Be friends with your ex? Look at the reasons to do it or not –

You’ve probably wondered if it’s okay to be friends with your ex. It is common to see many who hate each other after ending a relationship, it seems to be the most normal thing. In fact, there are scientific studies that say that if you are friends with your ex, you are probably a psychopath.

The truth is, psycho or not, being friends after ending a relationship depends largely on your own history. If you have doubts about that friendship, here are some ideas for you to reflect on whether being friends with your ex is the best decision.

Did you give yourself time to mourn the breakup?

This is something you should consider before even contemplating the possibility of a friendship with your ex. You cannot be friends if you have not yet gotten over the breakup and for that, time apart is essential.

If you feel that you are still having a hard time getting over the relationship, take your time alone and take actions to close the cycle without much suffering.

Tips to get over the breakup

– Accept that the relationship is over and it is very likely that they will not reconcile. It is normal that it hurts and that it takes you time to understand it, but the quicker you accept it, the easier it will be to focus on moving forward.

– Make a new routine. At first it will be difficult, since you probably did many things with your ex. He looks for new activities, discovers new hobbies. If you stay busy and motivated, it will be easier to turn the page.

– Know yourself! Focus on you and what you feel. Learn to meditate, reflect on your emotions and discover what you want in this new stage of your life.

If you already ended the romantic relationship, what are you looking for with your friendship?

Ask yourself: Why do I want to keep my ex around? What do I gain from his friendship?

If you notice that your reasons for maintaining the friendship are due to benefits you could receive, such as feeding your ego by keeping him around or because you want to prevent him from moving forward, then it is not a good idea for you to maintain a friendly relationship.

On the contrary, if you do it because you genuinely enjoy your friendship, you want to help, and you are both aware of your situation and draw clear, healthy boundaries, then it is understandable that you would want to enjoy that friendship.

Can you really maintain a friendship without romantic ties?

This is a difficult question, one that you must answer honestly. If you are friends, you should be able to see each other without falling into a sexual relationship or feeling jealous of each other, like a normal couple would.

Are you aware that your ex could move on with his life and find a new partner? If they are friends, you will have to understand that and other changes in their life, can you handle them?

Do you stay friends with your ex to get something?

It’s possible that you have a selfish interest in maintaining that friendship with your ex, but you haven’t realized it yet. If you have doubts about your motives, ask yourself this:

Do I feel guilty because we are no longer together?

If you find yourself offering friendship to your ex even though you’re not convinced you have one, it may be guilt that leads you to keep him or her close. Sometimes it can be difficult to break a person’s heart and friendship is offered as a gift of consolation.

It is not recommended that you maintain a friendship just out of guilt, that will only lead to a relationship that is harmful to both of you.

Can you imagine life without your ex?

Habit is one of the strongest reasons to maintain a friendship with your ex. Even if you are the one who decided to break up the relationship, it is possible that you miss him too much and decide to maintain the friendship to mitigate that void.

Reflect on whether this situation affects them or prevents you from moving forward with your life. Sometimes change can be scary and that’s why we cling to what we already know. But this can close the doors to much growth in the future.

Was he the one who finished it?

If they left you and you are the one looking for friendship, it is possible that you actually have intentions of recovering the romantic relationship and convincing him to come back. If that’s the case, it’s best not to try it.

Friendship should be enjoyed by both and should be transparent. If you have hidden intentions, not only would you be lying to him, you could get excited and then disappointed if he rejects you.

Will it be for fun?

Be very careful if this is the reason you are looking to be friends with your ex. If you are looking to have fun with him, have casual sex or simply to keep things as if nothing had happened, I assure you that sooner or later both of you will be very hurt.

Is it simply out of altruism?

If you maintain a friendship with your ex because you want to support him, stay in his life and because you wish him the best – without any hidden intentions – then that friendship can be a good decision.

Can you be friends with your ex-girlfriend?

A friendship with your ex-girlfriend is not highly recommended, since after a breakup you usually have contradictory feelings that could compromise a healthy relationship. On the one hand you will feel pain, but on the other hand you could have false hopes of resuming the love relationship.

Can you be friends with your ex-boyfriend?

Being friends with your ex depends a lot on how things ended. If it was because of betrayal, it wouldn’t be healthy. The most important thing in any relationship would be missing: trust. But if they ended it because they no longer felt love and it was mutual, they could try to be friends.

Are being friends with your ex signs of a psychopath?

It depends on your motivations. If you do it with a personal and selfish goal in mind, without even thinking about what your ex might feel and you don’t care about the possibility of hurting him, then there could be some signs of psychopathy.

What is a psychopath?

This is a necessary clarification: a psychopath is a person with narcissistic, selfish personality traits. They are charming on a surface level, but are completely incapable of empathy and are often sadistic.

While it is true that all human beings have some of these traits, psychopathy is a branch of personality disorder. Psychopathic people do not feel any type of emotions for others, their actions are based on absolute selfishness.

Now is where the key question comes: Am I a psychopath if I want to be friends with my ex? It depends on your intentions. You may not be a complete psychopath, but if you maintain that friendship out of selfishness or to take advantage of your ex, you may have psychopathic traits in your personality.

What does the phrase: “being friends with your ex is like raising a chicken” mean?

This is a very common phrase to refer to relationships. It means that if you keep your ex around, even if it’s just as friends, sooner or later you’re going to want to eat him up. That is, it is likely that they will have a romantic relationship again because the feelings will flourish again.

It makes a lot of sense. Think about it a little: their relationship first started as a friendship and then turned into something more. This does not mean that it happens in all cases, but it is possible that this change from friendship to love will occur again.

Is it advisable to be friends with your ex to get her back?

Although some say that it is recommended, but I do not recommend it. If that is your intention, you would be approaching with a selfish and hidden interest. Friendship requires honesty and trust. You would be acting like a psychopath because you do it without considering the other.

Can you be friends with your ex-lover?

This is a resounding NO. However the relationship ended, being friends with an ex-lover is even more difficult. These relationships usually have a lot of sexual tension and are based on attraction, so it is difficult to stay close without falling into that temptation again.

Why does your ex want to be your friend?

Just like you, your ex may have many reasons for wanting a friendship. He may feel guilty, he may have hidden agendas, he may be very used to it, or he may want the best for you. The only way to know is to have an honest conversation about his intentions.

If you want to be friends with your ex, you must take into consideration all the things that happened during the romantic relationship and think about what is best for both of you. It can be very tempting to look back and cling to what is known, but it is important that you decide what is best to move forward.

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