Can a person forget that they were abused?

Cinema, television and popular culture bring us stories of men and women who, at a given moment, remember experiences of sexual assault, suffered especially in childhood. Myth or Reality? Is the human mind capable of completely erasing traumatic experiences for years?

If there is a reality, it is that the human brain is a very efficient “machine.” Suppressing, repressing or hiding what hurts excessively is a common defense mechanism. However, although the memory of that painful event is not directly present to consciousness, it is still having effects.

That means, Although this aggression is “asleep” in the brain, the traumatic event alters the quality of life of that person. No one or almost no one comes out psychologically unscathed from these types of experiences. Personality changes, there are psychosomatic illnesses, anxiety is a constant, as well as irritability, emotional changes…

Sometimes, people keep for years in the deepest basements of our memory traumatic events that we were not able to accept, understand or face at that particular moment.

Forgetting and trauma: how are they related?

There are people who remember parts of their first day of school quite accurately. Also those summers in the town, the eternal afternoons playing in the streets, the smell of chlorine from the pool, freshly cut grass and those first books borrowed from the library. However, they can block scenes with that family member or that teacher who abused them one or more times.

The years go by, and suddenly there is an image, a sensation or a perfume that brings to mind a specific scene. Through the crack of memory, the fragmented, diffuse and disordered memory of that traumatic experience of yesterday emerges.. That which a child is not able to understand, process and accept and which, therefore, ends up encapsulating and hiding under a mental rug; one that memory cannot look beneath.

Thus, if we ask ourselves if a person can forget that they were abused, the answer is yes, although there are nuances. This defense mechanism that encapsulates and hides a certain experience gives rise to what we know as dissociative or psychogenic amnesia. It should be noted that the prevalence is not very high, and that it appears above all in childhood sexual abuse, war trauma, natural disasters…

Dissociative amnesia, forgetting to survive

Dissociative amnesia is a symptom accepted by the scientific community and associated with post-traumatic stress disorder. In fact, the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders (DSM) already gave it as valid in 1980. That is, There are people who forget a violent event, but that imprint always affects their behavior.

In addition, It is interesting to know that there are different types of forgetfulness or amnesia caused by trauma.. Generally, they are the following:

Localized amnesia: only the traumatic event is forgotten.Selective amnesia: This typology is the most common. The victim remembers small fragments of that experience. They are disordered memories that can be combined with false memories.Continuous amnesia: the person suffers a void, there is a blockage from the violent event to the present.Generalized amnesia. It is the most extreme and most unusual clinical condition. The person forgets his identity; He doesn’t know who he is, what his origin is, his family…

The brain changes that prove it

Dr. James Chu, director of the trauma and dissociative disorders program at McLean Hospital in Massachusetts, conducted some very revealing research. In this work he interviewed and carried out several tests with magnetic resonance imaging on a very large group of women who had suffered abuse in their childhood.

The results were the following:

Patients suffering from dissociative amnesia showed low activity in the brain’s amygdala. This region is responsible for modulating the storage or consolidation of memory, in addition to regulating emotional aspects. The fact that its activity is reduced demonstrates an effort by the brain to block memories and repress the emotions associated with the trauma.Slightly lower performance also appears in the prefrontal cortex. This could explain why women who suffered from dissociative amnesia showed difficulties in solving problems, focusing attention, planning…

Those who have suffered a violent event experience changes at the brain level.

What makes a person suddenly remember a traumatic event?

There are multiple triggers that can open the trap door of the painful memory. Sometimes a flashback while having a family conversation. Other times when you see an image, you feel a smell, a sensation or when you simply read something related to trauma.

Now, beyond the blocking of a memory, The person always carries with them more than one psychological problem: depression, eating disorders, relationship problems, sexuality problems, etc. All of these are obvious clues to a possible hidden trauma that sooner or later comes to light.

Likewise, a detail should also be considered. The memories that arise are like a messy puzzle, it is not easy to give them coherence, and false or distorted facts can even be combined with each other.

Ask for help

In case we too have gone through a trauma, or suspect that we have blocked a traumatic childhood experience, do not hesitate to request expert help. Psychological therapy will allow us to remember those events, give them space and presence to work on those emotions, those negative thoughts and their maladaptive behaviors.

The objective is none other than to regain control, to heal those wounds from yesterday to be able to live the present as we deserve. A traumatic childhood does not have to determine or limit our maturity.

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