Anesthetizing yourself in the face of pain means giving up love

If there is something we avoid feeling, fleeing from fear, it is undoubtedly emotional pain.. We fight not to face situations that are painful and we end up anesthetizing ourselves in the face of emotions. What happens with this anesthesia is that it is global and has its consequences.

Have you felt your difficulty in loving, entering a state in which you do not know if you really have the capacity to feel love? Don’t worry, this is also common for the rest of us. It represents a state of confusion, with an underlying fear of the possibility of becoming insensitive.

But fear not, You have the capacity to love and you have simply had to build a wall to defend yourself from all possible dangers and fears. that invade you. All the alerts have gone off in you, they are based on the experience of other painful situations, and consciously or unconsciously you try to prevent them from happening again.

Avoiding suffering and pain

Although suffering and pain are not the same, we try to avoid both experiences. However, avoiding pain is not a good idea, since it is a natural process that we have to go through in situations that make us sad or cause discomfort. We have all, at some point, gone through suffering and fed it, when the only thing we had to do to get rid of it was to surrender to the pain for as long as we needed.

Pain helps us grow and develop, and suffering helps us stagnate.. That is why it is important to differentiate one from the other. Since entering into pain means experiencing the experience, feeling the emotion, to finally let it go and release it naturally.

Suffering appears with the denial of pain and emotional distancing. We prevent our wound from healing and scarring, we stagnate, turning our pain into unnecessary suffering. Giving ourselves permission to feel the pain, without necessarily dwelling on it, allows us to face the experience and continue moving forward, in addition to preventing us from getting stuck in suffering.

Disconnection by protection mechanism

There are moments we go through that could have been so painful, that they have caused us to develop a specialized mechanism to disconnect. of our emotion, of our body, and to cool down to avoid entering where we already suffer. This can even lead to dissociation, when we are not able to accept reality due to the emotional impact it has on us.

When there is the possibility of an unpleasant situation similar to the one we have stored in our experience history, our survival system protects us. Behind this artificial protection our most distressing fears are hidden, such as the fear of abandonment, loneliness and rejection.

This avoidance and cooling of experiencing certain situations that put us on alert may be determining our lives:

Avoiding the risk that love entails.The insecurity of trusting those around us.Relate with caution, staying superficial.Maintain relationships in which we are mainly motivated by interest, in what we can get from people, using them as instruments for our purposes.Create a hostile universe, in which survival and competitiveness reign. .Lack of self confidence: pleasing, seeking recognition and avoiding expressing one’s own needs.

Emotions and feelings are our compass

Emotions and feelings are all we haveWithout forgetting that we are human, we have no choice but to surrender to the experience of living. Which means daring to experience pain, if we want to fully feel love.

These sensations – feelings and emotions – are our precision compass, since they tell us how we feel at all times.. They let us know that we are not empty shells, but rather enriched by an extraordinary inner world. A cosmos in front of which we have two options: make the most of it and abandon ourselves and surrender to experimenting or cut off all relationship with it.

It is up to you and no one else to decide whether to show yourself vulnerable or protected, and to take the step and dare to dive and swim following the course of the river of life. or on the contrary, you will stay on a shore watching the current pass by without you being a participant, without taking advantage of the possibilities that only dedication to the experience is capable of bringing you.

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