Authoritarian mothers: what are they like?

Just as there are authoritarian fathers, there are also authoritarian mothers who exercise emotional severity, who are in favor of the “slap in time”, of the shout that stops the feet and the threat that does not let it be. This type of upbringing and education always leaves short- and long-term consequences. However, if it is exercised by a woman, certain particularities may be added.

We cannot neglect the importance of parenting style in the development of children. Thus, whoever opts for authoritarianism also chooses the way in which he will relate to his child (through superiority), the way in which he will communicate with him (through orders) and what he will expect from the child (obedience). None of this is coincidental and whoever chooses these dynamics always responds to several reasons.

Thus, Whoever uses imposition, authority and intolerance in daily dealings as a parent reveals a rigid and inflexible mind. The lack of empathy, existential frustration and the need to have everything under control almost always demonstrate insecurity and weak self-esteem.

Characteristics of authoritarian mothers

Is there really any difference between authoritarian fathers and mothers? Does the imposing and severe education exercised by a woman have any particularity? The truth is that – on average – it seems so. We have research, such as those carried out at the University of California, for example, that provides us with relevant data regarding this trend.

Apparently, When a child grows up in an environment governed by authoritarian motherhood, he or she experiences greater emotional deficiencies. This emotional coldness can be even more incisive than that exerted by an authoritarian parent.

In many cases, mothers are the first attachment figures in children’s lives and when that bond is nourished by hyperdemand, coldness and punishment, the consequences can be more traumatic.

Let’s now understand what the profile of authoritarian mothers is and what the consequences are.

The hyperdemand that hides the feeling of frustration

One of the traits of authoritarian mothers is the excessive demands they apply to their children.. Many may point out that it is good for a child to have firm rules and to demand certain things of him or her. It’s true, but everything has a limit.

For a start, Women who exercise this authoritarianism very often hide frustrated desires. Perhaps the life they have now is not the one they aspired to in the past. They may have failed to achieve a goal, their professional development may not be as expected, or their emotional relationship may not be the happiest.

These and other dimensions often trace a feeling of failure that is hidden behind perfectionism and educational hyperdemand:

The domineering mother outlines in detail what her child’s life should be like. The child rarely manages to reach that high bar and this leads them to experience great anxiety and negative self-perception from an early age. No matter how hard they try, they never manage to satisfy the ideal that their mothers impose.

They speak for their children and make decisions for them

Something that the aforementioned University of California study revealed is the feeling of shame that always haunts the children of authoritarian mothers. The reason? It’s easy to understand.

These women They even decide who can and cannot be friends with their children.They are also those figures who speak for them, who in a conversation manage to silence them to respond in their place. They decide what they like and what they don’t. They plan and take charge of all the tasks that would correspond to their children.

This causes the boy or girl to end up developing a constant feeling of shame at not having a voice or opinion.

Authoritarian mothers: manipulation and iron discipline

Authoritarian motherhood does not allow mistakes, neither from itself nor from its own children. Thus, every time they experience failure they always look for someone to blame. That way, if they have had, for example, a bad day at work, they do not hesitate to tell their children that they are responsible for how badly they behave or the headaches they give them.

To the daily and incisive manipulation in each act and word, iron discipline is added. Each activity is scheduled, the rules are so rigid that they leave no room for play, enjoyment, and freedom. Thus, and given these severe dynamics, it is common for these children to develop eating disorders or even self-harm during adolescence.

Emotions are a sign of weakness

Mothers who defend the slap in time, who believe that to educate you have to impose, punish and threaten, understand little about emotional intelligence. What’s more, on average, emotions have no place and are punished. In these contexts of authoritarianism, the emotion expressed is labeled as a trait of weakness.

The child who cries is ridiculed, the one who protests is reprimanded, and the one who shouts excessively when having fun is reprimanded because he is making a fool of himself. These are undoubtedly experiences that may be familiar to many. And indeed, the wound caused still hurts despite the years. Because Authoritarian parenting does not educate more brilliant people, it gives the world more insecure and unhappy beings.. Let’s keep it in mind.

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