Make no mistake: I’m alone but I don’t feel alone

Make no mistake: I am alone but I do not feel the emptiness of loneliness. So don’t feel obliged to feel sorry for me, don’t label me, and even less look for a partner for me. I am where I want to be. Because being alone is much smarter than sharing life with the wrong person.

As we can see, the solitude that is sought or needed at a given moment is an aspect that is very little understood socially. In fact, even Aristotle used to say that only gods or beasts love to be alone. However, French moralists of the 18th century, such as the Marquis of Vauvenargues, explained that Solitude is to the soul what diet is to the body: something we should practice from time to time.

Learning to be alone and enjoy it from time to time is something that, indeed, we should all achieve. In fact, those who do not achieve this must often face the difficult task of filling spaces, healing fears and alleviating insecurities in the worst way: occupying other people’s lives or anchoring themselves to the first person who passes by them.

Anything in order to defend oneself from that demon called loneliness or the inability to be with oneself. It’s not appropriate. We suggest you reflect on it.

I’m alone, but I’m fine

“I’m alone now, but I’m fine like this.” This phrase, although it is becoming more and more common, continues to give off a certain need to have to justify ourselves, to make it clear that even if they see us living alone, without partners or without anyone by our side, it is a pleasant solitude. A chosen experience that we enjoy, even if others don’t understand it.

Times change, there is no doubt. However, The image of a single woman is not perceived in the same way as that of a man without a partner. It’s as if time passes faster for them, as if they were urged to do everything as quickly as possible to adjust to a socially imposed biological clock: have a good job, find a good partner and soon become a supermom. .

Now, as we say, Times change and women are no longer obsessed with searching. Many prefer to be found. Others put aside biological clocks to follow their own mental and emotional compasses.

They can find fulfillment with a partner, no doubt, but if that relationship fails, they are capable of continuing their course. Because they are responsible for themselves, because they do not fear loneliness. It is a reunion with oneself, and that always heals. Always comforting.

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You are not alone, life surrounds you

When we have a single friend we always try to find the opportunity for them to meet someone. We told him that it is not good to be alone, that falling in love is always worth it, and that life is much more beautiful if you walk hand in hand with someone. There are certain popular beliefs that interpret being alone as a small failure, something that must be solved. “Don’t worry, you’ll find someone.”they tell you.

Now, it is very possible that that friend tells us that “I’m alone and I’m fine like that” and may our friend answer us that “Now he doesn’t want to know anything about that.” Some will understand it and the majority will see it strangely because generally, Loneliness is never seen as something viable but rather as an unfortunate setback.

If we think about it for a moment we will realize something: In reality we are never alone, life surrounds us. Furthermore, most of us have our own group of belonging, family, friends, colleagues, etc. A partner does not always save us from loneliness, nor is it there for it. Sometimes, it even brings us closer for the first time to the darkest abyss of this dimension, such as emotional loneliness, for example.

Learn to be with yourself

Learning to be with ourselves is essential to always feel in good company. As teacher Thich Nhat Hanh states: “Practicing solitude is being present in every moment, without getting attached to the past, without letting yourself be carried away by the future, much less by the people around you. If you enjoy the deep joy and happiness that loneliness gives you, you will have much more to give. If you don’t know how to be alone, you will feel more and more empty.“.

No one is alone if they learn to love themselves. Because We all live in our minds, because thinking, dreaming, projecting and feeling is anything but a solitary act. We are dancers in our own inner worlds. We are healers of wounds, executors of forgiveness and architects of our destinies.

So no, make no mistake, I am not alone because my life binds me, because my illusions are destroyed. I have stopped being afraid of fear, I am a satisfied tenant of my interior spaces and I attend to the future without anxiety, knowing how to take advantage of my present.

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