very profound way to heal a relationship between two friends.
3. Don’t make assumptions
When ending a friendship, focus on what really happened. Don’t be tempted to make assumptions about why the other person did something. You would be surprised at the number of times we are wrong in our speculations.
In a large number of situations we tend to believe we know the reasons why our friends fail us. We end up inventing a story that has nothing to do with reality. This is why it is so important speak from sincerity and clarify what happened before formulating wrong hypotheses.
4. Have compassion
If the friendship ends because the other person hurt you a lot, this point may seem almost impossible.
Keep in mind that surely at some point you have also hurt someone and that doesn’t mean you consider yourself a bad person.
Experience says that we are more understanding of our mistakes than those of others. In the same way that we can act negatively motivated by some specific motivation, our friends can do the same.
Our friends make mistakes too. We hold on to the expectation that they will never fail us, but that is a construct of our minds. The ideal is to know that no one is exempt from making mistakes, this way, if one day it happens, it won’t hurt us as much..
5. Don’t project your insecurities
It is very common for us to project some insecurity onto the other person without realizing it. This means that we believe that our friend is thinking something that he is not really thinking, but that it is actually you who has it in his head.
Avoid questions like: “So that’s what you think of me, that I’m a failure?”. Before you say it, analyze if it is not you who looks like that.
6. Don’t bring up the past
If you decided to end a friendship, it is very important that you focus on the present. Argue, talk, feel bad or not, but about current events. Don’t bring into this conversation things that are already a thing of the past.. The good and bad moments or memories are better not to touch.
7. Don’t involve other friends
Can feel tempted to talk to other friends to corroborate your story, that gives us the feeling that we are not wrong in the judgment we have made of the other person. However, along the way we can do much more damage than we imagine.
Don’t force others to make their judgments because that will ultimately make you look bad. On the other hand, avoid spreading any rumors. Things are not always what they seem.
In conclusion, We emphasize that this process can be painful and difficult, especially when it comes to friendships that were solid and very close in the past. However, if you are sure that ending a friendship is the best option for both of your well-being, it is best to accept the separation and move on. Keep in mind that you can still meet and surround yourself with people who add more to your life.
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All cited sources were reviewed in depth by our team to ensure their quality, reliability, validity and validity. The bibliography in this article was considered reliable and of academic or scientific accuracy.
Argyle M, Henderson M. The Rules of Friendship. Journal of Social and Personal Relationships. 1984; 1(2):211-237.Berndt T. Friendship Quality and Social Development. Current Directions in Psychological Science. 2002; 11(1): 7-10.
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