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Forgiving someone behind closed doors is simple. But giving our most sincere forgiveness to a person who has caused us pain is not always so easy.
From a young age, we are instilled with values such as forgiveness. And it is not by chance, since Knowing how to forgive is a valid ability to regain emotional balance. Not only for the good gesture towards the other person, but also towards ourselves. And since we consider it so important, we would like to give you a few keys to learn to forgive.
After all, it is not advisable to always live under resentment and revenge. We have all suffered wrongs. And even the heaviest and most painful ones deserve to end in forgiveness. What they say about “an eye for an eye, and we will all end up blind” could not be more true.
Knowing how to forgive in many cases is nothing more than a question of attitude. Beyond our words of forgiveness, a sincere feeling is necessary that opens the door to repairing the pain. Among the many benefits of forgiveness is the peace it produces on all sides.
Learn to forgive
Although it may not seem like it, learning to forgive is not that simple. As we say, forgiveness must go hand in hand with a sincere feeling of closeness to the other person. That’s why we want to leave you here a few keys that may be useful to you:
Comprehension. It is clear that we will never be able to forgive someone if we do not truly understand what motivated their actions. No matter how much the offense has hurt us, a minimum of empathy is essential to sincerely forgive a person. Humility. Another important point is humility. In order to empathize with a person who has hurt you, it is necessary to get rid of certain prejudices and feelings of superiority. It is true that you are the victim in all this, but without that humility it will be difficult to reach forgiveness.Generosity. Since someone who forgives someone cannot expect anything in return, forgiveness is a great gesture of generosity. Never lose sight of that. Love. The concept of love may be difficult to marry with a person who has hurt us. Try to think that those who have the greatest capacity to harm us are the people we are close to. For this reason, forgiveness usually goes hand in hand with love.
It is advisable to always keep this series of concepts in mind, since they are indivisible from a capacity such as forgiveness. Also, remember that a conciliatory attitude is essential to really approach a person who has caused you some kind of pain.
Why forgiveness is good
There could be many reasons why forgiveness is positive. One of them is that allows us to look forward and continue moving forward. It is difficult to progress if the obstacles in front of us are hatred and resentment.
In order to empathize with a person who has hurt you, it is necessary to get rid of certain prejudices and feelings of superiority.
In fact, forgiveness helps maintain self-esteem and let go of painful events from the past. Forgiving reduces the fear of being deceived and rejected, as well as increasing self-confidence. For all this it is so important to learn to forgive.
Forgiveness must also be attributed the ability to free ourselves from events that steal our energy and affect personal performance.
Keys to forgiving someone
Now that you know how to achieve sincere and heartfelt forgiveness, we will give you a series of tips that will help you forgive a specific person:
1. Get rid of resentment
With resentment, it will be very difficult to forgive anyone. Besides, resentment soon gives rise to a need for revenge that the only thing it will do is distance us from the other person.
2. Remember the past
Forgiveness does not mean wiping the slate clean, but recognize the damage caused and repair it. We will never be completely at peace, no matter how much time has passed, if we cannot remember the event without any type of resentment.
3. Learn to listen
It is easy for us, when we feel hurt, to close ourselves off and not listen to what the other party has to say. And if we do not open that channel of communication, it will be impossible for forgiveness to appear anywhere.
4. Believe in the other person
This also means have faith that the other person will recognize and learn from your mistakes. At the end of the day, forgiveness is nothing more than a second opportunity to learn from mistakes made.
5. Recognize the damage
If we are not able to recognize the damage that has been caused to us, it will be difficult to forgive. It is very common that as victims we do not fully recognize the pain we have felt. But it is essential if we want forgive the other person from the heart.
The importance of forgiving yourself
Finally, we want to talk about the need to forgive ourselves. At the end of the day, it will be useless if we develop that capacity outwards and not inwards.
We all make mistakes, and if we are not able to forgive ourselves for them, it will be difficult to be in harmony. And when we are not at peace with ourselves, Interpersonal relationships can become very complicated.
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All cited sources were reviewed in depth by our team to ensure their quality, reliability, validity and validity. The bibliography in this article was considered reliable and of academic or scientific accuracy.
Burggraf, J. (2003). Learn to forgive. Presentation Family Congress, University of La Sabana-Aspaen-Corpaf, Bogotá.Prieto-Ursúa, M., & Echegoyen, I. (2015). Self-forgiveness, self-acceptance, or intrapersonal restoration? Open questions in the psychology of forgiveness. Psychologist Papers, 36(3), 230-237.Zalles, C., & Zavarce, P. (2004). Forgiveness: a liberating experience that leads to well-being. The Strengths of the Venezuelan. Venezuela. Alfa Publishing. 1st Edition. pp, 109-23.
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