The need for recognition, a pillar of self-esteem

We all need to be recognized. It is not a question of pride, selfishness or immaturity. Not at all, human beings, from their earliest stages, need the respect and affection of all those around them, where this sincere recognition of our person is implicit.

With this act our value as human beings is revealed: as someone who is loved and deserves to be loved. Our virtues and our abilities to advance and achieve things are recognized. To be happy with maturity and integrity. Under this essential dimension is also the strength of those bonds of attachment that give us confidence and help us grow.

Our parents, Our family is the first social circle in charge of giving us recognition., respect and affection. If we have this first “substrate”, we will also have the privilege of self-esteem. The one with which to move forward emotionally and personally.

Later, and through social relationships, we will also obtain recognition from friends and partners. However, be careful, just as we accept to receive it, It is also essential to know how to offer recognition to others: “I value you as a person, I appreciate you and I believe in you. I know what you are capable of and I respect you for it. You are part of my life”. Let’s delve into the concept of recognition.

Recognition is worth more than money

To understand the importance of recognition in human beingsit is worth remembering Abraham Maslow’s hierarchy of needs. Thus, once the person has covered the first three levels of the pyramid (physiological, food and affiliation), the fourth level arrives.

Maslow defines this fourth step as the ability to feel good about our own self-concept. And we do it thanks to the way others treat us.

Maslow proposed the existence of two types of recognition needs: an inferior one that would include the need for respect, love and dignity from others and even the desire for fame or status. And another higher one, based on the need for respect for ourselves, which is directly related to self-esteem and self-confidence.

Thus, If I perceive that my most intimate and close environment values ​​me, I will grow with greater security. If my teachers, classmates, and bosses at work appreciate who I am and what I do, I will be using that valuable recognition to strengthen my self-concept and self-esteem.

An example of this relationship can be seen in a study that was carried out at Stanford University to find out what factors the performance and happiness of workers in companies depended on. As curious as it may bethe recognition was more appreciated even than the salary itself.

Recognition and self-esteem

The child who grows up in a safe environment and with a healthy attachment will mature with greater strength and psychological well-being. Someone who is loved from the beginning of their life feels worthy of that affection. Even more, if my environment appreciates me, I understand that I must also respect myself, love myself, value myself…

Now, sometimes, as we well know, this rule of three does not apply. Sometimes we grow up in scenarios lacking appreciation and emotional validation. That is when we fall into the mistake of thinking that we do not deserve certain things. That wound, that of disaffection and lack of recognition, creates havoc.

Therefore, it is important to remember the link between recognition and self-esteem.

1. Recognition reminds us that we deserve respect

Essential. If one does not value oneself and recognize oneself as a capable and important person, we have nothing. Love always begins with the person themselves. If I value myself and am able to see all my virtues and my right to be happy, I will be capable of almost anything. Above all, to bring integrity to myself.

2. It offers me self-confidence

When someone around me (whom I consider important) recognizes my worth, progress and greatness, I gain self-confidence. And I do it because I realize that I am doing things right. I do it because my person and my behavior generate well-being and mutual benefit.

3. I learn to have control over myself

Let’s imagine a child who is constantly punished. It doesn’t matter if he does things right or wrong, the only thing he receives is reproaches and criticism. There will come a time when he will not be able to regulate his behavior because he will not know how to act to do things correctly.

People also need recognition to feel capable of doing things for ourselves. As soon as I perceive that I have potential, I take control in the right direction.

4. Recognition makes me grow

When your family appreciates you, when your friends and partner value you and your work environment recognizes your worth, everything changes.. Self-esteem flourishes and you no longer look at the world from lack, but from possibility. You feel good about yourself and your vision of yourself improves. You stop comparing yourself, you stop feeling insecure and you start believing with greater confidence.

On the other hand, and in case you did not have or have this gift, that of recognition from everyone around you, you need to do the following: and Look inside yourself, look for the strength that we all have and embrace the lifeline of that self-recognition., the one that tells you that you are a brave person. That you deserve the best and that love always begins with yourself.

The need for healthy recognition

As you can see, we have been talking about an essential recognition that underpins the concept of self-esteem. Although we also have to make a small nuance. Surely you know one or more people who They always seek the recognition of others.

They are people who expect their actions, their words, their behaviors, their attitudes and even their physique to be valued. When these needs become almost obsessive, we would be talking about an unhealthy recognition.. The one who seeks on the outside what he cannot find on the inside.

That is to say, as we have pointed out previously, it is essential that recognition also starts from one’s own inner strength. It is not necessary for others to recognize that I am a person of integrity and courage. I don’t need every moment and every hour tell me how well I do things. I know it too, because I have learned it.

It is true that all We need friends, family and partners to offer us recognition. But not in an obsessive and continuous way. Because then, what I will be showing is a clear insecurity in myself. And then, a pillar of my self-esteem will be breaking.

Recognition is vital for human beings. Helps us grow safely. But it is also essential that we exercise it within ourselves, making it rise like an internal locomotive capable of giving us confidence, strength and stability.

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