We all want to be in a healthy relationship. Nobody dreams of dating an emotional vampire or an energy thief. But sometimes, you may not realize that something — or someone — is draining your energies until you’re too tired to do anything about it.

Relationships are far from perfect. But constantly feeling exhausted is not normal, and it’s a big red alert that you should heed.

Here are some things that show your relationship is draining your energies:

1. It’s all about your partner

Relationships should be about equality. If your partner dominates every aspect of your shared lives, you may be in a abusive relationship.

2. You live like you’re walking on eggshells

Relationships are made to be peaceful. If you’re in a relationship, you should feel relaxed and free, and like you can share anything with your partner.

If it gets to the point where you need to constantly watch every move you make, you could be in an abusive relationship that is draining your energies.

3. Do you feel like you are being controlled in everything you do?

In a healthy relationship, each person has their own freedom. In an abusive relationship, you may feel controlled all the time. Your life may seem to be under a microscope and subject to constant criticism.

If you think you need your partner’s permission to do simple things, that’s a sign that you need to review your concepts.

4. Being with your partner has never been as bad as it is now.

There’s nothing wrong with wanting to spend time alone. But for the most part, partners should enjoy being around each other and feel comfortable when they are together.

Read Also: 5 Signs You're Dating the Right Person

If you’re having trouble doing this, it’s a sign that you’re dating someone who is draining your energy.

5. You are in a constant negative mood.

Have you ever noticed that you’re always in a low mood? Is positive thinking impossible to unearth? Do you feel that all the joy has left your life?

According to research done by a team at Carleton University, relationships that are draining your energy don’t necessarily mean you’re always sad, angry, or in a horrible mood. What they usually cause is an absence of happiness or joy, leaving you feeling like you’re having a depressive episode.

Take a moment and reflect on your mental and emotional state. Are you really as good as you pretend to be? Or is your partner draining your energy to the point that it’s sucking all of your positive emotions?

6. You stopped investing in your life.

A healthy relationship gives all parties a chance to practice self-development. This can come in the form of:

career building
Make new friends
enjoy new hobbies
try new things
balance your life

But if your partner gets upset when you decide to take time to improve yourself, this is a bad sign and means that he or she is draining your energy.

A mature and healthy relationship involves support and progress from both parties. A drain hinders your progress – and you deserve the best!

7. Your self-esteem is declining.

Feeling good about yourself is very important. If you’ve noticed a sharp decline in your self-esteem since the beginning of your relationship, you need to take a step back and analyze where it’s coming from. If it’s not depression, anxiety, or some other mental condition, it could be your partner’s.

Read Also: What can you do to not fall into the relationship routine?

SEE: DOES YOUR PARTNER HAVE DEPRESSION? 14 WARNING SIGNS YOU CAN’T IGNORE!

Emotionally draining partners may often criticize you, or take a swipe at your insecurities and successes. These people are highly insecure and do these things to lift themselves up at your expense.

In a good relationship, you will lift and support each other. Constant criticism and judgment are unhealthy in any relationship.

8. There are constant fights (and you always take the blame)

Fighting is a normal part of relationships, but if every day is dominated by arguments and arguments, something is wrong. Fights and arguments are incredibly draining to begin with, so dealing with them will often take a toll on your health.

If your partner tends to instigate arguments and ignores your attempts to demean the situation, he is emotionally draining you.

9. You feel like you’re not being heard and your needs are being ignored.

The main point of partners is to be there for each other, listen to each other, and meet each other’s needs when possible and reasonable. If your partner always seems deaf to what you say, this is a sign that your relationship may be draining you of energy.

When you talk about your day, your partner seems to pay more attention to your cell phone. Or when you talk about your problems or concerns, you are dismissed and invalidated. When you ask him/her to meet your needs, he/she says it’s too difficult, even when it’s something simple.

Feeling lonely is a very tiring experience, especially if you are pouring your heart out and getting a terrible response each time. If communication doesn’t improve, it may be time to get up and leave.

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10. You feel drained.

Sometimes the easiest way to tell if your relationship is draining your energy is to see if you’re exhausted all the time. Feeling constantly tired, especially when you’re with your partner, is never a good sign.

If you invest a lot of love and effort in your partner and he doesn’t return anything, you will be burned out.

Be aware of your energy levels and emotional state. If negative periods are linked to time with your partner and positive periods are linked to time away from them, then the problem is with your relationship.