How to identify your psychological needs in the present

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Identifying your current psychological needs is very important to focus your decisions on the most sensitive or relevant aspects for you. How to do it? Here we give you a route to achieve it.

A person’s psychological needs change over time and their circumstances.. Although basic needs are maintained throughout life, each one takes on a different intensity in relation to factors such as age, personal experiences, specific context, etc.

The point of view of self-determination theory is widely accepted, according to which There are three basic psychological needs: competence, relatedness and autonomy.. For specificity purposes, these needs can be subdivided as follows: need for certainty and comfort; of variety, meaning, connection and relationship, growth and contribution.

The truth is that although these psychological needs are always present, at each stage of life they are lived in a different way.. It is possible that at a given moment the need for connection and relationship is most important, but later the need for meaning becomes relevant. And so on.

How to identify what your needs are in the here and now? There are four questions that will help you identify them.

«Many of us, most of the time we do not listen to ourselves, but rather we listen to the introjected voices of mom, dad, the system, elders, authority or tradition..

-Abraham Maslow-

words of encouragement

Let us insist: basic psychological needs are always present, but at a specific moment one of them may become important. One of the ways to identify the core of the reflection is to ask yourself this question: what were the words of encouragement that touched your soul the most during the last year?

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By answering this question, you open the way to work on two aspects. One, what you have been struggling with and struggled with. Two, the importance you give to support in that aspect.

The important thing is that you think about why those words were so meaningful to you.. How did they impact you? If you have not received that gift, think about that situation in which you would have liked to receive it.

The compliment you crave, a key to your psychological needs

We rarely think about the compliment we would like to receive. Or, rather, we don’t do it consciously. Deep down, we all feel proud of something we have done or achieved and we would like others to recognize it. It is possible that we have not considered it so directly, but by exploring a little we will detect it.

By following the trail of the compliment you long for, you will reach the need for recognition more heartfelt. In addition, this will give you an idea of the way in which you are projecting yourself and the quality and reciprocity in your relationships with other people.

Why do you think they don’t notice it? What causes this lack of positive feedback? How much does this lack of recognition affect you?

The recorded wisdom

At this point you should ask yourself: What is the main learning that I learned in the last year, based on a mistake task? The key is not to think about it too much. Refer to the first experience that comes to mind: it is what stuck with you the most, even if there were more relevant learnings.

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Your current psychological needs are likely associated with that event.. What we encourage you to explore here is both what led you to the error and how you resolved it. In circumstances like this, quick decisions are usually imposed and what happened is not always assimilated. If you dig a little deeper, you can give a more solid meaning to what happened.

The feeling of shame

Finally, you should ask yourself the following: When was the last time I felt really embarrassed about something? And most importantly: why? The feeling of shame is closely associated with the way you evaluate your performance in a situation and the weight that other people’s opinions have in your life. That is why it is important that you think carefully before responding.

In terms of psychological needs, shame refers to the three basic ones: competence, relationship and autonomy. It helps you find the clue to the issues that are most sensitive to you, in terms of your relationship with yourself and with others., including possible imbalances or cracks that compose it. What would you have needed to feel competent in that situation that embarrassed you?

Once you have asked yourself the four basic questions, identify which one impacted you the most or made you reflect.. Think about the psychological needs involved and try to specify which of them are a priority for you. Thus, we encourage you to take it into account in your next decisions.