11 Unfortunate Phrases Every Fat Girl Has Heard

Fatphobia, like other forms of prejudice, is to assume that all people who have a certain characteristic behave in a negative way. In this case, it is to assume that every fat woman is sedentary/ sick/ lazy/ ugly/ slovenly. The truth is that, most of the time, fat girls are just as worried about weight – or more so – than a thin girl.

As a well-balanced fat woman, I can say that the following comments do not improve anyone’s self-esteem, nor do they help to reduce prejudice (or weight, if you ask me).

1. Oh, your face is so beautiful!

OK, that was meant as a compliment, but what wasn’t said – and was implied – is that your body, unlike your face, is ugly.

I thought, but didn’t say: “Thank you, but I have so many other qualities besides my physique, such as education.”

2. You have to lose weight, you know… For health!

The intention seems good behind this one, but assuming that the person is sick just because they are a few kilos above what they consider ideal is really prejudiced. Also, no one turns up to an unknown person out of the blue and makes a hunch about their health.

I thought, but didn’t say:Come here, do you happen to stand in the food court telling everyone in the fast food queue that frying and excess fat are bad for you? Perhaps it will have more effect.”

3. You shouldn’t eat so much, it’s bad…

While that may be true, would you say that to a skinny person? Think about it: maybe your “doing harm” speech is just disguising that you think the person is fat and should eat less. But who can say what someone else’s body should or shouldn’t be like?

I thought, but didn’t say: “And are you the one who pays for my plus size pants?”

4. “I had to be fat…”

It’s as if someone’s weight defines their personality or how, being fat, a person is fatally destined to do the wrong things.

I thought, but didn’t say: “And you had to be prejudiced.”

5. “She looks great, but she gained weight”

When you put the “but”, you make it clear that it is a situation contrary to “being great”. But why would putting your standard to the other and getting fat always be a bad thing? Think about it…

I thought, but didn’t say: “He must have gained weight because he is too happy to count calories.”

6. This weekend, I made a fat

As if going off the diet was just a fat thing! After all, only a fat woman can be out of control when it comes to eating (#irony), right?

I thought, but didn’t say: “If this weekend you went off the diet, don’t blame fat people for your emotional outburst…”

7. How beautiful, you’ve lost weight!

In addition to only relating thinness to beauty, this phrase is very impolite. Unless you are sure that the person was on a diet with the aim of losing weight, weight loss is not always associated with positive factors.

I thought, but didn’t say: “I’m sorry, sweetheart, I was always beautiful!”

8. She’s not fat, she’s cute

Denying the word fat and using diminutives in its place puts the person as if he were in an unfavorable situation. As if the fact that she wasn’t thin put her in a position of pity. Or, saying that she is just cute can imply that she is not “as bad as a fat one”.

I thought, but didn’t say: “Fluffy, no honey, fluffy is a gummy bear. She’s fat and there’s nothing wrong with that! She is neither better nor worse than anyone else.”

9. She’s pretty, but she’s chubby

Usually the person who says this doesn’t even stop to think before speaking. It means that she thought that woman was beautiful, but since being fat is “forbidden”, she had to make the addendum of “but she’s chubby” – although, maybe she doesn’t even think it’s ugly to be fat.

I thought but didn’t say: “She is pretty AND fat AND your opinion is irrelevant in her life…”

10. Only those who want to be fat

You see, there are several factors that lead to overweight, one of them is genetics. Nobody can say how easy or difficult it is to lose weight for someone else, after all, each body is unique and acts in different ways. Not to mention that this phrase implies that all fat women (and only fat women) are lazy and lack willpower.

I thought, but didn’t say: “Your bias is also optional, you know?”

11. But that’s okay, because men like to have something to pick up

Guys, hello! You mean that after all that, you’re still going to say that a fat woman is only good because she can fill a man’s hands? In addition to being sexist, this phrase reaffirms that old stereotype of the sexualized fat woman, which is also not cool. Not to mention that, in addition, it still offends skinny girls. It’s not cool to try to break a prejudice forming others, ok?

I thought, but didn’t say: “So let them pick their own ass, because I’m not at their mercy just because I’m fat. Thank you, you’re welcome!”