11 reasons NOT to marry him, even if you think he is the one –

Have you reached that point in the relationship where you are already talking about marriage, but thousands of doubts begin to invade your mind? Between the expenses of a wedding, life as a couple, and the pre-existing problems that come with it, are you wondering if he is really the right man for you?

Therefore, to help you see more clearly at this very decisive moment, we have selected for you the 11 signs that warn you that your partner is not the one for you to marry.

What to do if you arrive at the altar with doubts?

If you have arrived at the doors of the altar with doubts, it is best to think about it a little more. Likewise, and even if on the contrary you are convinced that this man is the ideal for your life, it is worth stopping to meditate a little on those not so positive aspects that may seem inconsequential to you today, but that in the not too distant future They may be intolerable to you.

Marriage is a serious, important decision that must be made in the most mature and conscious way possible, that is, you must be clear about your feelings for the other person, but you must also be sure that that person has the necessary characteristics. to be your partner and build a life together, which involves long years of company, projects and a common family.

For a marriage to be really good and last over time, it requires much more than love, it requires commitment and the certainty that both are going in the same direction, otherwise frustrations and failure will be constantly lurking behind the door.

Usually when we are in love or we are afraid of being alone, it becomes difficult to see objectively if the other person is really the one, or even knowing that he is not, we can maintain the vain hope that love will make him change. right after marriage. But be careful, getting married is not and has never been the solution to relationship problems. Much less have a child.

Marriage is a life commitment that two adult, conscious and mature people assume to share their journey through the world. This logically implies love, but love properly understood, truly healthy love. It also implies respect, consideration, friendship, empathy, trust and another series of values ​​that if they are not present in courtship, it will be really difficult to make them emerge in married life.

Sign number one: he lies pathologically

Lying is one of the worst things that can happen to a relationship and the person who resorts to it is usually a manipulative, self-centered or fearful person.

If your partner has lied to you on more than one occasion and continues to behave this way even if you discover it again and again, you should know that he or she will most likely never stop doing so. Lies can cause any type of relationship to collapse because they undermine what is most important: trust.

The liar by nature lies to hide his flaws, his mistakes, which makes him an unreliable person. He lies to make everyone look good but in reality he is not able to do anything he says. This person has serious self-esteem problems and hides them through his egocentrism, seeking not only for everyone to pay attention to him but also boasting about attitudes and achievements that deep down he knows he cannot achieve.

These types of lies can lead to worse ones, such as those lies that are only intended to manipulate. A person who cheats to prevent the other from walking away or just to have you by their side is manipulating you and, what is worse, is abusing you on a psychological level.

Then lies follow out of fear. The liar, upon being discovered, continues to lie as a defense, trying to cover up his falsehoods with more falsehoods. At this point he falls back into manipulation and also into egocentrism because he is only interested in himself and not in the damage he causes to you.

If you are with a lying man, the best thing you can do for your own good is to take a step back and walk away. You don’t want to build a life where everything is fake.

Sign number two: serious financial disagreements

When a couple cannot agree on how to manage income, the entire future is shaken. At first it may seem like stinginess or mistrust, but if you are on the verge of marriage, it is logical that you at least know their type of work, how they get money and how much income they receive, and also that they manage to agree on its administration, not only his, but also yours, since from now on the income belongs to both of you, regardless of who earns more.

If your partner is not honest enough with you about money, or they do not have the same positions regarding its management and savings, the marriage will be involved in possible unpayable debts or a lot of dissatisfaction on the part of someone. Remember that one of the things that can break down a marriage the fastest are financial problems.

So, if while in a dating relationship you have not yet talked about these issues or they seem elusive and doubtful, it is best to reconsider the decision.

Sign number three: you are unable to accept feedback

Living with another person logically implies that at certain times criticism or feedback will arise about some attitude or action. If your boyfriend is not able to accept criticism, even made in the most cordial and respectful tone, and refuses to listen, then he is assuming a childish attitude and it will be very difficult for you in the future to reach agreements with him that imply his co-responsibility.

The worst thing is that not listening to your point of view also disrespects you and makes communication impossible, and the secret of a lasting marriage, apart from love, focuses on communication.

Sign number four: exerts emotional or physical abuse

One of the most common causes of divorce is physical and psychological abuse, generally exercised by the man on the woman, rarely the other way around.

To have a stable marriage, there must be mutual respect, consideration for the other person and love; those who love do not mistreat or harm the person they love. So if you have been involved in a situation where you have been manipulated, psychologically attacked by your partner or even beaten, the best thing you can do for your own good is to end the relationship and get out of there.

Sadly, the majority of women who are attacked in their relationship begin a vicious circle themselves from which it is difficult for them to escape. It is a manipulative game where the man attacks, apologizes, swears that it will not happen again, grants a grace period where everything seems to go wonderfully, and then, at the slightest displeasure and even for the slightest foolishness, he attacks again.

For many it is difficult to realize this, especially at first when love makes them believe that change is possible. But believe us, if this man who swears love to you, then he says mean things to you, yells at you, makes you feel bad, he plays with your emotions and hits you, you should literally run for your life. Marriage will not improve this situation, on the contrary, it will be your way of locking yourself in a situation of abuse from which you will hardly be able to escape.

Sign number five: abuse drugs

A person who abuses toxic substances is not mentally capable of making good decisions and the worst thing is that it can pose a risk to yourself.

It’s one thing to have occasional drinks, or go out for a while on a Friday night with friends and have a few beers, and quite another to get drunk all weekend or every day. And on the subject of drugs it is even worse. People who consume any type of narcotics create dependence and as this increases their need becomes greater, which makes it very difficult for them to get away from them.

It takes a lot of willpower and a very strong support group for a person to overcome their addiction to alcohol or drugs, and even if you think that your love is strong enough to resist and support it, you must be clear if you really want to invest many years of your life rehabilitating a person without the real guarantee that it will happen, wearing yourself out and even postponing other plans, such as having children.

Sign number six: you do not assume your responsibilities

You know that a man is irresponsible when he does not keep his promises, constantly invents excuses to justify why he did not do something, and ignores the responsibilities he has assumed.

An irresponsible man is still a child who has not finished maturing and who has to be told things many times to see if you can get him to do something he should. This is a very exhausting situation and it is good that you ask yourself if the man you want in your life is a spoiled and fickle child to whom everything has to be done, or if, on the contrary, you are waiting for a man who offers you his support and is capable of assume their responsibilities to build together the life they have planned.

Think about it carefully, because irresponsible people are not only those who stop doing the things they should, but also tend to blame others for what they themselves did not do and manipulate the situation. So in the end you would be to blame for him not doing things and you would end up in a toxic situation of manipulation and emotional exhaustion.

Sign number seven: you are not their priority

It is true that marriage is not a cage or a prison, neither of the two has to always be attached to the other to show love, of course not, in fact in a healthy relationship each one must also have their space to meet with friends and Do activities that you like and that perhaps the other person doesn’t, such as exercising or supporting charity work.

But what should not happen is that he never takes you into account, much less makes relevant decisions without you. Yes, of course he can decide what kind of food to surprise you with one night, but it’s wrong to decide to invest all your savings in a new car without consulting you first.

Decisions as a couple are vital to keeping any marriage afloat, as they not only show that both are responsible for the future of the relationship, but also the love they have for each other by putting each other first before making decisions or before simply dating. with friends forgetting the date they had planned.

Sign number eight: he is possessive and violent

A relationship becomes toxic very quickly when one of the parties is possessive. The common denominator depicts men as possessive, although there are many women who are also possessive.

If you can’t see your friends one afternoon, or go out to talk with a childhood friend, if even visiting your parents turns into a conflict where you have to ask for permission and even almost beg for your freedom, you are not in a healthy relationship. . Coming to marriage in these conditions is crazy because it would be like signing a very poorly understood slavery act and not a sworn declaration of love and respect.

Marriage requires mutual trust, knowing that the other can come out and that nothing will happen that negatively affects the relationship because they both love each other and trust in their love.

If your boy argues with you and forbids you to go out with your…