Zombieing, when the one who left us without saying anything “comes back to life”

In recent years, we have become familiar with terms such as ghosting (disappear from someone’s emotional life without explanation) or with orbiting (cut off the relationship with a person, but continue interacting with them through social networks). However, It seems that now we are “almost forced” to integrate a new word to this list: zombieing.

Regardless of whether we like this series of Anglo-Saxon nouns more or less, there is an undeniable fact. Giving names to these phenomena closely linked to the world of new technologies is already a necessity, because these media They have changed our way of relating and, above all, of building (and destroying) our relationships. as a couple and also as a friendship.

Zombieing defines a type of behavior that may be familiar to us: it refers to that person who made us ghosting and who miraculously “returns to life.” He also does it through a text message, a simple WhatsApp or a comment on our social networks. Someone, whom we considered missing, returns to our present again with total normality and with a purpose: to revive the relationship.

Beyond the singular (or bizarre), the term zombie does not fail to reflect a reality that occurs too frequently. And what is worse, these dynamics generate great suffering.

If having to accept the inexplicable disappearance of a person to whom we were emotionally attached is already hard, facing their return plunges the person into a very peculiar crossroads.

Let’s delve into it next.

Zombieingthe return of those who left without saying goodbye

One is immersed in one’s work, in a moment of leisure with friends or, even more so, sharing life with one’s current partner and suddenly it happens. We receive a notification on our mobile, we take a look and there it is.

Someone who was important to us and who decided to stop responding, without any reason for us, returns to our present with joyful festivity, with innocence and even with subtle charm.

He does this, generally, through some very common phrases, such as: “Hi how are things? How’s everything going for you? I miss you”, «Hello, I have seen you in your Instagram photos; you’re great Would you like to meet for a drink? When this happens to us firsthand we are experiencing what is known as Zombieing, a term coined in 2016.

Likewise, these zombies of the 21st century They have the unusual, and almost supernatural, ability to return just when we have overcome the mourning for their absence.. We have rebuilt our life with emotional plasters, with dressings and stitches trying to heal the wound due to its lack, due to that ghosting that left us almost fractured and, suddenly… They knock on the door.

What is done in these situations? It’s more… What kind of profile is behind the phenomenon of zombieing?

Fuel seekers for your ego

The person accustomed to practicing zombieing (behavior that occurs equally in both men and women) does not make its stellar appearance on Halloween.

The real zombie actually emerges when it is hungry. His desire to nourish his starving ego causes him to seek contact with the person who, at a given moment, gave him what he needed most: admiration, affection and attention.

We could label them as narcissists. Also as immature people lacking empathy. However, in this type of behavior multiple processes actually come together. One of them is the fragility of relationships. It is not necessary to have any personality disorder, other than resorting to the clinical area We must see it as a social behavior, an increasingly widespread pattern.

Whoever left one day for no reason does not need any excuse to return. He does it because he does not value ties or relationships, because he does not have a heavy conscience nor does he see any problem in his behavior. For someone who was once a ghost and now returns as a zombie, everything flows and moves according to desires and needs. Love is disposable, it is used, it is thrown away and it can even be recycled if you want.

If that ex-partner comes back into our life after a while after leaving us, he or she does it basically to reinforce his or her ego. and because surely, its immediate reality is not very stimulating. He needs new reinforcements and therefore expects us to nourish him as we did before.

Before him zombieingIt is best not to open the door.

Suffer zombieing often puts us in a complicated situation. The wounds open again, the balance that we had achieved after that absence is altered and, above all, anger and surprise appear. Because these people who return to our lives do so fresh and shiny, seeking to attract our attention… as if nothing had happened.

What should we do in these circumstances? First of all, be cautious. We must not lose perspective, no matter how tempted we feel when reading those messages., those audios, those invitations that evoke days and moments gone by. Because his return is never casual or innocuous, the zombie always demands something, always returns hungry and is skilled at opening already healed scars.

If it must be of any use to have experienced the experience of a ghosting It is to not let something like this happen to us again. Love is not about ghosts or zombies; Any relationship that hurts, hurts and extorts is not real, we do not deserve it and it is better to establish distance.

So, The best thing is to ignore these messages, block their entry into our lives and protect, above all, the sacred territory of our hearts..

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