5 tips for those who are dependent on friends |

One of the greatest achievements a person can have in life are the friends made along the way. They are the ones you can count on in good times and, especially, in times when nothing seems to be going right. However, sometimes the feeling of friendship can end up turning into an excessive need to be close, like a kind of addiction to the other person. If that’s your case, it’s worth questioning how healthy it is to be dependent on friendships.

For psychotherapist Celia Lima, some people can only see themselves through the other. The specialist believes that in adolescence there is a need to identify with the group, as this makes young people feel stronger and more accepted. The problem is when the person ends up stuck in this phase of life, and starts to believe that he can only be happy if he is with his friends.

“Two people can be great friends without one needing to be fully present in the other’s routine, which causes the individuality of both to be lost. If one of them realizes that they are no longer able to live without their friend, whether in person, over the phone or on social media, it’s time to reassess the quality of that friendship. This can be done through a good and delicate conversation about your feelings, with the aim of making the friend realize that you need to air out the relationship, and even time to miss it”, advises Celia.

If you still find it difficult to practice detachment and be less dependent on friends, how about enlisting the help of natural therapies? Check out tips on Aromatherapy, Chromotherapy, Feng Shui, stones and more belowwhich can help you to face friendships more lightly – and detached.

Essential oils help to work detachment

There are some essential oils that help to practice letting go. According to holistic therapist Solange Lima, the most suitable are: Cypress, Cedar and Cinnamon. The expert explains that Cypress helps in ending relationships, providing comfort and clarification. Cedar already helps to close cycles, strengthening self-esteem. Cinnamon, in turn, renews and declutters, burning negative feelings and stimulating positive ones, in addition to cleaning up the sorrows in relation to the other. To help clear the mind and organize thoughts, Lemon essential oil can be used in conjunction with the oils mentioned above.

“The best way to use the oils is in a personal air freshener, as it is always with the person, as it is a necklace. But it is also possible to use Aromatherapy in electric diffusers, which can be placed in all environments at home or at work. To do this, add 1 drop of Cypress or Cedar and 1 drop of Lemon to your favorite flavoring and use the synergy for two weeks. The following week, use 1 drop of Cinnamon and 1 drop of Lemon”, teaches the specialist.

To work on self-esteem, self-love and “addiction” to friendships, other oils can be used. Solange Lima gives the tips below:

Petitgrain: works on self-esteem, inner glow and self-confidence.
Roses: works on self-love, forgiveness and self-forgiveness, in addition to self-esteem.
Carrot: works the sorrows, resentments and helps to heal emotions.
Myrrh, Fennel and Geranium: to work addictions, such as dependence on a friendship.

“Just use 2 drops of the oils above in your personal air freshener or 5 drops diluted in water in an electric diffuser or candle (rechaud)”, advises Solange.

Colors in favor of detachment in friendships

Using colors can also help you practice letting go of friendships. Holistic therapist Solange Lima teaches that green is the most suitable in these cases, as it brings balance and serenity. Another possibility is to use orange, which stimulates courage to face this change. Violet color can also be used to transmute negative actions and thoughts that may arise.

“The indicated colors can be used on clothes, accessories or during Chromotherapy sessions, but always with the guidance of a specialized therapist. Another tip is to drink solarized water in green, orange and violet colors, drinking one every week”, explains the therapist.

In cases of detachment, the first step is to try to minimize anger, hurt, and resentment toward the friend or group. For this, pink is one of the most suitable. “You can imagine a pink light coming out of your chest, in the thymus region (between the lungs) and emanating this light throughout your body, bringing much love and understanding. Take the opportunity to practice, at this moment, forgiveness and self-forgiveness. At the beginning, it may be difficult, but from the moment you are willing to try, everything becomes easier”, points out Solange.

So that the colors help even more in this process of detachment and recovery of self-esteem, it is worth doing a Meditation with the colors green, pink and violet. See below the step by step suggested by Solange Lima:

Choice a quiet and reserved place. Put on some very soft music that helps you concentrate and relax.
Sit down in a comfortable position. If you prefer, it can be on a chair or, if you’re used to it, you can sit on the floor. The important thing is to keep the spine well elongated and erect.
Start with light breathing, inhaling and exhaling slowly and pausedly, promoting deep relaxation.
Focus in green color and imagine with each exhalation that it is coming out of the top of your head and emanating to your whole body down to your feet, as if it were cleaning your energy, your heart and your mind. Right away, view the pink color coming from the top of the head and going down to the feet. As you move toward your chest, imagine the color cleansing and energizing your heart. With each in-breath and out-breath imagine all the negative emotions flowing out of you through your feet.
finalize Meditation visualizing the color violet in the same way. Imagine it entering the top of your head and running down to your feet, transmuting all negative energies, emotions, hurts and resentments.

Feng Shui helps to throw away what no longer serves

To work on letting go of someone, you need to clean up items that no longer serve you. At least that’s what Feng Shui expert Cris Ventura guarantees. According to her, this cleaning should be general, including clothes, toys and even household items, such as plates and pans. It’s worth seeing if there are excess pots, packaging, boxes and bags in your home or in any environment you frequent. Also be sure to throw out expired food, beauty and hygiene products and medicines.

“This act of taking out the old to make room for the new is a practical, physical and mental exercise in detachment. As you do, you can envision friendship and relationship circles renewing themselves. Thank old friends and release them, keeping only the good times. So, leave some empty spaces at home for new opportunities and good friends to happen. If self-confidence is lacking, have large mirrors in the bathroom and elsewhere in the house, such as the entrance hall. They help to reinforce your intention for new opportunities to arise and the act of looking at yourself and believing in yourself”, explains Cris.

Flower essences increase self-confidence in friendships

Florals can also be a great option for those who want to increase confidence in themselves and work on detachment.

Check below the remedies that naturologist Giane Honorato recommends for those who are going through the process of leaving a friend or group of friends:

Red Chestnut (Bach): Works on insecurity and excessive zeal. It is indicated for those who are so attached to the other person that they end up not respecting the limits of the relationship.
Chicory (Bach): reduces the need for attention from others.
Bleeding Heart (California): works on broken heart, possessiveness and dependency.

To improve self-confidence and strengthen individuality and your own limits, check out Giane’s tips for floral remedies:

Larch (Bach): it mainly works on self-confidence, the notion of one’s own potentials and the ability to overcome obstacles.
Emilia (Floral de Minas): works on individuality, confidence and awakening the inner voice.
Cerato (Bach): works on confidence in intuition, individuality and connection with one’s own essence.

“To find your floral, you need to go to a compounding pharmacy. But it is important that the person has the follow-up of a professional specialized in the subject, as he will be able to identify the ideal floral, the quantity and frequency with which it should be taken. In most cases, the advice is to take 4 sublingual drops, 4 times a day”, clarifies Giane.

Still according to the expert there are no contraindications for the use of florals, but people should keep in mind that they can bring many emotions to the surface and, consequently, cause emotional discomfort. Because of this, Giane reinforces the need to follow up with a specialist, so that he can accurately say what is best for each person.

Amethyst and Smoky Quartz promote detachment

According to holistic therapist Simone Kobayashi, Amethyst removes egocentric thought patterns from the mind, teaching humility and promoting detachment. It is a stone that consoles the person who needs to go through a transition, such as the end of a very strong friendship. For this, just use it on the Frontal Chakra (forehead), from 10 to 20 minutes. Another possibility is to take it in hand during those moments when you need more serenity.

Another indicated stone is Smoky Quartz, which helps to accept the responsibilities of transforming your quality of life. The stone gives the necessary incentive to change what is needed, be it a friendship dependency or the bad feeling of the loss of a friend. Smoky Quartz can be placed where you see it most, such as on your desk or at the head of your bed. You can also carry it with you if you prefer.