Can you decide to stop suffering?

It is true that people suffer, we have a very bad time, it hurts us… and we want to stop suffering. Each person, according to their own scheme of values regarding life, relationships and the world, decides how to behave and how to act.

Just as we also decide how to think, and of course, this can influence our feelings. Sometimes, completely unconsciously, we get into a vicious circle, from which we do not know how to get out.and where each time, we find more suffering and unhappiness.

“Happiness or unhappiness is not measured from the outside but from within.”

-Giaccomo Leopardi-

The consequences of suffering

When things do not happen as a person expects, they can suffer for it. When suffering, you can become blocked, paralyzed and complain about how bad everything is going for you.

This is how you will feel like a victim of everything that happens to you. Feeling this way convinces her that she can’t do anything, that everything is lost, that nothing is worth it…

AND It is this attitude that fuels suffering, which serves as fuel. In this way, it can continue indefinitely, revolving around it, creating a vicious circle from which it is very difficult to get out, if not impossible… The feeling becomes deeper and deeper and creates more anguish.

“Maximum unhappiness, like maximum happiness, modifies the appearance of all things.”

-Johann Wolfgang von Goethe-

Stopping suffering is possible

The suffering is there, but it is in our hands to leave the suffering behind. It will largely depend on our attitude and the effort we put into it. It may be true that things are not going well, but it is no less true that they can change.

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But also we must be aware of the need for change, that if we continue doing the same old thing, it is likely that the same old thing will continue to happen. There are things that only we, with our efforts, can achieve and, sometimes, stopping suffering is one of them.

But how to get it?

A good way to start is by repeating and implementing a series of encouraging phrases.:

To stop suffering, I have to break the vicious circle where I am and which maintains the suffering…To stop suffering, I have to break with defeatist thinking and attitudeshopeless, and negative, that are preventing me from moving, moving forward, and looking for solutions…To stop suffering, I have the keychanging everything that doesn’t work, looking for different and more creative solutions…To stop suffering I have to proposeI have to love it and I have to do my part…To stop suffering, I have to accept the reality that I have had to livebeing an active part in it, proposing solutions, looking for new ways out…To stop suffering, I have to get out of my “comfort zone”which is the known, the usual, the comfortable, because this is making me suffer…To stop suffering, tI have to change and then what happens to me will change…To stop suffering, I have to explore, take risks in new thingsproject new ideas, discover a different world…To stop suffering, I have to overcome lazinessstart walking even if I don’t have the strength, stand up, go out into the street, make an effort and get strength from where it “seems” there isn’t any…

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All the people who stopped suffering, know what I mean, all of them, decided one day to embark on a new course and discovered that when they stopped suffering, they began to live. Dare to stop suffering. Nobody says it is easy or that the path is short, but it can be achieved and what awaits you at the end of that journey is worth it.

Acceptance

It is also important to know that many times external conditions cannot be changed. In this case we must learn to accept that we do not have control of everything. Through acceptance the color of the glasses with which we see life will change..

Accepting is not agreeing, they are not synonyms. Acceptance means recognizing that there are certain aspects of life over which we have no control. Once we internalize this process, we free ourselves from a great emotional burden. We will stop being obsessed with control and we will begin to be freer.

“If something has a solution, why so much concern? If you don’t have it, why so much grief?

-Shantideva-

We tend to hold on to our expectations about how our lives should be and how things should unfold. Acceptance also means letting go of these expectations.this way, if something happens differently than we had imagined, the suffering will be much less.