Where you cannot love, do not delay

Ending a relationship does not have to be understood as a failure. The “failure” of our emotional autonomy would occur if we insist on continuing with an unhealthy, unproductive relationship lacking evolution. That is, a relationship in which it is impossible for us to love with purity and intensity.

Because, as the fantastic Frida Kahlo once stated, it is better not to linger where one cannot love. And what we don’t let go, we carry. What we carry weighs us down. And what weighs us down, sinks us.

Starting from this basis, it is essential that we understand that Fear and doubt are normal and often accompany us throughout our lives. But, above all, it must be clear to us that love at any price is a way to commit emotional suicide.

Knowing how to close stages, a step of emotional maturity

It is difficult to specify when we should close stages. The truth is that many times relationships fall victim to the weight that generates discomfort and that feeling of being trapped. One of the first symptoms is emotional claustrophobia: drowning in the relationship and feeling that you need to fly, that you have lost your autonomy and that there is no point in continuing like this.

Depending on how we plan to solve this situation (that is, if we have motivation to do so), the emotional conflict could be resolved in one way or another. It is very easy to see ourselves trapped in this nonsense and go around and around without finding a way out.

To alleviate this anguish there are no magic recipes, since it depends on the confluence of attitudes, experiences, feelings and expectations that we decide to take one step or another. Each person has to examine themselves and truly determine what they do and do not do to change the situation, as well as contemplate what they would like to do.

In these decisive moments, the fear of emptiness usually threatens us in the form of deep pain. This fear of leaving is normal, which is why it is essential to investigate what we want and are willing to do, as well as the motivations of the other member of the story.

If we decide to fly we have to keep in mind that it is probably not what initially keeps us calm. In fact, saying goodbye requires great courage due to the uncertainty and pain generated by leaving the castle that we had formed with the intention of demolishing it.

It is about putting a stop to pain that may be avoidable. Let’s talk about a couple, a friendship or any other type of relationship, Sometimes it is necessary to put an end to disappointment and disenchantment because they have no solution.

From time to time the snakes they shed their skin. To get rid of its old skin, a snake chooses to walk over two nearby stones that squeeze its body, scratch it and help it eliminate that layer that it no longer wants. Naturally, this transit is not pleasant; In fact, it causes them pain, but This action helps you get rid of what is already worn out to make room for the new.

When we have to shed our skin and say goodbye, the new beginning can plunge us into great anguish.. Let us not forget that we are widening spaces to offer ourselves rebirth. Suffering is inevitable when it comes to closing some doors, but doing so is synonymous with loving yourself.

It’s about visualizing our life differently, being brave and changing the locks.. Because at the end of the day what counts is that, knowing how to evolve, allowing ourselves the stability and adapt the temperature of our life to our needs.

Once you have done it, do not focus on what you have lost but on what remains to be gained. Remember: Don’t settle for being “almost happy.” Don’t finish bad books. Leave the movie theater if the movie is not good. Leave the restaurant if you don’t like the menu or the prices. Look up and consider other paths if that is not the right one. Time doesn’t return, don’t put a price on your well-being.

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