With the blindfold I tied a bow in my hair

In one way or another, we all end up doing it: taking off the blindfold to tie a bow in our hair with it.. Because at the end of the day, that is how our face looks most beautiful, where the gaze is free, illuminated and wide awake to discover reality as it deserves, without veils.

Ortega y Gasset once said that “Love is like a kind of temporary imbecility, a state of mental anguish and psychic angina.” It is possible that the famous philosopher, in his eagerness to seek an explanation for human affections, did not see much logic in falling in love and that “blindness” that often traps us as in a sweet dream. However, beyond what we may think, it does have logic and great sense.

Dr. Robert Einstein, from Harvard University, tells us that the Living for a time with a blindfold on our eyes, whether in our emotional relationships or in another type of personal dynamic, is part of our psychological and emotional growth. We should not, therefore, regret this period, all the energies invested, the dreams conceived or the emotions experienced. Doing so would imply denying a part of ourselves.

Actually, love is not blind, what happens is that, on some occasions, it sees more than it should: You see mirages and distorted images that sometimes do not correspond to reality. Seeing life from the heart sometimes has its price, we know, but this is another part of our life learning. Something that we would never acquire if we refused to love, to try, to experiment, to take those leaps into the void without a parachute where sometimes we are completely right, and other times we are left a little broken.

We suggest you reflect on it.

Your blindfold, the one you’ve dropped more than once

Sometimes we take off that blindfold more than once. Far from making a definitive bond with it to be able to move forward with our faces held high and our eyes awake, we return to making the mistakes of yesteryear; that is, loving blindly, trusting in the dark, groping and leaving our hearts in other people’s pockets. Why do we do it? Why do we sometimes become repeat offenders of the most captive and painful love?

The persistent hostages of harmful love, those who become attached to the same stone over and over again, suffer from a fairly common ailment: lack of self-love.. After all, the world is not strategically arranged for us to constantly encounter “bad people”, traffickers of selfishness and abusers of emotional balance. Only when we are very clear about what we really need and what we don’t, will we be more selective, more cautious and receptive. Because When you know well what you want, you find what you deserve.

According to a study published in the “United Kingdom National Statistics Office”, People report finding what they had always hoped for after their thirties and especially in their forties.. It is when one feels more confident in oneself and is able to integrate the experience of past relationships, with the serenity of a present where nothing is missing and nothing is left over.

That’s when you look for something more than falling in love or passion. We are looking for love, self-realization with a partner and a common project in which to invest with maturity and honesty.

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Love with open eyes and protected heart

The most evolutionary biologists are clear about it: That emotional chaos that puts a blindfold on us, that traps us, that accelerates our pulse and takes us to labyrinths as dark as they are exciting, has an end: procreation.. According to this approach, our genes predispose us to it when we fall in love: the mirror neurons connect us and instantly, real fireworks explode in our brain with the color of dopamine, testosterone, vasopressin, oxytocin and serotonin… All of this catapults more still the attraction.

In addition, Another aspect that neurologists point out to us is that passion puts, in “standby” some processes as important as the sense of discrimination, logical analysis or even, to a certain extent, the sense of judgment. Our mind takes on a “tunnel shape” to focus on what is important, that emotional partner.

Love without bandages, infatuation with veils

Erich Fromm said, very correctly, that there are people addicted to being in love. They delight in this phase described above, in this blind, bubbling and almost anesthetic love like an authentic island of Circe. However, when the maturity phase arrives where they work on differences, accept defects and establish a common project, they move away.

As this same author points out to us in the book “The art of loving”, Authentic wisdom, true emotional plenitude is not in falling in love, it is in love. Because when we fall in love, we delight in that deep connection, that intimacy where giddiness is mixed with the most intense passion. All of this is positive, there is no doubt, but the real adventure comes later, with that artisan love that attends and listens, who is aware of the other person’s defects, their imperfections, their dark corners. The mature person is someone with wide-open eyes and a protected heart: he sees things as they are, and decides to fight for them to be a beacon of intense light in that love, a refuge to rebuild between two.

If you still haven’t found such a person today, there’s no rush. It is enough to braid your sadness, tie a high bow in your hair and look at the world with the certainty that in the end, you will find what you truly deserve.

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