Compassionate empathy, when feeling is translated into action

If there’s one thing the world needs, it’s more compassionate empathy.. We talk about that dimension where we are not left alone with the feeling that understands, the emotion that connects and the heart capable of moving. We refer to the action of those who commit themselves and decide to help, those who dare to change the reality of others to give them support, affection and authentic well-being.

Lewis Carroll said that one of the secrets of this life is to understand that we are in this world for more than just existing. Human beings are also here to help, so that each one from their particular plot and disposition makes this reality a place a little more noble, a little more beautiful. However, let’s face it, sometimes it’s hard.

And it is difficult, because many of us remain only in the intention and the feeling, but not in the act. Through our social networks, for example, we receive countless initiatives that we support with a single click, sharing or recording our data in certain social campaigns. We are very sensitive to infinite problems in our society. However, sometimes, we do not see what is closest to us.

Compassionate empathy means being able to give useful help to those next to us. However, we are not always able to see that friend, family member or co-worker who at a given moment would need active support. Even more, we can see it, it is true, but sometimes, we do not know very well how to act.

The third type of empathy, the most useful

Compassionate empathy was defined by psychologist and emotion expert Paul Ekman. This idea also helped Daniel Goleman to outline the well-known emotional quotient, that is, that dimension that would help us clarify our level of emotional intelligence.

It is important, therefore, to keep in mind that Empathy is not a unitary dimension, it is not a flat concept where we limit ourselves to understanding that the empathetic person is one capable of understanding the emotional reality of the person in front of them.

Rather, it is a broader and richer factor, one where not all of us would score highly without being given a test to measure our emotional competence. Let’s first see how empathy is explained and what typologies define it.

Types of empathy

First, there is emotional empathy. In the words of Daniel Goleman himself, it is an often contagious and even dangerous dimension when we do not know how to set limits and we become ‘impregnated’ by the suffering of others. It refers to our ability to connect with the emotional reality of another. It is feeling what the other feels and fitting their personal reality. In this process, mirror neurons, our feelings and even our physiological response come into action.Cognitive empathy, for its part, involves using the intellect, of cognitive processes such as attention, reflection, communication, inferences, etc. It basically means knowing how the other person feels, why they feel that way and even deducing what ideas and thoughts may be in the other person’s mind.Finally, we have that great unknown, that often neglected dimension, which is compassionate empathy.. In the words of Daniel Goleman: with this type of empathy we not only understand what a person feels and what their problem is; In addition, we mobilize to help if we believe it is necessary.

What is a person with compassionate empathy like?

The person with compassionate empathy takes a step further in their personal growth. He is someone who perfectly handles the field of human relations. The reason why this is so is based on the following characteristics:

Focused people who know how to respond to each situation

Train and enable our empathy It will allow us, above all, to always act halfway between reason and emotion. This dimension helps us to calibrate each situation from a very focused perspective, where we do not get carried away by emotional contagion nor by that objective logic that understands things but never acts.

In this way, the ’empathetic-compassionate’ person knows how to help at all times, providing the most appropriate support in each circumstance.

Skilled in reciprocity

Successful relationships and the most meaningful bonds are always based on the principle of reciprocity. It’s a you give me I give you constant, is knowing how to attend and respond, feeling in turn deserving of the same thing we offer. Therefore, compassionate empathy is a basic principle of personal well-being, because it is not based only on knowing how to help others. We too can and must receive support.

They know the keys to human connection

Human connection is part of the essence of compassionate empathy. It is knowing how to reach the person with authenticity, understanding their unique reality, accepting them as they are without prejudices, without biases, without double intentions. The connection initiated from respect and appreciation for others also allows us to understand needs and clarify what we can do.

Likewise, and No less important, those who are skilled in compassionate empathy do not limit themselves to helping as if they were a savior. In reality, knowing how to provide support is an art. You have to know what to offer and how, because sometimes what a person needs is not always what they ask for, and that is important to take into account.

To conclude, the Zen master Thich Nhat Hanh pointed out that When we give our presence and full attention to others, they bloom like flowers. It is true, however, sometimes something more is necessary: ​​that we mobilize, that we know how to act correctly.

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