Emotional caresses are the best food for the soul

The art of emotional caresses goes beyond simple physical contact. It is caressing the soul with a look, it is speaking tenderly to a child to say “I am proud of you”, it is “I take you into account, I respect you and I love you”, it is the music that gives encouragement to our emotional brain to Learn to value each other.

Eric Berme, psychiatrist and founder of Transactional Analysis, defined emotional caresses as basic units of recognition that seek, above all, to provide stimulation to individuals. We are therefore talking about a type of transaction, a wise exchange where a type of language is inscribed that acts as authentic food for that delicate psycho-emotional universe that sustains and defines us.

No matter how much we defend our independence or that occasional pleasure in solitude, people are social beings by nature, and to survive, to grow in happiness and security, we need this type of stimulus: emotional caresses. However, and here comes the real problem, To this day we continue to be humble learners of the emotional world..

Because as we already know, There are those who spare energy and will in what is called reciprocity.There are also those who for some reason think that they are not worthy of receiving them, and there are, of course, many skillful architects of negative emotional caresses, those that are carried out through sarcasm, contempt and indifference.

The same feelings that a child receives who is not cared for or valued by his parents, the same feeling that a person feels when he does not receive affection from his partner. A topic with many nuances that we want to delve into with you.

The emotional caress in danger of extinction

Affection, like respect, does not need physical contact to be demonstrated or validated.. Emotional caress, for example, is also exercised in the workplace with that manager who delegates his trust in his workers, who reinforces or values ​​them with words of admiration, respect and gratitude. In fact, as Berme said, these types of acts constitute the basic unit of every social act that each of us should know how to apply.

The broader the repertoire of emotional caresses that we dedicate to others and that, in turn, we receive from others, the more enriching and skillful our coexistence will be. However, in this society so educated in modern knowledge the ability to connect with your gaze is being lost a little, to provide verbal reinforcement, to offer the right word at the time of need. Now, emoticons are our great conversational reinforcements, and those that we sometimes resort to excessively.

We should be able to develop an emotional ecology to create more sustainable scenarios in terms of recognition, reciprocity, empathy and respect.. Children, for example, don’t just need emotional caresses from their family. Schools and educators must also be intuitive in this type of reinforcement to curb such common dimensions as frustration, isolation or insecurity.

Likewise, organizations and companies should also be able to create more favorable climates where the recognition and value of human capital ultimately encourages creativity and productivity.

Caress yourself, caress others

Emotional caresses should flow between us like the placidity of a warm wind that goes here and there on summer afternoons. In tranquility, illuminating those who need it, giving wings to those who have fallen down, bringing smiles to those who a moment ago only felt bitterness.

Claude Steiner, author of the renowned book “Emotional Education” addressed an aspect that is worth taking into account: Just as there are people who do not know how to offer emotional caresses, there are also those who simply believe they do not deserve them.. They are people who, at a given moment, and for whatever reason, stopped caressing themselves, that is, they stopped valuing themselves, feeding their self-esteem.

This type of behavior fits into what is known as the “law of scarcity”, that is; do not ask for positive caresses and do not reject negative caresseswhen in reality, we should all live in that opposite world governed by the “law of abundance”, namely:

Offer positive caresses. Accept positive caresses. Be able to ask for positive caresses. Be able to reject negative caresses.

The art of knowing how to put emotional caresses into practice

Emotional caresses are, above all, the craft of appreciation. Valuing someone is showing them “you exist for me, you are important.”

However, and this is worth knowing, Emotional caresses have their dark side. Here we are no longer talking about art, but about aggression and it would be represented by the following actions:

Use emotional caresses as a form of psychological manipulation. Make use of hypocrisy as a tool to exercise power or achieve a goal.

However, and for our peace of mind, In human beings, positive behaviors abound more than negative ones.. Because at the end of the day, this is how we survive as a species: offering affection, tenderness, attention, consideration… So, it never hurts to remember what the principles and benefits of emotional caresses are:

Emotional caresses can be offered anytime, anywhere. They are inexpensive, easy to offer, and cause major side effects. Emotional caresses transcend social class, age, gender, and race. It is something universal. They are the best antidote against fear, frustration, doubts and any psychological problem.Emotional caresses promote mental and emotional health; they are, without a doubt, the best food for the soul.You might be interested…

Main image courtesy of Claudia Tremblay