9 tips to choose better friends

Friendship is one of the most important interpersonal relationships, but it is also the one in which we can experience the most disappointments. Sometimes, after years of relationship with a person, they can fail us or, suddenly, we realize that they are toxic.

Nowadays, thanks to technology, making friends is much easier, or at least that’s what we think. The results of a survey carried out by the magazine time They revealed that many people did not have close friends. Perhaps the reason is that we don’t know how to choose friends better.

Sometimes, we keep complaining because we can’t find real friends. If we are in this situation, perhaps it is time to learn to choose friends better. Therefore, let’s look at some tips that can help us.

1. Talk about our common interests

One of the first tips to better choose friends is to talk about our common interests. Although in a first approach we may feel sympathy for the other person, it is convenient to have a conversation in which we can realize that we share some hobbies or pastimes.

Why is this necessary? Because we need to make plans with our friends to get to know them even more and strengthen our relationship. In the event that we do not have any leisure that unites us, what is left to do with them? So talk about our common interests It will allow us to find like-minded people with whom to share our free time.

2. Detect if they only look for us when they need us

The second tip to choose better friends is to observe. Identify if they approach us because They feel like making plans and sharing their time, carrying out some joint activity, or if, on the contrary, they only look for us when we need them. We will detect this in a very easy way, because when they want to meet with us it will always be to go get a degree, attend a course or so that we do them a favor.

When this situation continues over time, we will begin to feel bad. In fact, we will realize that we always suggest to our friends to meet for a coffee or a chat. Also, on many occasions, They will not be available to us when we need to talk or vent..

3. How do they treat other people?

This advice is very important and necessary. Even if a person treats us well, this does not mean that they share our same values. that is, the person with whom we want to have a friendship. For this reason, it is essential that we pay attention to how he treats other people. Other friends or even family.

Let’s imagine that we are always very comfortable with a friend, he shares our opinions, we can debate different topics without problems… But, one day with his partner or one of his parents he shows a part of his personality that is opposite to all this.

4. Let’s address controversial topics

Talking about politics, for example, can be a controversial topic with which to put this point into practice. It’s about choosing the most sensitive topics about which we can chat with our friends to find out how they react. Perhaps we will realize that for some they are taboo or that others think that their opinion is the only one that matters.

Addressing controversial topics will also help us gauge the degree of tolerance our friends have. Even if we do not have the same opinion on a certain topic, it is important to listen to and respect the person.

5. He respects you and treats you well

Although this point seems obvious, the truth is that building a safe and caring environment is something to work on every day. Not all people tolerate the needs of others or are capable of respecting the limits set for them (or setting them themselves).

That is why it is essential to be open with our way of being and make clear who we are and what we need from the beginning. Care for others should not be neglected, but the exchange should be balanced.

6. It represents an improvement compared to previous friendships

Throughout your life you will have encountered different people with whom you have ended badly or, simply, with whom you have taken a different path. Like everything in life, you have to learn from mistakes and know better what is expected and what is not desired in a friendship. Choosing new friends should take this point into account.

7. Look for them in different places

To find good friends it is important that you move through different areas. This way you will avoid the limitation of psychological profiles that comes with always searching for people in the same place.

Having a diversity of fields not only will there be more to choose from, but your mind will be more open and attentive when it comes to analyzing in others what you like and what you don’t. Meeting diverse people will only enrich your life.

8. Don’t be afraid of loneliness

Although this advice may seem contradictory, it is a basic idea when it comes to including people in your life. If what moves you to become friends with someone is the fear of not having company, you will let anyone into your life, thus increasing the chances of things going wrong.

What will give you calm and patience to get to know someone and decide if you want to move towards friendship is, precisely, the absence of need for that person in your life. Enjoy your solitude, make it yours and let it disappear only when you want.

9. Let’s not obsess over finding the perfect friend

The last piece of advice is that we should not become obsessed with finding the perfect friend. This will only cause we are always in a constant search and that we feel that we don’t fit in with anyone, as the article indicates The negative consequences of maximizing in friendship selection. We must choose better friends, but not become inflexible people.

Our goal must be choose those people who really contribute to us. Likewise, it is convenient that we analyze the friends with whom we have had a relationship for many years. Are they still adding to us or, on the contrary, now they are only subtracting?

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