Keys to raising happy children

Is there any way we can guarantee the happiness of our children? There is absolutely no magic recipe that guarantees that children can become completely happy adults tomorrow. But As parents and educators, we can establish some bases, some guidelines that will serve as a starting point, from which they develop their social skills or emotional security.

We must also be clear about another aspect: Until adolescence, parents will be the maximum reference figure for children. The figure of the mother, the father, and also the grandparents in many cases, become those reference models from whom to learn and from whom to feel safe through the indispensable attachment relationships.

1. Communication

It doesn’t matter that the baby doesn’t know how to talk yet. The education of children begins from the moment of their birth. Establishing routines, guidelines, habits and speaking to them at all times in a calm but firm tone will help the child learn from us.

Answer all his questions, address his concerns, ask him what he thinks, what he feels even if he is only two or three years old. Establish a continuous interaction where you are always the same. The discrepancies, the contradictions, cause a certain frustration in the child.

If we must give orders, let them be firm and clear. And one by one. Orders will always be accompanied by good communication and argumentation. Explain what purpose they have, since we must make the child understand at all times what we expect from them with consistency, and above all, without falling into contradictions.

2. Emotional intelligence

We can teach them to read, to ride a bicycle, to cross green traffic lights and to learn the capitals of each country. But we must also attend to their inner world. Talking about your own emotions will offer you essential skills for tomorrow, not only to understand yourself, but also to understand others.

It is normal for children to have tantrums, anger, attacks of rage… investigating what is behind these behaviors will help them understand what they feel and how to channel it. We do not want children cloistered in their own rooms pending only on their computers and mobile phones. We want children to have relationships, to interact with the world and with themselves. You have to get them used to talking about their problems, knowing how to seek help. and this can only be achieved through trust on a daily basis.

3. Democratic education

Children will move in different contexts and They must learn that in every space there are limits and established rules. If we make it clear to them and tell them what they can and cannot do, they will integrate the message that things will not always be the way they want and when they want.

Children with low resistance to frustration are usually the unhappiest because they never get what they want. To avoid this A democratic education must be established, with norms that are discussed among everyone so that they are more understandable. Norms and rights are always negotiated. Children must show us that they are capable of doing things and that we can trust them, this is how they will mature little by little, when they know their rights and duties.

4. Freedom, imagination and respect

Each child will be born with a type of personality and a type of needs, trying to change them is a mistake. You may want your son to pursue a university degree, to become a doctor, for example, but we must know how to attend to his inclinations.

They must be given the freedom to choose, respect their limitations and also value their successes. When you sanction one of their behaviors, don’t just focus on what they did wrong, tell them how they should do it right. Respect and a good education must play with both aspects: punish the negative but provide opportunities for improvement.

Encourage his imagination whenever you can, give him learning opportunities, serve as a guide to teach him new things that he can be inspired by. Offer him the freedom to find his way, making him understand that you will always support him no matter what he chooses.

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