The stages of the attachment bond

Attachment is the emotional bond that the child establishes with his or her reference figure, the one that provides care, security and protection. It is, therefore, a survival mechanism. Some authors even refer to this emotional bond as our psychological immune system. Now, how does it develop? What are the stages of the attachment bond?

Although there are many theories that define and explain attachment, the most important and referential is the one developed by John Bowlby. For this psychiatrist and psychoanalyst Children come biologically pre-programmed into the world to form bonds with others for the purpose of survival. Therefore, he believed that all behaviors involved in creating and maintaining this bond were instinctive.

On the other hand, it is important to keep in mind that the attachment bond will not disappear over time, but rather In some way it will influence us for life in the rest of the relationships we establish. Hence the importance of developing a secure attachment based on feelings of trust and protection.

Stages of the attachment bond

Bowlby’s evolutionary model contemplates establishing four phrases for the creation of this emotional bond. Usually, These phases of attachment are especially notable in the relationships between mother and child, Although it is true that sometimes this bond can also be created between a main caregiver and the children.

Next, we will explain how the establishment of this emotional bond evolves from Bowlby’s perspective. Let’s delve into the different stages of the attachment bond.

1- Pre-attachment phase

This first phase occurs during the first six weeks of the child’s life. The little one generally easily accepts any human being who offers him comfort. That is to say, He doesn’t show a preference for anyone in particular.

In this stage, The child’s repertoire of innate behaviors helps him attract the attention of adults. In addition, it responds to external stimuli and seeks to provoke physical contact.

At the moment, maternal recognition is very rudimentary in the baby. He still does not show a very strong attachment bond, but the first signs of it begin to be seen towards the end of the phase.

2- Training phase

After 6 weeks, and up to approximately 8 months, the child begins to feel anxiety if separated from other human beings. Even so, he still does not particularly notice the maternal lack nor does he completely reject strangers.

In this phase begins to guide his behavior and respond to the mother clearly. However, although not being close to adults may make him angry, he does not yet show a special preference for his mother.

3- Attachment phase

From 6 or 8 months, and up to approximately two years, is when the phase of the attachment bond itself arrives. Now he really feels angry if he is separated from his mother and may even suffer from anxiety because of it.

Right now, It is not strange if the baby shows physical rejection of other people that are not his mother, since they pose a threat to him. In this way, all of his actions are usually focused on a call for attention from her mother figure, since he demands her presence.

4- Phase of reciprocal relations

From 24 months onwards, the fourth and final phase begins, called reciprocal relationships. The little one already understands that the mother’s absence is not definitiveso if all goes well, you will be able to calm your own anxiety.

Furthermore, in this phase language appears, with the child being able to have mental representations of his mother. Thus, he predicts his return, understands his departure and return, and tends to cry less in his absence. He may even show the ability to deploy strategies that help you agree on arrivals and returns home.

Finally, once all the stages of the childhood attachment bond have been overcome, a solid relationship is created between both parties. Physical contact is no longer so necessary, although at some point there is a search for the mother’s presence to feel safe. However, the child knows that even if there is no contact, her mother will respond when she needs it.

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