4 teachings of the Tao to handle difficult people

Within the teachings of the Tao there are also wise advice for treating and managing difficult people., to those presences that steal our energy and that often block our paths. According to the principles of Lao-Tse, in these cases it is best to maintain serenity, empty oneself of negative emotions and remove power from those who enjoy taking away our calm.

If we take a look at the latest publications that talk about how to improve our communication style and how to achieve success at work, there is a frequently repeated theme: the need to learn how to handle difficult people. Now, we are aware that this label gives its name to a small disaster drawer, and that therefore It is important to define, first of all, what we mean by difficult personalities.

Within the world of business and coaching, it is known that to survive in our social contexts, we must forcefully coexist with very specific personality profiles. We are referring to passive-aggressive people and narcissistic people. They are presences that swarm in almost any scenario, that make use of verbal abuse, manipulation and that sometimes, its mere presence already clouds us.

In recent years, a large part of the publications that aim to teach us how to handle these types of situations are nourished by the teachings of the Tao for several reasons. The first for its good management of emotions, the second for the proper management of those states with which we can, ultimately, confront the abuse of power, set limits and improve our communication styles.

It does not matter that Lao-Tzu’s texts are so many centuries old. This legacy continues to be very useful to us.

1. Control difficult people without having to fight with them

Within the teachings of Taoism, the simile is extolled that living is like flowing through a river. Letting ourselves be carried along its course without resistance is part of that harmony that we should all enjoy.

Now, concepts such as struggle, confrontation or resistance are the antithesis of that idea, of that concept where we are simply encouraged to move forward with courage and flexibility. So, Whoever chooses, for example, to make use of discussion, of constant insult with difficult people, will only achieve greater discouragement. and tremendous frustration.

Opting for “non-fighting” does not mean giving up or allowing ourselves to be overwhelmed.. It means, above all, not giving power to those who do not deserve it, choosing wisdom over violence and opting for calm before opening the floodgates, wide, so that anxiety floods us.

2. Empty your cup of negative emotions

Difficult people often ruin our day with a single word or comment.. No matter how irrational their message is, the inappropriateness of their actions affects us no matter what. One of the pieces of advice that the teachings of the Tao convey to us is that the less reactive we are, the more space we will have to use judgment.

Let us therefore try to control anxiety and negative emotions. Once the difficult person has carried out his maneuver, we will count to 10 and take a deep breath.. No one has the right to ruin our day, so we will empty ourselves of anger, spite and bad mood, one by one…

The mind must remain like a clear room, there where the polluted wind enters through one portal and disappears the second through another.

3. Be proactive, not reactive

Difficult people sometimes make us victims of their unhealthy arts. Little by little, we accumulate so much hatred, discomfort and frustration that we run the risk of reacting in the worst way. It’s not appropriate. Sooner or later we will regret that reaction and especially not having set limits previously.

The Tao recommends that we learn to be proactive. What does this mean exactly? It means that We must learn to take control of events instead of watching things happen.

One piece of advice that the teachings of the Tao propose to us is that every time we see a difficult person, we try to put ourselves in their place using the following phrase: “it must not be easy.”

This phrase can help us understand many things: “It can’t be easy for my coworker to dislike everyone, to have so little patience and so little control of his emotions.” “It must not be easy for my brother to be unemployed, in debt, and also having such a complicated character.”

Understanding the perspective of others will allow us to be prepared to better control the situation. It will make when we are ready to provide help… it be more timely, and when we make constructive criticism… it will be more accurate and motivating.

4. The strength of bamboo

Sometimes it happens, our circumstances with difficult people reach a limit and we are not only cornered, but we feel defeated, even completely humiliated. In those moments, The Tao recommends us to visualize a bamboo.

They too bend, they too receive the impact of the fierce wind that wants to control them and have them under its power. However, this never happens, because bamboo derives its strength from its flexibility. The fact that it bends makes it have greater strength to react.

We can do it too. When we feel that we have reached the limit, it is time to rise up with greater strength to generate change. We will not use violence, because strength is not violence, it is the ability to respond, it is knowing how to position ourselves with courage. before those who dare to turn us into something we are not: weak people.

In conclusion, The teachings of the Tao contain wonderful embers of knowledge that continue to ignite our capacity for learning, enlightening us with their temperance to handle the complexities of today’s world with greater wisdom.

Let’s learn from them and apply them whenever possible.

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